bunk2406 Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 (I also posted this in another place because I wasn't sure where it fit) So, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 9 months. We've had some issues but it's life. I'm almost positive he is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life...I can't imagine myself without him. Well here's the deal. Ever since day 1 we have been in a long-distance relationship...hard I know. Well he has applied at a school in the same town I am currently in and and there has been talk about getting an apartment together for next semester. I understand that the divorce rate is much higher in people who live together before they are married, but I was wondering what people thought and if it would be the same ordeal if we have never really "been" together for long periods of time. I had knee surgery last winter and he took care of me for the 6 weeks I was on crutches and we were together the entire time. We had a couple small arguments but nothing major. I was just wanting opinions on how to go about this...ideas?
norajane Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 If you've always been long distance and never lived in the same town, I'd suggest not moving in together. It's better for him to NOT be dependent on you for everything while he establishes himself in a new city. He needs to develop his own friends (not just your friends), his own activities and social life, as well as having his own space. Also, having been long distance for so long, it's really easy to kill romance when you then transition immediately to living together. It's just too much togetherness, and it's very easy to take each other for granted. There's plenty of time to move in together later. Be independent first.
Island Girl Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 I agree with norajane If you have always been long distance it would be a very bad move to just jump in living together. You were together 6 weeks at one time. That is close to nothing. You still have a lot to really learn about each others habits and how to work around them. Just take the next step of living near each other and being together in spurts but also having your own places to retreat to when you need time.
Author bunk2406 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Thank you both! I kind of knew that's what needed to happen, but when you love someone so much and have the opportunity to live with them its kind of tempting you know? I do agree that it would be better for the both of us..thank you!
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