lying boyfriend? or all misunderstandings?

[CharlotteGal]

Ok, so here's the deal. I have a boyfriend who I have been seeing for almost 3 years. I need some advice on what to do, although I know that I want to be with him, sometimes it seems as though everything is against me and doesn't want me with him.

 

We met over the summer before our sophomore year of college. He is a baseball player and went the the same college I did. The first year of our relationship was wonderful, we were together all the time, I went to all of his games to support him even though he didn't get to play (thats a different story). He decided after our sophomore year to transfer to a different school so he would be able to play baseball. The school he now goes to is about an hour away, so we usually only see eachother on weekends unless he comes one night during the week where he doesnt have practice or a game.

 

Well I knew things would change between us, you cant see someone everyday for a year and then only see them on weekends. He is my best friend but since he has transfered it seems as though all we do is fight. I have caught him lying to me many times. He has/had a best friend who's a girl, they have been friends since high school. Well she never liked me, since the day him and I started talking and I have never even met the girl. Well he feels the need to lie to me about her and I ALWAYS catch him, whether its seeing her when he has a game at her school, talking to her on facebook or text messaging/talking on the phone. It wouldnt be that big of a deal to me if he would just be honest with me about it, answer truthfully when I ask him about her or about talking to her.

 

He has also lied to me about other really ridiculous things, I caught him lying to me about who he wished a Happy Birthday to on facebook. I didnt even care I only asked because I saw him on my computer doing it and he totally lied about it. I ask him simple questions and he can never give me the truthful answer the first time, and usually it seems that he only lies when it involves other girls. I found out through one of his teammates on accident, that he had them give his phone number to a girl who is on the swim team at his school. When i confronted him about it he told me that it was a huge joke because of how "slutty and nasty" she is and that she doesnt have his phone number.

 

I love him, I dont want to lose him or break up with him but I dont feel like I can trust him. I have tried to talk with him about it, but it always turns into a fight, and we seems to fight all the time. It doesnt help that my mom doesnt care for him, she did at first but when she found out all the fighting we do she just doesnt think we are right for eachother. I need someone's advice who isnt a family member or close to the situation. Please Help!!!!!!

[Plato]

"I love him, I dont want to lose him or break up with him but I dont feel like I can trust him...."

 

you're going to get hurt girl...sorry!

[Island Girl]

it seems that he only lies when it involves other girls. I found out through one of his teammates on accident, that he had them give his phone number to a girl who is on the swim team at his school. When i confronted him about it he told me that it was a huge joke because of how "slutty and nasty" she is and that she doesnt have his phone number.

 

First - you are in college. Things happen by accident not on accident. You can't get on an accident - it isn't an object. Sorry that is my mother's pet peeve (she is an English teacher).

 

Second - you don't feel like you can trust him because you can't.

 

Third - if he is trying to play off this swimmer is "slutty and nasty"- he is lying. If she were he wouldn't have arranged for her to have his number and he did. He lied to you about all of that.

I can't tell you how many times a guy has tried this same tactic with one of my friends. They say the girl is gross when they are really thinking the opposite and usually when they are actively pursuing sleeping with her or, already have.