Dollie Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 and why do they think it is fine to date a girl young enough (literally) to be his daughter??????? After 2 years my boyfriend is out and about with a young girl, we did not even officially break up!! We just did not talk for a few weeks! Today he sent me a joke text, wtf!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
BCCA Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I can promise you its not men overall. It just sounds like this guy had decided it was over a lot longer than two weeks ago. Yeah, jerk move for sure, but trust me - this behavior is not indicative of all men. I've been out of a relationship for over 6 months, and am nowhere near moving on completely.
fishtaco Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Give abstinence a shot. Just kidding. I was doing a ladybugs impression. He's crap if he went on to date someone else BEFORE you two broke up. That's a really bad sign. If I were him, I'd make it clear to you that we're broken up first before I start something else. As far as dating someone half the man's age, why do women think it's okay to date someone twice their age? I don't think it's a big deal. Women like men that are financially established. Older men tend to be more financially established. That's just how it is. But that's beside the point. The issue here is that your BF started dating someone else before breaking it off with you first. Then I don't know what's with the joke txt. He sounds like a crappy person.
Author Dollie Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 I did not think he was a crappy person, I though we loved each other! I know we had problems but his behaviour has shocked me to the core! I do not think all men do this, i know that is how the title sounds but I just meant MY boyfriend, not men in general!
fishtaco Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Well I guess I should clarify. He may or may not be a crappy person in general, but the way he handled this break up situation is definitely crap. He didn't follow etiquette. Anyway he's an ex now I assume. Stick to your decision. If you want out of the relationship, stay out. Unless you want to take him back after all that. Then well, be prepared for this to happen again in the future.
sweetgirl99 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 What exactly is a "rebound". Is a rebound the person you date after a long term relationship and look toward another LTR with? Or is a rebound considered a person you "hookup" with after the LTR is over?
Trialbyfire Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Do you honestly believe he's moved on? I would doubt it due to his responses.Dating a girl who's young enough to be his daughter is a reactionary response. He's using this as a way to show that he's still got it. It's a way to assauge his ego, while bridging the hurt, while showing you up.Sending you a joke text is again reactionary. He's telling you that he's doing just great.I call b/s on all of this. Don't fall for this. I'm also guessing there's more to this story than you're telling us. Edit - I'm not calling b/s on your story, just that he's moved on due to the way he's handling things.
Author Dollie Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 All of my friends are convinced that they are not dating and he is just taking her out and she is going because he is paying and that he is doing this to make me jealous! He did not take her out on Valentines day. I sort of think that he is trying to let me know that he still has it and wants me to fight for him That will not be happening!
Lizzie60 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Methink he's just showing off.. Show off too.. let him see that you can have any man you want.. that should slow him down.. If he knows that this is killing you.. man oh man.. will that give him pleasure.. show him that it doesn't bother you..
carhill Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 OP, it's just an ego feed. Think of it as good information wrt his character
Author Dollie Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 what do you think he will do next?
OpenBook Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Based on your first post, Dollie, my instincts are telling me that he is angry with you. Do you know why? You know better than us what he might do next. But no matter what he does, I completely agree with Lizzie: If he knows that this is killing you.. man oh man.. will that give him pleasure.. show him that it doesn't bother you.. Stay calm, cool and collected with him. He is acting like a child. If I were in your shoes, I would seriously "rethink" him, and whether he's worth one iota more of your precious time.
nicki Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Yes, he's trying to get you to have a reaction. Have the attitude of "He can do whatever he wants. I don't care. I have so many options I don't have time to think about him." If someone you both know tells you about his escapades with the younger woman, use it as an opportunity to say the above line. It will get back to him. If it were me, I'd probably have to add something like "Oh, it makes sense he has to date younger, more impressionable women. Someone with more experience wouldn't put up with his crap. Really, the whole thing is just so sad..." But, you would have to say it without a trace of resentment, which is hard. It would have to be said with pity. And, really, a guy who acts like him IS pitiful. Not worth your time anymore. Hug to you.
Hughesy Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 He's moved on and wants to send you a big middle fingered salute. Kudos to him.
blondesmiler Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Methink he's just showing off.. Show off too.. let him see that you can have any man you want.. that should slow him down.. If he knows that this is killing you.. man oh man.. will that give him pleasure.. show him that it doesn't bother you.. Totally agree, best revenge is too have a great life and not care about OP anymore. OP, it's just an ego feed. Think of it as good information wrt his character Absolutely. Some men (notice I said some not all) cannot stand being alone and so they rebound and regret it later. They think that getting with someone new is the answer and not taking some time to actually get over it, discover yourself and learn from past relationships and mistakes to grow as a person. I took about 8months I had two one night stands, a few dates but spent the time having fun with my girlfriends, with myself, discovering myself and learning about what I could do differently next time. Not too mention regaining my sanity and self esteem back, four fold.
carhill Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I'm going to try the no-rebound, no ONS (goes against my philosophy of intimacy) route and I'll share how that goes. I'm a glutton for punishment
Author Dollie Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Today is a bad day and I have found out that he was persuing her whilst with me! I really want to text him a nasty message, he has lied to me and hurt me so much
blondesmiler Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Today is a bad day and I have found out that he was persuing her whilst with me! I really want to text him a nasty message, he has lied to me and hurt me so much Don't do it, delete his number too stop yourself. You'll only hurt yourself and give him an ego boost in the meantime if you do send anything. Its not worth it, keep your dignity.
Author Dollie Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 I know I should not text him, thank you for being honest with me
Author Dollie Posted February 22, 2009 Author Posted February 22, 2009 It is so hard not to call/text him so I deleted his numbers I have so many unanswered questions and why do I now feel like I want him back? How could I want him back? He is used goods now he has been elsewhere. I never thought he would do this to me!
mortensorchid Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Rebounds are based on one goal and one goal only "I'm going to get another gf / bf before my former gf / bf does, and when I do, I'll show THEM!" That's why he's sending you texts about it, he's showing off. You can't control that. He'll take out his issues with you or some other woman from the past on this poor woman. Just be glad it's not you he's going to take out the abuse on.
chrislovestosurf Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 and why do they think it is fine to date a girl young enough (literally) to be his daughter??????? After 2 years my boyfriend is out and about with a young girl, we did not even officially break up!! We just did not talk for a few weeks! Today he sent me a joke text, wtf!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? beccause we can
alphamale Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 After 2 years my boyfriend is out and about with a young girl, we did not even officially break up!! We just did not talk for a few weeks! thats a break up in my book....especially after 2 years
Lovelybird Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 and why do they think it is fine to date a girl young enough (literally) to be his daughter??????? After 2 years my boyfriend is out and about with a young girl, we did not even officially break up!! We just did not talk for a few weeks! Today he sent me a joke text, wtf!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? because man fears loneliness more than us women maybe he is in middle age crisis
alphamale Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 because man fears loneliness more than us women thats total baloney...everyone fears loneliness
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