flyguy23 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 hey, me and my gf have been dating for close to 3 yrs. basically we fight alot and now our new reason is because i made plans to visit my friends while we were in a fight and not talking. now we are talkign again and she is saying that if i visit my friends she will break it off for good. she doesnt want me visiting other schools becasue she knows what goes on when ppl do that, you party all weekend etc. what should i do? i love her but i made these plans and cant break them, i guess i could but she could also relax and let me go.
KikiW Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 My personal opinion is that unless you have a history of cheating on her when you're out as similar events, then she needs to just chill out and let you have a social life. Do you have a history that she is concerned with?
tigereyes12 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 If this has long term potential, she needs to trust you. (And similarly you need to earn that trust by not doing things you ought not do [i.e. hooking up with other girls or acting in a way that is harmful to yourself {yes, excessive partying counts as harmful to yourself}--she probably just wants you to be safe and faithful.].)
Author flyguy23 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 nope ive never cheated or anything. shes just mad that she found out that i was planning on doing this from someone else and not me. she says i shouldnt make plans without talkign o her first. but i also think she doesnt want me parttying all weekend at a different school
tigereyes12 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 She's your girlfriend and not your mother. You're your own person. If you want to make plans, that's your right.
Island Girl Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 shes just mad that she found out that i was planning on doing this from someone else and not me. she says i shouldnt make plans without talkign o her first. Hey flyguy23 Of course you don't need to "check with her" before making plans but you really fanned the flames of insecurity by making these plans and then not telling her - allowing her to find out from someone else. I am sure this caused her to feel there may be other things that you do that she may not know about. And certainly some of those things might be problematic to the relationship. She just wants to know she is your one and only. She wants to know she is not going to be blindsided by lie of omission that is hurtful to her. You know that being in an LDR has a lot potential for insecurities to flourish. Full disclosure and telling our partners all of what goes on in our lives is best. Especially when it comes to partying, going out with the guys/girls, etc. Put the shoe on the other foot. Would you want her to go on a trip for the weekend and party it up the whole time? What if she didn't tell you she was planning the party weekend and someone else gave you the scoop?
Author flyguy23 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 you guys are right i def. wouldnt want to be on the other side of the fight. thanks for the advice
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