Caught Wife of 5 Years Cheating a few days before Valentine's Day

[MrSmith]

Over the past month or so i noticed small changes in my wives behaviour, such as buying new clothes, her becoming more concerned about her looks, going out with friends more, late home from work, being protective of her cell phone (the list goes on). The Tuesday before Valentines Day my suspicions got the better of me so i decided to log onto her email addresses and within opening a few messages my suspicions were confirmed.

 

The inbox was full of emails from two different guys. They were very explicit. My first reaction was complete shock, i always considered my wife to be very conservative and a real lady but these emails were anything but. I then opened a separate folder which was full of photos and video clips (which looked like they were shoot on her cell phone) of her engaging in every type of sexual activity with one of these guys, some of the videos were of her with him in our house.

 

Again shook and anger shot through me and i thought i was going to be sick, but the strange thing is that instead of smashing the computer in anger i continued to look at all the photos and clips in her folder and started getting very aroused. I was incredibly turned on for the rest of the day and when my wife returned home from work we ended up having some of the best sex of our marriage which i'm continuing to have a week later. It's like her infidelity reignited our sex life.

 

I am now a bag of emotions. I don't know how to tell her i know about her cheating. I know she is still seeing at least one of the guys she is emailing. She made up a story about having to go over to a friends house on Valentine's day for a couple of hours because she had recently separated from her husband and she thought that it might be hard on her. The reality, which i knew from checking her emails was that she was going over to his house. My stomach sank when she left, i was hurt, jealous and angry but all these emotions gave way to my growing arousal wondering what she was at, and when she did come home a few hours later i couldn't keep my hands off her.

 

I don't know whether to tell her i know all about her affair or not. I would be afraid that this would give her an excuse to go mad at me for invading her privacy by checking her emails causing her to leave me for this other guy. Besides all the sneaking around i am still madly in love with her and believe that she is with me.

[Dexter Morgan]

I am now a bag of emotions. I don't know how to tell her i know about her cheating.

 

Uh, easy. you print off the emails....forward them to your email account so you can keep record.

 

then show her the emails and simply say, "busted". Then leave the room. Wait for her response.

 

But seriously.....more than one guy? Maybe its time to contact a good divorce lawyer. Why would you want the ho after this?

 

Ah, but then again, you were turned on by the photos:o. So maybe you might be ok with being a cuckold? Maybe not. Only you can say.

 

But either you are angry, or turned on....I can't imagine anyone being both.

 

 

I know she is still seeing at least one of the guys she is emailing. She made up a story about having to go over to a friends house on Valentine's day for a couple of hours because she had recently separated from her husband and she thought that it might be hard on her. The reality, which i knew from checking her emails was that she was going over to his house. My stomach sank when she left, i was hurt, jealous and angry but all these emotions gave way to my growing arousal wondering what she was at, and when she did come home a few hours later i couldn't keep my hands off her.

 

Ok, is this for real? Or is this an attempt at an erotic story post?

 

 

 

I don't know whether to tell her i know all about her affair or not. I would be afraid that this would give her an excuse to go mad at me for invading her privacy by checking her emails causing her to leave me for this other guy.

 

Good, so what? Let the other guy have the wh0re. If she gets mad at you for "invasion of privacy" rather than being humble and humiliated that she was caught f####g other men, then that shows even more about her lousy character as if being a cheater wasn't bad enough.

 

 

Besides all the sneaking around i am still madly in love with her and believe that she is with me.

 

you believe she loves you and she is f#####g other men? Oh my poor delusional brother.

 

No woman, I mean NO WOMAN, is worth putting up with cheating. Something tells me you are willing to half way put up with cheating so she doesn't leave you?

 

Maybe you need individual counseling.

[2sunny]

yes, tell her you know. who cares how you found out at this point - considering what she's been doing.

 

don't be a doormat, your reaction has me concerned. unless you want to agree to an open marriage, your wife's behavior should be discussed with her asap.

 

i don't understand why you haven't done something already? what are you waiting for?

[Bryanp]

Are you serious? Your wife has been screwing at least 2 men behind your back and putting your health at great risk for STD's. She has betrayed you in the worst possible way. She has been screwing other men in your home. She has absolutely no respect for you or your marriage and is playing you for a complete fool. What is your response...you are afraid of saying anything because she might get angry with you for invading her privacy?...What is wrong with this picture? If the roles were reversed do you think your wife would be so timid that she would not say anything to you knowing you are screwing other women in your home?

 

If this post is for real (which I am not sure of) that you truly are a fool for not saying anything and letting your wife screw other men in their home and your home. The result will eventually be you get a sexually transmitted disease and or she falls in love with one of her lovers. Clearly she thinks you are an idiot and has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Clearly she has destroyed your manhood that you simply too afraid to confront her that she is making a mockery of your marriage and a mockery of you.

