Hexaggrm Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Ive been dating this woman for about 3 months already, and ive spoken to a very good *love Doctor* or as i call *my homeboy's*, and ive asked him advice on the situation.. and others. They all seem to say the same thing and everything has the same pattern (she isnt ready to open her heart to you, shes afraid of giving u her full feelings since shes never met someone like you before. She just wants to make sure your as True as you say you are) it made perfect sence, untill i noticed that shes treating me more of a friend than as a guy she would be dating.. is this normal? is this her way of shadowing her true feelings? or what could this indicate.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 There's basically no useful information here to go on. How about giving some SPECIFIC examples of things she does/says to you? Situations...your reactions...if you guys have talked about her distance...etc.... Help me...help you.
collegekid491 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Agreed, thanks for keeping it brief, but its a little to brief. If you want a... first thought answer, maybe she's drifting away because you are overwhelming her? Are you usually the instigator of communication? Are you pressuring her physically? In the past I had a ex who went from open to closed off, went I asked her... well she was closed off so she wouldn't give me a answer :s. In the end it came out that she misunderstood something I said as a personal attack, and instead of asking me about it, she dwindled on it until it killed everything. Clearly it was a better option to bottle it up *eye roll* lol.
Author Hexaggrm Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 well for example, sometimes a girl would pass buy and her friends would be like * hey Rambo, take a look at her!* and she usually would Stand up and say something like *ooo, shes pretty, you should totally go for her* I would think shes kidding, but not sure.. another thing about her is that its hard to have a serious conversation since were always joking around with eachother, the only time we have serious conversations is when shes tired and needs a massage, or when she just wants to lay down next to me. Shes sometimes too playful with me, her parents are the same way -_-... Honestly, i cant really explain the emotions shes setting off, its more like a * i have to see it to tell you wth is going on*
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Not sure if she's pulling away out of disinterest, necessarily. My first thought was actually that maybe she's scared of getting hurt. Scared to fall in and then have things turn bad. Have you considered trying to get her to have a serious conversation about this? I've been burned after falling in completely...so maybe my opinion is slanted. But you won't know for sure unless you ask her.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Ooo, yeah - and as for the original question about how to get her to open up... with my BF, it took him being completely 100% open with ME. Taking a huge risk, diving in, professing his feelings. I haven't the slightest idea if it even occurred to him that he could have gotten hurt if maybe I didn't feel 100% the same way as him. But when I saw him crack it wide open like that, I felt safer to do the same. But honestly, it took me sitting down and writing him a letter to be able to do it. I'm not so good with in-person feelings sometimes.
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