Template Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Really, hands up. Let's see them. Up until this point in my life, I've never had hate for anyone. Not even my past exes. Except for my last one. While I always try to be civil to everyone, I go by the golden rule "Treat people the way you want to be treated." Without going into too much detail, let's just say, that what my ex does, I clearly don't deserve, not back then, and not NOW. I absolutely, unequivocally hate this woman, and people who truly know me, know this is saying a lot - as I've never, ever, hated a person in my life. Maybe it's just my justified emotions catching up to me, or maybe because she's still being a bitch when she doesn't have to or need to. I once felt sorry for her, and hoped she get better, now I just feels like she deserves all the crap in her life, and should get more.
sad_panda Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Nah I don't hate my ex, never did. I was angry for a while, but I never hated him. *shrugs* I'm just feeling indifferent towards him.
thegoodlife Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I know how you feel. Though I've never used the word hate towards anyone, I do feel the same way towards one of my exes. This break up goes back years ago but she continued to get involved in my life, try and destroy any new friendships or relationships I had, and basically continued to harass me for years after I moved out and stopped speaking to her. I know your whole back story with that witch of a woman and your emotions are totally justifiable. I just hope it doesn't hold you back from progressing onwards with your life.
confused and broken Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I hate my ex.... I havn't even come close to forgiving him But its still fresh eventually I will forgive him somehow I can't imagine how I hated him so much that I almost hated all men along with him
DSM-IV Tom Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Topic creator, please go into detail what your ex has done to warrant your hatred.
BCCA Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Think about how strong your emotions have to be to hate someone, and what a drain it is to maintain that hatred. Its almost like being in love, you're spending a lot of effort on her that isnt neccesary. My ex was a horrible, horrible person, led me on, wasted me time, used me, and a million other things. I will never be her friend in a million years. I'm not going to spend my time hating her, though. She's just another jerk, among the endless sea of douchebags in our society. I dislike her, but I dont hate her because I just dont care enough to.
Trialbyfire Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I don't hate any of my exes. They're the same person they've always been, in that they have great traits and some not so great traits. They're human, as I am. Sometimes, when I think about old relationships, I get angry. Then I think about the purpose behind the anger and why do that? Then it's let go since there's honestly no good reason to hold onto the negativity. To hate is to waste emotion and hurt yourself in the process. Move on.
Author Template Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 Topic creator, please go into detail what your ex has done to warrant your hatred. Well, she basically added me to her Facebook profile. This was last friday. So I'm looking at the "accept" "ignore" "send message functions", I'm going through my head, "why did she add me on?" So after talking to some friends, some opinions ranged from "hells no" to "add her on, maybe she just trying to reach out to you." I know I know, I should have just ignored and moved on. Make no mistake, I would NOT have attempted reconciliation at any point, but it would be nice if she apoligized. Somehow this got the best of my thinking. So I accepted. Well a couple hours later, she deletes me, and then put her profile to private. I know some of this is MY fault, and trust me, I'm kicking my own nuts for it, but DAMN... WTF! I'm not even thinking of why she did what she did, I'm just filled with hate for her - and everything that goes with it.
Author Template Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 To hate is to waste emotion and hurt yourself in the process. Move on. I agree, and i've always felt the same way. That's why I and everyone around me is shocked that I'm feeling this way. Everyone that knows me, knows that I am always more than willing to forgive and forget as no one is perfect (and a lot of times they think I'm naive for it). So to get me to this point.... hooo weee!!
EmperorR Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I hate what my ex did to me, but I can't honestly say I hate her
Trialbyfire Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I agree, and i've always felt the same way. That's why I and everyone around me is shocked that I'm feeling this way. Everyone that knows me, knows that I am always more than willing to forgive and forget as no one is perfect (and a lot of times they think I'm naive for it). So to get me to this point.... hooo weee!! Template, SHE can't do anything to you. YOU can only allow her to do it to you.
Author Template Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 Template, SHE can't do anything to you. YOU can only allow her to do it to you. You are right in saying this. And I shouldn't have accepted her invite. There are many things in which I shouldn't do, and the hardest thing is to do go against my instincts and not do the wrong thing. My emotions got the best of me, and I was looking for something that I knew would probably have been impossible to find. Regardless what I choose to do, and mistake I made, it doesn't give her the right to antagonize me like that.
Trialbyfire Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 You are right in saying this. And I shouldn't have accepted her invite. There are many things in which I shouldn't do, and the hardest thing is to do go against my instincts and not do the wrong thing. My emotions got the best of me, and I was looking for something that I knew would probably have been impossible to find. Regardless what I choose to do, and mistake I made, it doesn't give her the right to antagonize me like that. You're human and hoping for a positive sign. No but she can't antagonize you unless you let her. She doesn't have your best interests in mind with her actions. Therefore, it's time to bullet-proof yourself, now that you see her in a more realistic light, without the rose coloured glasses. Let it go. She's not worth the pain.
Woggle Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I used to hate her but now I look at her and have nothing but pity. She is such a sad and pathetic person. She is punishing herself worse than anything I could ever do to her.
