winsmith-84 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 OK, normally I'm pretty good at telling if a chick likes me (as in wants a relationship) or just wants to have sex with me. Normally, if a chick likes me, she kinda has a curious look in her eyes. And when we talk, she's more interested in my personality and such and wants to have an actual conversation with me. But if a chick just wants to have sex with you, she's normally more into flirting and teasing and stuff - and looks at you 'hard' when you make eye contact... Sorry long ass post... - - - However, this one chick I met at a party, I'm having a hard time deciphering what's going on. I kinda know her through a friend, so it's not like we've never seen each other before. So we start talking at this party, and I eventually get her number - or rather she kinda gives it to me. At this point I think she likes me, because A) she's not really flirting that much, i.e. flipping her hair, giving me looks, etc.., B) she wondering what I was doing the next day so we can hangout. I call her up the next day at like 6 in the evening (because I was hungover, and forgot that she wanted to hangout. She actually added me on facebook, which is how I remembered to call her), but anyways I get to her voicemail, so I leave a message. She calls me back in 30 min and tells me she's at a friends house so I tell her to call me back later after she's done with what she's doing. She calls me back later, at around 10, to see if I wanted to hang out. Unfortunately, I was hanging out with some of my friends at that time, so I told her that we should hang out some other time. Note: Ok, I understand when someone you barely know calls you at 10:30 at night, she's probably interested in sex, but I'm at college and it was the weekend, and people do this all the time (or at least that's how I think it works). Like I call people up after 11 during the weekends and see if they want to hang out all the time. After 12 or 1, then it's questionable... The next day, I went to the local college bar with my friends, and she happened to be there too (purely coincidental because every college student goes here on Monday nights) - which was cool, because I started flirting with her. At this point I still think she likes me, because she wasn't really flirting that much back, and she was really interested in whatever I had to say. After a couple of drinks and continuous flirting/teasing, I asked her if she wanted to dance - and she was like yah! So she grabs onto my arm and I lead her to the dance floor. However, halfway there, she moves her hand down from my biceps to my hand, and leads ME to the dance floor. I was like, "Ok... Cool!" So we start dancing and frankly, she was REALLY into it, if you know what I mean. It's at this point, I start thinking, OK, maybe she just wants to have sex with me. So we dance like 2 songs, and I'm pretty sure, if we would have danced any longer, we would have started making out. (Like when I was talking to her on the dance floor, her face was really close to my face, and she was kinda looking at my mouth). But I couldn't tell when to make the move, because every time I'd finish talking, she'd immediately put her face back on my shoulder so I couldn't make out with her. Unfortunately, this particular college bar closed at 2, and we started dancing at like 1:50, so I didn't have a chance to take it a step further right there. So, I decide to walk her back to her place (my place was not an option because there's some other extenuating circumstances that are not important to this story). On the walk back, she was holding my arm, tight, and now she was really flirting with me. By this time, I was drunk, so my judgment on body language has become REALLY terrible - so details are kinda blurry. Anyways, we get to her dorm, and my judgment was really off, so I couldn't figure out through her body language if she wanted me to come in with her or not. So, not wanting to be either a creep or needy or whatever, I decided to go the literal route (which was to wait for her to verbally ask me in), which did not happen. (I was also too drunk at this time to think of a way to drop a hint as to allowing me into her dorm - like saying something like what are you planning on doing, etc..) She thanks me, I give her a hug, and as I hug her, she backs up and plants a kiss on my cheek. And then we part ways. - - - Ok, so does she like me? or does she just want to have sex with me? or is it a little bit of both? This is kind of important because right now, I'm more interested in the sex, hence more flirting and less actual conversation. However, if she wants a relationship, I don't want to lead her on. And plus, I need to know how to cater to her, as in more conversation and less flirting or whatever... Also, what should be my next move? I'm afraid if I ask her out to an actual date, like to a restaurant or something, she'd think I like her - which is not a stage I'm at yet. Right now, I'm planning to ask her to hangout at another party, or bar, and hopefully decipher her some how. ANY TIPS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED! I'm only in college so I'm still very inexperienced at this stuff. Much thanks!
blondesmiler Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 One would suggest stop referring to women as chicks, that is my best tip at the moment!
