Do I tell him I can't be friends?

[ItsMe]

He broke up with me & its been 2 weeks, I guess my emotions are still a bit haywire-Had a fantastic week but now at a low, but this has been bugging me everyday.

He said he wants to remain friends & I said I wanted to too (also said i'd need space for a bit first though), but everyday afterwards i've realised I don't know how to be his friend, we were once friends but it was always that "Hope this turns into more" friendship.

Everyday i've been wondering if he just said that to "soften the blow" or whether he genuinly does want to? Also I don't know if I now want to be his friend (Well atm everypart of me does but only so he is in my life) =s. I know i'll have to be civil we have hobbies in common, live close, mutual friends ETC. But its so hard for me to reach this point of cutting him out my life that I feel I need to tell him this because I feel like i'm pressurised to eventually become his friend & I don't want him to think that I will be.

 

Basically do I tell him I can't be his friend? Even if only for my own benfit of releiving the pressure im feeling is on me (even though he's not putting any on me [NC anyway] but I just do feel like there is), he did what was best for him so I should do what is best for me ATM right?

:S

[EmperorR]

You owe him nothing, let me get this stragiht he dumped you but he wants to be friends, um no why should you be downgraded and just accept it?

 

Trust me there is tons of great people in this world who you can be friends with who have the same things in common etc. and without the constant feeling of having your heart crushed and smashed and reminded of the pain every time you talk to him.

 

Put yourself first, if you really really want to be friends later when your healed then by all means go ahead.

 

I tried the friends crap and I know alot of people on this forum did as well and let me tell you it does not work until way way way after, and by then you won't want to be their friends anyways.

[ItsMe]

Ok, i'm not going to be friends with him, you're right, I do owe him nothing. Thanks (:

But I will have to see him, alot. & I'll deal with that, but do I just continue to ignore him? Or do I tell him we're not going to be friends?

I should probably figure that one out for myself? But I don't trust my own advice atm.

If I tell him I think i'll feel relief that its officially over & i'll be able to move on. Also this means he won't try & contact me, because if he did i'd probably cave.

I think I just answered my own quesion right there, advice is always nice though (:

[stovepipe]

don't do it. It doesn't work...I tried for a month. I was actually able to somewhat be friends..nothing like we were before. She actually is the one that said we couldn't be friends. She said we lost our connection...which is true. In the begining I told her I didn't want to be her friend, I said it was too hard...she cried and whined and basically just wanted me to be around until she found someone she could replace me with...which happened and basically broke my heart all over again. I'm going on one week of NC so far. She tried texting me friday about a doctors appt that I had, I ignored all 4 of them. Then she was on AIM, she only talked to me on AIM...she never IM'd me but I removed her from my buddy list so I didn't see her anymore. Its not easy, I see her everyday at work, but I've changed my schedule around so I don't take breaks with her anymore or take my lunch with her. It sucks because I'm also not doing things with my other friends at work but I needed to do it for myself.

 

I've made great friends with ex's I had before...I hope one day her and I can reconnect on that level but for right now I just need to stay away until I'm ready.