loosingmymind Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 hi all. its a long story but I'll try to keep it as short as possible. i've met this chick over facebook we talked for almost a yr. she lived in another country, but we both were from the same country. aftar a yr of ldr we decided to go to our homeland on a vacation we met and things were great we even got engaged. one month after engagment every one had to go back to where he lives, and had a plan that she will move over in like 9 month once i get things ready. things were going great as before even tho we were far from each other and we were madly in love we even could talk every half an hour or txt each other. untill she had to go back to our homeland to take a course which is like 5 month. 3 weeks after she got there things started changing where she lessend her calls and every time i called her we would only talk for 2 min and she wouldnt even say anything and she always had to hangup. i tried breaking up with her 3 times and every time i told her she started crying and telling me she loves me and she cant live without me and when i told her about the things she is doing she would say that she hasnt changed and she doesnt know y am feeling like this. 3 month later i went to spend xmas with her. things were not as expected she didnt show the excitment as the first time we met she was a lil bit cold but at the same time i knew she wasnt seeing anyother guy. because we were together all the time. lately ive been tryin to comfort her more by calling her more and being nice to her but even this is not helping things got a lil better and we are supposed to get married in 3 month from now. but still i cant see the same person i fell in love with. any suggestions on what would be going on? is she getting bored and is not ready to break up yet? im kind of loosing my control and i donno how to deal with things anymore.
Geishawhelk Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 ....we met and things were great we even got engaged. one month after engagment every one had to go back to where he lives, and had a plan that she will move over in like 9 month once i get things ready. Waaaaaaaaay too soon. 3 weeks after she got there things started changing where she lessend her calls and every time i called her we would only talk for 2 min and she wouldnt even say anything and she always had to hangup. i tried breaking up with her 3 times and every time i told her she started crying and telling me she loves me and she cant live without me and when i told her about the things she is doing she would say that she hasnt changed and she doesnt know y am feeling like this. Ok, alarm bells should be going off in your head.....about.....Now!! 3 month later i went to spend xmas with her. things were not as expected she didnt show the excitment as the first time we met she was a lil bit cold but at the same time i knew she wasnt seeing anyother guy. because we were together all the time. Well, No, obviously not. Not whilst you were there, anyway.... But yup. I think there's another guy on the scene. He's around whilst you're not..... lately ive been tryin to comfort her more by calling her more and being nice to her but even this is not helping things got a lil better and we are supposed to get married in 3 month from now. but still i cant see the same person i fell in love with. CALL OFF THE WEDDING - NOW!! any suggestions on what would be going on? is she getting bored and is not ready to break up yet? im kind of loosing my control and i donno how to deal with things anymore. Absence is to Love what wind is to fire. It enflames the great and extinguishes the small. I think you both jumped into this far too quickly. And I really do think someone else might be creeping into your place, bud. I think you should cool it off and call it quits.
Author loosingmymind Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 thx for ur reply bro. but there is one thing that i didnt mention. which is that when i went to see her over xmas we got legaly married and parents are involved in this. so the only thing that keeps me wondering why would she take it too far if she doesnt want it?
Geishawhelk Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I don't get it. You're supposed to get married 3 months from now, but you're legally married already? And how old are you guys?
Author loosingmymind Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 what i meant by legally married is that we got married at the court and she is legally my wife. but we are supposed to have the wedding party in 3 month from now and then she will move over. i'm 23 and she is 20.
Geishawhelk Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Well, you're both far too young to have done this. Frankly, I think it was an idiotic thing to do, at such a long distance, and I don't see this lasting at all well. Ridiculous. You say your parents were involved? Did they all wholeheartedly approve and give their blessings? Crazy. She is far, far too young and immature to have committed to a marriage. She's barely out of her teens, and is nowhere near 'grown-up' enough to do this. Looks like you're finding out the hard way. THis is not a good start, is it?
Author loosingmymind Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 well both parents were involved mine and her at the same time and they both blessed it because it was our choice. and i agree with you that she is still young but i gave her the chance a couple of times to not take this decision if she is not ready. and as i mentioned before i asked her couple times if there is somebody else in her life or if she is seeing somebody else and that marriage is gonna be totally different than just dating and her answer was that there is nobody else in her life but me, and all she wants is to be my wife and be with me. im really confused now, i used to trust her before but now it feels like there is thing in my head that keeps poping up. has she seen somebody else while she was there since she is going back to her country in 15 days from now. but at the same time i keep asking my self why would she get in such a situation if she thinks im not all she wants.
Geishawhelk Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Not a good footing to start your marriage on, is it? I suggest you try to glide this one, and then when you get together, opt for some immediate counselling to sort your heads out. What were you thinking - ?! If you haven't consummated your marriage you could still get it annulled. I'd seriously be thinking of that route. But I bet you jumped in there with both feet first, too.... I hate to say it, but if I met your parents, I'd have something to say....! I can't believe they just rolled over and gave you their blessing... Why aren't you discussing this with them, and getting their advice and feedback? I can guess why. Because if you did, one of them would probably turn round and say - "We told you so!" What on earth made you think for one moment this would work - ??
Joyvke Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 So if I get this straight. You met on facebook and were "together" for a year without actually having seen each other. So it was a relation based on text. Then you meet up for the first time, it was fun and you actually get engaged? Engaged the FIRST time you see eachother in person? Seriously what were you guys thinking. Don't tell me you got married the very first meeting up. What ever happened with "date IRL, and see what happens" rather then online relationships never meet and when you meet first time or second time to actually get engaged :S. 23 and 20 is a bit young to jump into marriage, and well, sorry to say, but you both don't sound very mature to actually having married.
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