joel Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 any of you guys here met a lot of girls off plentyoffish-dating website or okcupid and found that none of them really wanted to meet up with you the 2nd time. we go for coffee at starbucks and chat for 1 hr or sometimes 1hr half depending on the girl, but after that first date none of them want to meet up with me agian to hang out-be it tennis, go for walk on beach...etc just to get to now one another better. for me i been on pof for like approx 3 -4 years now off and on and met approx total of 25-30 girls off pof. some i liked and was hot and others was more of a bigger girl, either way i still met up with them. why i guess to make friends and see what happens the thing is none of them i talk to anymore and afgter the first date meeting , they don;t want to hang out with me anymore -so no 2nd date. any guys experience this similar to me. do you find that meeting girls off the net is a good thing or just a waste now. b/c i am thinking now its a waste of time-since with my outcome. i think the reason could be b/c i also don't have a lot of friends, and i don't go out much, i jsut work and go home or just hang out with these 2 other guy friends who are also lacking in the girl and dating department. my hobbies are like watching movies off the net, walking, listening to music off the net and before just doing homework and surfing net.
2sure Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 joel - It sounds like you and your friends are lacking in social skills. No one has to be mind boggling interesting, super attractive , or wildly successful to date...but you do need social skills. For dating, friends, and professionally. Dont take it personally, Im sure you have many skills, just not this particular set. This is going to sound stupid at first but just check it out. In the states there is a group called Toast Masters. Basically you learn public speaking. Many many guys start with this, but just never tell anyone. It doesnt have so much to do with public speaking as social skills, humor, and confidence. This is not for losers. This is for successful men. Canada must have something similar. It can only benefit you.
Shnuggles Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 I have dabbled with net dating. Its an art form and its tricky. Did get one 12 month relationship out if however and was great fun (broke up because we didn't have many interests we could share). Sounds like the 1st date is the main problem. A simple fix is ask all the questions. No girl will ever complain about doing all the talking. Look interested and listen! Go to a book store or library and read some books on communication skills, dating and anything else that could help (cooking, looking good etc). These are surprisingly good if you find the write book\s. Don't like reading? Tough, do it anyway otherwise give up now and don't read the rest of the post. Go to a gym. Sounds weird but its great. Get a trainer to make you a routine and go at least 3 times a week. Talk to them about what you're after and what you can expect coming to a gym (look around first, big gyms are best I find). Young, old, girls and guys all go for whatever reason. Its a good way to look good and doesn't take much time out of your week. Don't worry if you're weak. Many are at the gym. Learn to at least cook some decent (healthy) meals. Veg, rice and some sauces. With web dating make sure your grammar and spelling are 100%. Get someone to help, use a spell checker or get a friend to help out. Smile in photos and look good. Good luck my friend.
blondesmiler Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 Plentyoffish is a free dating website, so you are more likely to get people who are not serious about finding someone or alot are probably just out of a relationship and thinking they want to find a replacement but when push comes to shove, they realise they do not. Your better off going on a paid website, as to pay a reasonalble amount shows a form of seriousness about it. However I would also say look for dates away from the net. And as for not meeting up a second time, I have the same issue with guys I go on dates with, I do not know why this happens but clearly for them something didn't click even if I thought we got on well. However better to get bumped before you put too much emotional energy and time into something that just isn't going to go anywhere.
Groovy Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I agree! Plenty off Fish is free and people may be looking to play the field, may have another relationship their already in, etc. Unfortunately most people look at your photo and decide to contact you based just on that regardless of whether common interests and many times read nothing you wrote. That's my experience with Match.com. I have had much better luck with Eharmony and Christian dating sites like Christianminglecom. Eharmony requires lengthy surveys and tries to match you only with people who meet criteria. Christianmingle I liked because I found I had some of my values in life matched with the other person. Go on a date expecting nothing but a good meal to fill your tummy. And don't get discouraged by one or two bad ones. If their annoying tune them out and people watch! A lot of people out there have issues and you can't take it personally. It sounds like after a few tries you gave up and sometimes you have to meet 10 people before you come across one you connect with. I would also recommend never doing anything you won't enjoy. If they want to go out to the ballet and you hate ballet don't say yes hoping she will like you. If you only do things you both enjoy up with a win-win situation regardless of how it all ends romantically. Best of luck!
Disillusioned Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 A site called datingsitesreviews dot com has a collection of forums which are loaded with horror stories of online dating (most by younger men who thought they could score quickie sex). The secret is, we never hear about all the abuse and lousy results re online dating, because the people who run the companies, know that their industry depends upon image. Imagine what would happen if they all came out and said "our 3% success rate beats our competitors' 2% success rate"? Can you say "bankruptcy"?
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