starrynight Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 ...so I was woken up tonight at 2am, after going to bed around 10:30 or so... ...to be emoted at by my wife about something she didn't like that I did a week ago when we had a fight and, imho, both had wrongs. But to me, even if I WAS 100% wrong and she 100% right, what right does she have to wake me up to yell at me about something from near a week ago? To add to that, every fight we've had in the last couple weeks (and there have been a few) have involved me talking about my wrongs in the face of her not. In the face of her saying she doesn't even think she did ANYthing wrong some of those times. She has not admitted doing one thing that could be improved upon in these past couple weeks, and has basically said everything is my fault. Now, I've got my share of problems. I'm human as anyone, maybe even a bit more. But we both certainly could have done things to improve in each situation, and in some of those situations, I think she was more right, in some... me. Ultimately I don't even care about right and wrong. I just want to find what each of us feels, what each of our needs are, and find meeting places in between. But she really cares about comparing, and one person being right and one wrong, and the right one being her. She demands apologies and rarely gives.... I just don't know what to do. I know women can be emotional and a bit into their feelings, but this is beyond anything I've ever run into. I want very much for us to be able to share what we like and don't like about each other, to improve for ourselves and for each other... but I'm really feeling near a loss here. Anyone else run into similar feelings? What did you do? What do you think about that now?
Island Girl Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 I feel for you. Your wife is really unhappy and really not in a place of loving or respecting you. Possibly she feels you don't respect or appreciate her and that's where this is coming from I don't know. But she is not handling her emotions appropriately as you well know so there is MORE going on. That is a definite. I'd say get into counseling ASAP and try to get to the root of this but also so that you can have a 3rd party structure some rules to help while this is being worked on. Certainly if you keep get a wake up fight at 2am you are going to become more angry and bitter yourself and your relationship will just continue to implode.
Heroic Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 The thing that strikes me as strange is why 2 am...... Me thinks, someone is stroking the flames of discontent. If it were me I would be checking my wifes e-mail, IM logs and texts to see who she is talking to at 2 am.
Island Girl Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 The thing that strikes me as strange is why 2 am...... Me thinks, someone is stroking the flames of discontent. If it were me I would be checking my wifes e-mail, IM logs and texts to see who she is talking to at 2 am. She doesn't necessarily have to be talking to someone at 2am. In fact, if she were talking to someone she'd be venting. In this case it more than likely she was up going over and over things that are making her hurt and angry - like whatever it was she was angry about from last week. It happens.
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