Juno Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 I'm in a bad way. I totally blew off all of my obligations today. No plans for leaving the house or my room for that matter. Tossed and turned all night long. Maybe slept 2 hours max. I know he's not seeing anyone else...yet, nor is he looking. I know because I checked the sites he frequents. Not a healthy behavior. Why has this pain manifested it's self in slow motion. I felt little when the day we broke up. Now almost two months later, I feel like I've been struck my a lighting bolt. I wonder if I ever cross his mind...in a longing way?
redmelon Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 I seriously doubt he's forgotten you. Quite impossible, I'd say. But for right now, you need to focus on yourself. Get up out of bed and do basic things. Set a goal for yourself every day, no matter how small. You have to do this for yourself, and you know you can, you've already proven that. I am pulling for you, but you need to pull YOURSELF up and out of this hole. Maybe go sit on your porch and feel the sun on your face and let it soak into your pores for a bit today. It can't hurt! Laying in your bed in a heap isn't helping you, it isn't making anything better, it isn't solving any of your problems. You are worth more than this...
wdskuk Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 RedMelon is right. You need to get yourself out of the house and do something with your friends or family or even set some goals for yourself. My ex girlfriend dumped me almost a month ago and I was in the same position as you. But I'm not going to let depression or anger take over me. Even today I still fell some what depressed from all that has happened. But I stayed strong and kept my self busy. If you can do the same and find your way out of this stage you will feel so much happier. Who care what he is doing. He will come to you when he wants to. He will figure out all the mistakes he has made and will eventually come back to you. Be happy and stay string for yourself
Author Juno Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Thanks. I will try to get out of bed today. I think my situation is only compounded by the fact that I was laid off from my job of 10 years, finances are a mess, had to file BK, have no health insurance, and no prospects for employment. Topping it all off, my bf of 1 year broke up with me. Surely you can see how finding a reason to get out of bed each day is a struggle. I was efffectively coping with my unemployment and finances, but when we broke up my world fell apart. I loved being with him, just hanging out in spike of everything else that was going on in my life. Now I have absolutely nothing. No reason in the world to get up each morning. I've even placed an ad on Craig's list for a platonic female workout buddy. Zero response. How depressing is that. I'm going back to sleep.
paddletennis Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Hey Juno, is he more important than you? Yeah, it hurts. You are human, and you feel. Believe it or not, that is a really good thing. To quote U2: "A heart that hurts is a heart that beats". Let the pain work its way through you. And feel it. The more you go into it, the more able you will be to get to the other side. You have a lot of things on your plate right now, and it's freezing you from moving forward. Concentrate on completing a couple of small tasks: get OUT OF BED and take a walk around the block. Get out of your head for awhile. Realize that YOU and only YOU are in control. You can't live each day wondering what he is doing. It does not matter. You are the only one that matters. Take back the control. And ask yourself this: What advice would you give a girlfriend if she were going through what you are gong through? Trust me, you will be fine. You will be fine.
MeMyself&I Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 When I feel this way I ask myself, is this going to change anything or make a difference to him or the situation? The only one you are hurting is yourself. All that being depressed and miserable does is make you miserable and unhealthy--not him. It won't make him come back. And actually if it gets back to him it just will probably make him feel reaffirmed in his decision. Be the woman he admired. Be the woman you can feel proud of. I've been broke up a month as of friday. This weekend was hard for me as I ran into him on Friday night. I made myself get out. Today I am at work and am glad that I am busy. It is very unfortunate that you lost your job--we need to find you some other interests to get you out of the house . Maybe you can use this time to pound the pavement for a new job--although I sympathize in this tough economy. Anyway, I guess the bottom line is remember you have friends and family that love you. It is natural to mourn a relationship but don't let it keep you down. Rejection makes us second-guess ourselves as a valuable person that is worthy of being loved. YOU ARE WORTHY!! I found this quote I really love: "Don't Borrow Someone else's spectacles to view your self worth!" Don't let how you feel he sees you "not worthy of his love" define who you are. We are here for you. Most of us have been there in some way. Get up and do something. I'll be following your thread and rooting for you!
openbook08 Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Now I have absolutely nothing. No reason in the world to get up each morning. you have one very good reason to get up each morning : JUNO you ARE going to get through this, youre gonna fight back. you will win this war. fight it. someone out there is missing your smile because you wont get out of bed. someone is wondering 'where is juno? havent heard from her in a while?' .... take it slowly. there is no timeframe. do one thing tomorrow that makes YOU smile. even if its poppin to the shop gettin yourself a tub of ben&jerrys & goin straight back to bed if that cookie dough makes you smile... YOU are number 1 now. all that love kindness & energy that you poured on him is all for YOU now. i bet you wish someone would love you like you loved him. well, someone can and will if you let them. YOU will. and trust me the feelin of empowerment & strength that youll feel when even the smallest glimmer of 'im ok' breaks through will make all this worth it. so whats it gonna be??
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