Author winsmith-84 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 One would suggest stop referring to women as chicks, that is my best tip at the moment! Haha, alright, I'll correct that. Is babe fine? haha j/k Damn, I can't edit my original post and change chick to girl.
Peter_pan Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 ok so your just in it for the sex. well sounds like she likes you mate. i say keep it fun, ask her on a date and play your game if it dosnt lead to sex soon then you know she isnt in it for that, and you can make it clear thats all your in it for. no one gets hurt then.
Author winsmith-84 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 ok so your just in it for the sex. well sounds like she likes you mate. i say keep it fun, ask her on a date and play your game if it dosnt lead to sex soon then you know she isnt in it for that, and you can make it clear thats all your in it for. no one gets hurt then. sounds good. I guess I'll just try to have a good time with her and see what happens. and by date, do you mean actual date, or just hangout someplace like at a party
Geishawhelk Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 You really ARE very inexperienced, aren't you? Instead of just looking for an easy lay and a 'good time', has it not occurred to you to think about just going out with a lady or two, with no ulterior motive in mind other than to get to know her and to have an enjoyable evening.....Hang on.... how old are you, by the way?
carhill Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 He's college age... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t179717/ OP, I'll opine you were a situational ego feed. You validated her attractiveness
Geishawhelk Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 By 'college age' you mean under 19? College means different things to us in the UK. A college student, here, could be 55; it's not unusual for people to go back into education at any age they want to. He's in the habit of referring to women as 'chicks' though. And I do recommend he shift that habit.
Peter_pan Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 lol, yeah dude have fun with her, it dosnt hurt to make some friends along the road.. then they lead to more girls etc. yeah i mean date as in hang out at a party or just one and one, both are good ideas.
carhill Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 By 'college age' you mean under 19? What do you think I am, psychic? I think we can assume he's not 55
confused and broken Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I think that she really likes you By the way she bothers to call you back and didn't just invite you in for sex You are on the route to break her heart And yes in case you were wondering hearts do get broken in college Leave her alone if you are just going to use her for sex Instead find some slut who leads you into her room 20 minutes after meeting her
Author winsmith-84 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 You really ARE very inexperienced, aren't you? Instead of just looking for an easy lay and a 'good time', has it not occurred to you to think about just going out with a lady or two, with no ulterior motive in mind other than to get to know her and to have an enjoyable evening.....Hang on.... how old are you, by the way? Hey man, never said I was mature and stuff. I admit, I'm young and at college. Just take the story as is and if you need more details ask. And like I said, in a reply earlier, I won't use 'chick' anymore. And yes, what you've said has crossed my mind, but this is a different situation. There's some reasons why I can't go out with her (as in a relationship) right this moment. And I don't really see having so called 'ulterior' motives as bad. Everyone has them - heck, the whole reason I posted this was to figure out what her motives are. I would like to know what she wants from me, that ways I know what to do next.
calazhage Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Don't worry about her feelings.. Chances are she might just want sex.. If you want her to dump you quick, have sex with her, then keep calling her and tell her you love her.
Author winsmith-84 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 I think that she really likes you By the way she bothers to call you back and didn't just invite you in for sex You are on the route to break her heart And yes in case you were wondering hearts do get broken in college Leave her alone if you are just going to use her for sex Instead find some slut who leads you into her room 20 minutes after meeting her Well, that's what I thought at first - but then she was really coming on to me at the bar. Oh well, I guess the best thing to do is to wait and see. I'm open to a relationship, but I can't really date her right now because of extenuating circumstances. And thanks for the responses by the way.
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