[MrSmith]

Please don't this thread into another bashing, "oh she's a b**ch" she's subjecting you to STD's etc. like i have seen in so many other threads.

 

It might look simple what to do if you were in my shoes but there are alot of other factors to be taken into account. If you met my wife you would not believe she is the type to do this, she has always been so conservative, the type of women that would blush at the mention of something sexual in public. What i saw in her email account completely shocked me, its a real Jackal and Hyde situation. And after the anger subsided i was highly aroused at her almost animal sexual nature.

 

And i know this must sound crazy but i love her even more, i am more turned on by her than i have ever been since i first started going out with her over 10 years ago, and i don't want to lose her.

 

My problem is how to tell her i know about her affair, let alone that i was actually aroused by the video clips and photos. What ever about you guys thinking i'm some sick freak i don't want her thinking it. I just want to be able to talk to her about the whole thing without it ruining our marriage.

 

p.s what's a cuckold?

[Dexter Morgan]

Please don't this thread into another bashing, "oh she's a b**ch" she's subjecting you to STD's etc. like i have seen in so many other threads.

 

Why do I here the desperate call coming of a man that wrapped around a woman's finger and wants to desperately stay with her no matter what she does to him?

 

 

It might look simple what to do if you were in my shoes

 

I have been in your shoes, thats why I say what I say.

 

 

but there are alot of other factors to be taken into account.

 

I don't know of any factors that trump the actions of a cheating wife.

 

 

If you met my wife you would not believe she is the type to do this, she has always been so conservative, the type of women that would blush at the mention of something sexual in public.

 

so what? doesn't matter what type we think she is if we were to meet her. What matters is what type she IS. She is a cheater...she is doing it.

 

If you don't want to see it, then there isn't much anyone can do unless the advice is on how to cope with being a cuckold.

 

 

What i saw in her email account completely shocked me, its a real Jackal and Hyde situation. And after the anger subsided i was highly aroused at her almost animal sexual nature.

 

And i know this must sound crazy but i love her even more, i am more turned on by her than i have ever been since i first started going out with her over 10 years ago, and i don't want to lose her.

 

Then let her cheat and go with the flow.

 

 

My problem is how to tell her i know about her affair, let alone that i was actually aroused by the video clips and photos.

 

Whats the point? She is going to cheat, you are going to allow it because you don't want to lose her and are aroused at her cheating.

 

there is no point to tell. You are a cuckold and will remain so as long as you are whipped by her and aroused by her cheating. No point in telling her.

 

 

What ever about you guys thinking i'm some sick freak i don't want her thinking it.

 

Let me get this straight......she is a cheater, but you are worried about what she thinks of your arousal at her cheating? Uh......ok:confused:

 

 

I just want to be able to talk to her about the whole thing without it ruining our marriage.

 

p.s what's a cuckold?

 

A cuckold is a man that is willing to put up with a cheating wife just because he doesn't want to lose her.

[lostsoulmate]

Why do I here the desperate call coming of a man that wrapped around a woman's finger and wants to desperately stay with her no matter what she does to him?

 

Dex-This isn't very nice. Why would you put someone down like this?

 

I have been in your shoes, thats why I say what I say.

 

You may have been in his shoes, but not in his mind. He may not think the way you do. Any that is absolutely fin.

 

I don't know of any factors that trump the actions of a cheating wife.

 

The key word here is "I". Maybe MrSmith has a different view.

 

so what? doesn't matter what type we think she is if we were to meet her. What matters is what type she IS. She is a cheater...she is doing it.

 

It matters to him.

 

 

Whats the point? She is going to cheat, you are going to allow it because you don't want to lose her and are aroused at her cheating.

 

These feelings are ok for him to have. If you don't agree or even want to understand his position quit posting in this thread.

 

Let me get this straight......she is a cheater, but you are worried about what she thinks of your arousal at her cheating? Uh......ok:confused:

 

Again, these are his feelings Dex. Not yours.

 

 

A cuckold is a man that is willing to put up with a cheating wife just because he doesn't want to lose her.

 

The actual definition of a cuckold is the husband of an adulteress wife. The last part you threw for another stab. Nice.

[lostsoulmate]

Please don't this thread into another bashing, "oh she's a b**ch" she's subjecting you to STD's etc. like i have seen in so many other threads.

 

It might look simple what to do if you were in my shoes but there are alot of other factors to be taken into account. If you met my wife you would not believe she is the type to do this, she has always been so conservative, the type of women that would blush at the mention of something sexual in public. What i saw in her email account completely shocked me, its a real Jackal and Hyde situation. And after the anger subsided i was highly aroused at her almost animal sexual nature.

