in a daze Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 my story is posted here. i have read gjs other post and theyreally hit home. my problem now is that my wife has her space( separated for 2+ weeks) and its now starting to affect my 7 yo daughter. the problem is, for the past 2 years, my wife put herself last, she took care of our family and some rough situations. she admiitedly never " really " told me how this was affecting her. i, not wanting to " fix" what i dint perceive to be broken, never realised how she was truly feeling. i am working very hard at that now( hopefully it wont be too late). i love my wife more than anything. she has been taking antidepressants for the past 8 yrs and thus lives her life " day by day", which i understand. i dont think she realises how this is and will affect ourdaughter( if things dont work out between us), and i really cant say too much as i have been working on giving her space. she seems to believe that things will be ok, and i understand why she has that thought process living day by day. any suggestions on what i can do to help her realise the true importance of keeping a family together and at least trying to make things work. like i said i cant inundate her because at this point i would be cowding her i do believe she needs to clear her head. i just dont want her to give up too early. thanks for any input
suzanne2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I am a firm believer in giving them what they ask for. If she wants space then give her space, but let her know that you still love her and are available to talk when she is ready. Then start taking care of you and your daughter. When she is ready she will approach you to talk about the situation. Let her talk, do not try to rationalize or justify your position. Just let her talk and agree with everything that she says. But until then, you need to take care of you. Get some individual counseling, start excercising, go for long walks. Stay strong. Keep posting.
Author in a daze Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 I am a firm believer in giving them what they ask for. If she wants space then give her space, but let her know that you still love her and are available to talk when she is ready. Then start taking care of you and your daughter. When she is ready she will approach you to talk about the situation. Let her talk, do not try to rationalize or justify your position. Just let her talk and agree with everything that she says. But until then, you need to take care of you. Get some individual counseling, start excercising, go for long walks. Stay strong. Keep posting. its good to here it from somebody else. we see the couselor today and we will see how it goes. i still feel that by giving too much space, that the problem will worsen, but everyone tells me differently. hopefully she will get her meds figured out soon, maybe that will help, it certainly cant hurt
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