confusedguy87 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 ok so here it goes. I've been with this girl for over 3 years. We used to live together until last august when she moved an hour away because I treated her pretty crappy. Anyway a month later she broke up with me because she was over our relationship, or so she said. After we broke up I was devastated and did everything to try to get her back until after a month or so she told me she had met someone which was a shock because her and I still hung out and she would always tell me that if I were to meet or hook up with another girl to stop talking to her. When she was lying to for month! So anyway I got pissed and just moved on and met someone else, nothing big just a girl to confide in. Well another month of drama goes by and she starts telling me she wants me back and that she realized the other guy was just friend material and that she loves me. So after another week she comes up one weekend, stays with me and we get back together. Now after that everything was great, I asked her to stop talking to other guy and she did. Then about 2 months later she tells me that he had called her and just wanted to be friends. Which was fine with me kind of until one weekend she was at my house she left her facebook open and I saw that the other guy told he loved her. I asked her why she kept it from me and she said cus she didnt want me to get paranoid cus it would ruin our relationship. Well I got paranoid told her she needed to not talk to him anymore and she did but by then my paranoia took over and I hassled her constantly. Well last weekend I got drunk and called her got in a fight and she dumped me again. The next morning she told me that she didnt want to end things but that my acting paranoid was hurting her because she couldn't deal with the accusations. She told me that she still wanted to be with me but that I needed to take time to fix myself and she needs to believe that I'm not gonna go crazy again. Well since we split she still calls me and text me constantly even drunk she tells me she loves me. Well she came up on valentine day and we basically acted like we were together. Then on Monday she came up to see her Doctor and stayed with me for the night even though she only lives an hour away and same thing we acted like we never split. Well tonight I went to check my email and she was still signed in. I saw a message she sent this guy with a pic of her blowing him a kiss. I called her and asked if anything was going on and she said she has no feelings for him. So now I'm confused what should I do? I mean we broke up cus of my trust issues so do I just say **** and move on or believe her stick around and possibly get screwed over again? And seriously what is she trying to pull?
Geishawhelk Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 She's a player. Dump her and go no contact. Complete, total 100%. Block her off and don't get in touch with her ever again. It's that simple. 'Paranoid' doesn't apply when she's blowing kisses to another guy....
Template Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Somethings churning underneath the surface. While I don't think we have a right to tell someone who they can or cannot be friends with, we do have the right to tell them it makes us uncomfortable with whom they do. This friendship that she has of hers is clearly getting in the way of the relationship, and she has to see that. If she's known him for years and years, and possibly before she's known you, then maybe you'd be confident that the flirting involved is harmless. However, this is someone she just met, you don't trust the guy, and your trust in your girl is waning. You gotta let you girl know "Hey, if you really want this relationship to work out, I am asking you to please not be his friend anymore. No talking, no contacting of any sort." If she does this for you, and you are still paranoid: all you bud! So be a man, and stick up for what YOU want and need in this relationship to work. If she doesn't want to give and take, then maybe it is time to call it a day.
Island Girl Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 She is playing him to get attention. She likes the fact that he adores her and laps up all of the compliments, etc. She is not innocent in these actions and does things to lead him on such as the picture in the e-mail. C'mon! She has a boyfriend so why is she blowing kisses to another man in CyberSpace? She also likes the attention she gets from you. She likes the relationship when it is working for her and wants you to remain devoted. It is convenient to blame you for being paranoid and take the focus off of what she is doing. You should dump her and go NC and find someone else. Hopefully the new relationship won't get so screwed up.
Author confusedguy87 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 well this "cyber kiss blowing" happened last night and we have been broken up for about a week so there is no reason I believe to get too angry. I'm just more trying to see if I should believe her seeing as it was my paranoia that killed us and she still tells me she wants me to come back but not until I fix myself. Its just the constant back and forth that is confusing me. My shrink told me to stick it out but give her a deadline cus it isn't fair for me to stay emotionally attached for a long time cus then I can't live my life and enjoy being single and that if it works out to get couples therapy. Any other ideas?
Geishawhelk Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Yes. Re-read my earlier post and go with it.
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