 

And i know this must sound crazy but i love her even more, i am more turned on by her than i have ever been since i first started going out with her over 10 years ago, and i don't want to lose her.

 

My problem is how to tell her i know about her affair, let alone that i was actually aroused by the video clips and photos. What ever about you guys thinking i'm some sick freak i don't want her thinking it. I just want to be able to talk to her about the whole thing without it ruining our marriage.

 

p.s what's a cuckold?

 

MrSmith,

 

You should talk to her. You never know... she may enjoy the fact that you are enjoying yourself more because you know she has animal instincts.

 

Perhaps you both need to have a more open relationship (then you wouldn't have to feel bad about invading her privacy).

 

Whichever way this goes, MrSmith, I wish you good luck. And I also hope you find happiness.

[Bryanp]

Do you understand the meaning of the fact that she has been screwing men in your home? Only a spouse that has absolute distain for her husband and marriage would engage in such behavior in your own home. Thank goodness you do not have children. How much more could she have humiliated you by taking pictures of all of her sex acts and screwing men in your home and I assume your bed. After all of this you are still fearful of telling her you know what she is doing? I am sorry but I do not understand your thought process. All I can say is that if it does not bother you that your wife is screwing other men in their homes and your home behind your back then good luck to you. Either you are either totally co-dependent or masochistic. I encourage you to seek therapy. Nevertheless I wish you luck.

[lostsoulmate]

Maybe deep down he wants to ask his wife if they can swing? Ever thought of that?

[jwi71]

Please don't this thread into another bashing, "oh she's a b**ch" she's subjecting you to STD's etc. like i have seen in so many other threads.

 

In the videos of your W screwing other men in your home, where they wearing condoms? Even if they were, you ARE at risk of STDs...

 

They ONLY way to be certain you have NOT contracted an STD is to be tested. So go get tested to make sure...its YOUR health on the line whether you wish to believe it or not.

It might look simple what to do if you were in my shoes but there are alot of other factors to be taken into account.

Such as...

 

If you met my wife you would not believe she is the type to do this, she has always been so conservative, the type of women that would blush at the mention of something sexual in public.

Uh...I guess you are STILL in shock because you have VIDEO PROOF of the exact opposite of your shy conservative W.

 

And i know this must sound crazy but i love her even more, i am more turned on by her than i have ever been since i first started going out with her over 10 years ago, and i don't want to lose her

Maybe you are cuckold. There is nothing wrong with that per se. A cuckold is someone who has sexual gratification when his/her spouse has intercourse with others. They, per my limited googles, typically enjoy watching. Would you like to watch your W have intercourse with others? It is a fetish...and maybe you have it.

My problem is how to tell her i know about her affair, let alone that i was actually aroused by the video clips and photos.

Nothing wrong with being a cuckold. Its a sexual fetish...nothing more.

 

What ever about you guys thinking i'm some sick freak i don't want her thinking it.

You SHOULDN'T care about what we think of your sexual proclivities. What happens in your bedroom is none of our business. This thread is less of the A but more of YOUR sexual discovery.

 

I just want to be able to talk to her about the whole thing without it ruining our marriage.

You guys have some obvious communication problems. You need to learn how to talk openly and honestly about your feelings.

 

I have no idea how you explain your fetish to your W. I would suggest openness and honesty. I mean, you aren't trying to convince her to cuckold you, you are giving her permission to. Doesn't sound like a difficult conversation to me.

 

Just tell her you KNOW and its ok. Take it from there.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Actually, I read in a book by a sociologist that many men's first response to finding out about their wifes infidelity is to have sex with her. That it is normal for them to see her in more of a sexual way than they have in the past. They also say that it is normal for many men to underestimate there wives sexuality, hence the turn-on in finding out that she has a more sensual side.

[Dexter Morgan]

 

Why do I here the desperate call coming of a man that wrapped around a woman's finger and wants to desperately stay with her no matter what she does to him?

 

Dex-This isn't very nice. Why would you put someone down like this?

 

I wasn't. That is what he is doing. he needs to see it unless he simply wants to stay with her no matter what she does.

 

he wants to stay with her no matter what...therefore discussing the affair with her is futile since he doesn't want to lose her and is aroused by her cheating.

 

 

I have been in your shoes, thats why I say what I say.

 

You may have been in his shoes, but not in his mind. He may not think the way you do. Any that is absolutely fin.

 

Oh I know he doesn't think the way I do. Thats why i say he should just keep quiet and enjoy his cheating wife. he likes it...he is aroused by it....no worries.

