Failed at NC...but I'm still ending it!

[katterskacy]

You guys are goinng to be very mad at me. I failed at NC. I tried to ignore his calls but I eventually answered. We had a conversation (really he talked the whole time) and he told me more lies. The only time I ever really spoke, was when I asked him when he was going to come here and he said (this was monday) that he would be visiting on Wednesday.

I know, I should have just ignored him and never should have picked up, but I did alot of thinking over the weekend and decided that if I'm going to end it with him, I need to do it in person. I just need that kind of closure. Agree or disagree, but I think that will work best for me.

This is all I'm going to say to him tonight:

"I know about the cruise, you lied to me about your girlfriend. I refuse to be the other women in your life. The only way I can continue to see you is if you end things with her. If you can't do that, then I'm walking out right now and you can never contact me again".

 

I know, you guys are going to ask me why, but I just really feel it's best to do this in person.

 

Yes, I also understand that he may just lie and say ok, I will end it with her, but then not. So I will say that if you want to be with me, you will take me out on actual dates and it will be a long time before we have sex.

 

I'm TOTALLY ok with him not being able to do all this and I expect that he will not be able to. I know he is a liar and a cheat and that I deserve better.

 

I'm expecting that I will have to walk away and I'm ok with that. I just know that I will feel better if I end it this way.

Please don't say I'm the most crazy person to post on here........

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Yes, I also understand that he may just lie and say ok, I will end it with her, but then not. So I will say that if you want to be with me, you will take me out on actual dates and it will be a long time before we have sex.

KK, I'm glad you realize this atleast.

 

Ask yourself this please. What is it that he wants from you? As evidenced by his actions, I mean. It seems to me that he wants someone who will believe his lies. He wants a R or friendship based on lies?? What does that say about him? He's an opportunist? Doesn't want (isn't capapable of) a real R with either of you? He looks for doormats to make him self feel impowered??? What does that tell you about the type of person he is??? He will never change, he feeds of treating people like that and draws people into his life that will accept it.

 

What kind of sick powerplay is it to have someone confront you with the truth then continue to lie so that they will pretend to believe something that you both know isn't true. CRAZY MAKING!

 

Get rid of your fantasy about him, take a hard look at the reality of him. People who get off on this are sick, and this kind of sickness isn't changable. Good Grief, YOU have a life, YOU have the information that you need. Unfortunately it sounds like his girlfriend doesn't.

[jj33]

You need to do what you need to do. But do NOT do at it at your house or his house or hotel.

 

You do it at a public place, like a restaurant, where you can walk out.

 

Because you will be walking out alone next Wed - because he wont have ended it with her.

 

So you thank him for dinner. You walk out. He will be making promises and saying he will do it as soon as (pigs fly who knows what time line he will give) better yet dont make it dinner tell him you are busy and only have time for a drink. Or say yes to dinner and leave before you order. Yes let him sit there and watch you leave. Maybe he can get a doggy bag.

 

But if you must see him you must do it knowing you cant do it somewhere where he can seduce you into spending yet another night with him. You drive yourself there. You dont drink. You say what you have to say and that is it.

 

Seeing him at your house means there is a 99% likelihood he will draw you back in with little or no effort - just those lies that roll off his tongue.

[katterskacy]

You need to do what you need to do. But do NOT do at it at your house or his house or hotel.

 

You do it at a public place, like a restaurant, where you can walk out.

 

Because you will be walking out alone next Wed - because he wont have ended it with her.

 

So you thank him for dinner. You walk out. He will be making promises and saying he will do it as soon as (pigs fly who knows what time line he will give) better yet dont make it dinner tell him you are busy and only have time for a drink. Or say yes to dinner and leave before you order. Yes let him sit there and watch you leave. Maybe he can get a doggy bag.

 

But if you must see him you must do it knowing you cant do it somewhere where he can seduce you into spending yet another night with him. You drive yourself there. You dont drink. You say what you have to say and that is it.

 

Seeing him at your house means there is a 99% likelihood he will draw you back in with little or no effort - just those lies that roll off his tongue.

 

 

He called last night and said it will be TONIGHT he is coming here.

 

Don't worry, it will be a long time before I welcome him back in my house. The usual MO is drinks & dinner (followed by an evening at my house or a nice hotel)but we usually first met in one of our cars....so what my plan is to tell him to met me outside the restuarant(in front of it)by my car. And I will tell him then. That way I can just jump and my car & go!