Author Template Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 You're human and hoping for a positive sign. No but she can't antagonize you unless you let her. She doesn't have your best interests in mind with her actions. Therefore, it's time to bullet-proof yourself, now that you see her in a more realistic light, without the rose coloured glasses. Let it go. She's not worth the pain. You know it's funny that you said this. I used to be bullet-proof when I first met her. I had a wall, and she worked hard at taking it down. She convinced me, NOT to treat her like the people that made be put up my wall in the first place (whole lot of trust issue, fear of commitment, fear of getting hurt, fear of communicating, etc.). Basically said I could trust her. Wanted to "Kick the ass of the people that made me the way I was." HAHA!! Truth be told, I didn't want to be like that, but I had to protect myself and be "bullet-proof". She helped took that all down, to allow myself to open up and be vulnerable. Fast forward to today, she DESTROYED any and every trust I had for her. I guess in this whole facebook thing, I thought I may have had that one last bastion of trust for her. I was wrong. Maybe I'm not angry at her, but angry at myself, for continuingly being so damned STUPID. To trust a person that doesn't deserve it. She's just evil incarnate (oh, did I mention she has two Master's- 1 in psychological counseling, and 1 in developmental psychology. So not only does she know how to mind ***** people, she knows how to do it right.)
Knight_Ctrl Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I do, I only hope someone does to her what she did to me.....evil bitch.
Lizzie60 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 No.. I am friends with ALL my exes.. long and short term.. Bitterness and anger are destructive emotions.. Life is too short.. Plus, I have nothing against any of them..
Knight_Ctrl Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I feel like I need/want to elaborate on what my ex did to deserve hatred. <rage> 8 months of what appeared to be a perfect relationship, then one day she starts getting distant. She strings me along for a month telling me she doesn't know what she wants then breaks up with me so she can be "single". The real deal was she was spending all of November toying with me while she dated my friend, she kept us both as her boyfriend through November while she figured out who she wanted to be with. Ultimately choosing him. All in all she screwed with my feelings, cheated on me (possibly sexually) and double back stabbed me, then made up a bunch of BS reasons for doing so. About how we were "so different" and "we wouldn't have lasted". Yeah thanks for giving me a ****ing chance, you definitely handled it the right way by stringing me along, dating my friend, lying to me. And crushing my heart. You greedy selfish shortsighted bitch. </rage>
Author Template Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 I feel like I need/want to elaborate on what my ex did to deserve hatred. <rage> 8 months of what appeared to be a perfect relationship, then one day she starts getting distant. She strings me along for a month telling me she doesn't know what she wants then breaks up with me so she can be "single". The real deal was she was spending all of November toying with me while she dated my friend, she kept us both as her boyfriend through November while she figured out who she wanted to be with. Ultimately choosing him. All in all she screwed with my feelings, cheated on me (possibly sexually) and double back stabbed me, then made up a bunch of BS reasons for doing so. About how we were "so different" and "we wouldn't have lasted". Yeah thanks for giving me a ****ing chance, you definitely handled it the right way by stringing me along, dating my friend, lying to me. And crushing my heart. You greedy selfish shortsighted bitch. </rage> Yep. In my book, this is justified. They say "Let the punishment fit the crime." Yet what crime has all of us committed to be treated with such disdain like this. I feel for ya.
IcemanJB Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Nope, don't hate my current ex. I was very angry at the situation, but not at her. I kinda wish I were pissed at her though; seems like it would make it easier, but she simply didn't do anything awful to me. Template, you have good reason to be irate.
LostLamb Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I don't hate my ex right now but it depends what kind of day I am having! My break up was for a strange reason though so hating myself makes more sense
IcemanJB Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I agree with the notion of not burning bridges. I'm on good terms with all of my exes as of now. You never know how it could help you down the road. Unless she already burned the bridge by cheating or something, I don't see the point in holding a grudge.
Truly Lost Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 She probably requested you to add her to your facebook page because she wanted to see if you would actually accept. Maybe because she wanted to view your page, just for a moment, to see what was going on with you. Once she thoroughly looked through your page, she got the info she needed and decided to delete you because she didn't want you keeping tabs on her. She was being nosy and it came off as being really rude and inconsiderate. I would be ticked off too, but try not to let it piss you off too much. She is a thing of the past now. If she wants you back, she's gotta do some begging, but you can't make it easy for her.
Truly Lost Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I also want to add that even though hating someone takes a lot of energy that you don't need to waste, it does have a way of keeping things in perspective. You can't allow yourself to forget what happened between you two. If you think about it, would a reconciliation ever work with the amount of anger you have for her. The trust has been completely torn down. Its extremely hard to rebuild. I'm not saying you want her back, but lets be realistic....for almost every person that suffered a break up on this forum, I think everyone, even if just slightly, thought they might reconcile.
LostLamb Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I agree with the notion of not burning bridges. I'm on good terms with all of my exes as of now. You never know how it could help you down the road. Unless she already burned the bridge by cheating or something, I don't see the point in holding a grudge. You mean you might need their help one day? I would have like to have stayed friends with my ex but he started new relationship so soon and was very angry with me. Could do with his help right now so I am strting to think you are right:laugh:
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