 

 

I don't know of any factors that trump the actions of a cheating wife.

 

The key word here is "I". Maybe MrSmith has a different view.

 

Well if he thinks otherwise, he can do as he likes.

 

 

so what? doesn't matter what type we think she is if we were to meet her. What matters is what type she IS. She is a cheater...she is doing it.

 

It matters to him.

 

Then he can stay with her and put up with her cheating. the choice is his.

 

 

Whats the point? She is going to cheat, you are going to allow it because you don't want to lose her and are aroused at her cheating.

 

These feelings are ok for him to have. If you don't agree or even want to understand his position quit posting in this thread.

 

Oh, so people have to agree to post here? Interesting.

 

you certainly don't agree with me, so why bother responding?

 

Oh, your rules only apply to others.....sorry.

[Dexter Morgan]

MrSmith,

 

You should talk to her. You never know... she may enjoy the fact that you are enjoying yourself more because you know she has animal instincts.

 

Perhaps you both need to have a more open relationship (then you wouldn't have to feel bad about invading her privacy).

 

I like it!!!

 

He should tell her that he knows that she is cheating....and that it turns him on. And also out of fairness, he thinks he should be allowed to go out and gratify himself with other women as she is doing with other men.

 

Obviously since she is a cheater, and he is turned on by it, she should have no problem with him going out and being with other women right?

 

 

i like it lost!!!

[Dexter Morgan]

Maybe deep down he wants to ask his wife if they can swing? Ever thought of that?

 

Well if he thought that, then he can come out and say it can't he?

 

if he did, then I'd tell him to go for it!!!

[2sure]

Google cuckhold and you will find your emotions, reactions and situation are not in anyway unique.

 

Its not for most people but it is not an uncommon thing for a man to enjoy watching his wife with other men. Its slightly, and I mean slightly, less common for the husband to not even want to be there.

 

So, whatever is good for you is good for you. I do warn you - of the couples I have known who were into this - some ended up with issues over it, the wife leaving for an OM.

 

Since you ARE married and she did this without your knowledge or consent - she may simply have liked the CHEATING. Either way, she did cheat. Even in an open marriage or a marriage like I described above - everyone was on board.

 

Tell your wife you know. Tell her why you looked in her email. If you are afraid to tell her that, you have bigger issues than it appears.

[ForumFool]

Hi Mr Smith.....I do not know what to say..I tend to be in agreement with Dexter...I can't figure out what you are looking for in here.....to share a sexy hot story?

 

I personally think if you are not just playing around in here you ought to seek therapy because....in time if this is alllll real....you may have an STD...you may find out she has been screwing other dudes for year and just moved it to the online scene..... hell she could be using you just for a house and your pay check......I would do as Dexter suggested and so what if you invaded her privacy..she invaded your marriage vows when she declared her vagina an amusement park for anyone willing to have a shot at it.

[LakesideDream]

Another thing you can google is "sperm competition". While it didn't work that way for me, I understand it often does.

 

I have no advice for you. When I found out of my ex's infidelity one of the things that bothered me most was the mental pictures (not real images thank gawd) of her sharing her body with her lover. It destroyed my desire.

[signedin2008]

Another thing you can google is "sperm competition". While it didn't work that way for me, I understand it often does.

 

I have no advice for you. When I found out of my ex's infidelity one of the things that bothered me most was the mental pictures (not real images thank gawd) of her sharing her body with her lover. It destroyed my desire.

 

But, yet, your MW sharing her body with her husband doesn't destroy your desire?

[In Like Flynn]

Just tell her you know and leave out your reaction.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Married 5 years + got no children X cheating = Annulment!

 

You heard it here first ladies and gents, why should he have to put up with anything she does, just because he loves her, she might just want to leave anyway's cause that's what cheating spouses do. set up their break out plan while keeping everything on stat quo.

 

Please.

[Spark1111]

Often, upon the discovery of an affair, the BS has a heightened sexual arousal response to the WS: It is called "reclaiming" similiar to staking one's territory, and generally a good sign that love is still apparent. Watch out for the other shoe dropping, though: Betrayal. That one curls you into a raging ball of pain for several years. Good Luck.

[lkjh]

This kind of sounds fake.

[Dexter Morgan]

so what if you invaded her privacy..she invaded your marriage vows when she declared her vagina an amusement park for anyone willing to have a shot at it.

 

LMFAO!!!! :lmao:

 

Oh my, that is priceless.

[lostsoulmate]

Oh, so people have to agree to post here? Interesting.

 

you certainly don't agree with me, so why bother responding?

 

Oh, your rules only apply to others.....sorry.

 

I meant try to keep an open mind. That's all.