confusedgal77 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I know that everything I am doing is wrong, but I can't help how my heart feels. I have been married for 13 years to a man who is normally wonderful. He is BiPolar and refuses meds so I always get the verbal abuse. 5 years ago I met this wonderful man who I fell in love with. I left my husband and lived with the other man, I endedd up getting pregnant with the OM and in my fourth month of pregnancy I went back to my husband because of all the guilt. The OM was shocked by that decision and wass terribly hurt. Our child is now 4 and he has since remarried. I decided to keep our child away about 2 years ago because I was selfish and couldn't deal with the hurt. About 4 months ago the OM reached out to me because he wants to be a part of my life and our sons. We have been having an affair ever since we saw each other. My Husband and I have been very rocky over the past few years becuase I fell put of love with him a long time ago. I want to be with the OM but he is still married. Is this something worth continuing or should I just move on?
Reggie Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I think you would be doing your husband a big favor by telling him and moving on. He deserves better than a serial cheater.
Geishawhelk Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Confused, I hate to tell you, but this - but I can't help how my heart feels. Is not true. You can help it, because all you have to decide is what's right for you and your husband, and your child. Right now, you're trying to have your cake and eat it. The muddle in your brain is an unfair one to all concerned. You know exactly what you want. You just don't know how to go about getting it. I find it deplorable that your OM and you are back to sleeping together - after he got married. This is nothing short of despicable. The lies, deceit and lack of self-control are beyond words, and I think you should both be ashamed of yourselves - you for having done this to your H twice now, and him, for cheating on his wife into such a short marriage. "Reaching out" is a pile of cr*ap. neither of you could face life being faithful, and so you got together again, as cheating fruck-buddies. Reaching out to you. That's rich. Just get a divorce and advise your OM to do the same, but STOP sleeping with him and tell him - either he leaves his wife, or he just has contact for your child's sake. Nothing else. Does his wife know about this child? Lordy, what a mess you've made!
lostsoulmate Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I know that everything I am doing is wrong, but I can't help how my heart feels. I have been married for 13 years to a man who is normally wonderful. He is BiPolar and refuses meds so I always get the verbal abuse. 5 years ago I met this wonderful man who I fell in love with. I left my husband and lived with the other man, I endedd up getting pregnant with the OM and in my fourth month of pregnancy I went back to my husband because of all the guilt. The OM was shocked by that decision and wass terribly hurt. Our child is now 4 and he has since remarried. I decided to keep our child away about 2 years ago because I was selfish and couldn't deal with the hurt. About 4 months ago the OM reached out to me because he wants to be a part of my life and our sons. We have been having an affair ever since we saw each other. My Husband and I have been very rocky over the past few years becuase I fell put of love with him a long time ago. I want to be with the OM but he is still married. Is this something worth continuing or should I just move on? Only you can answer this question. Look deep down inside yourself. I think you know the answer already, make a plan and stick to it. Good luck. (The child does deserve to know his real father!)
carhill Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Yikes Get yourself some professional psychological help. I perceive your OP like you're a pinball being bounced (by your own psychology) around without discernible direction.
Trimmer Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I have been married for 13 years to a man who is normally wonderful. He is BiPolar and refuses meds so I always get the verbal abuse. Is he normally wonderful, or do you always get the verbal abuse, those don't sound consistent. 5 years ago I met this wonderful man who I fell in love with. I left my husband and lived with the other man, I endedd up getting pregnant with the OM and in my fourth month of pregnancy I went back to my husband because of all the guilt. The OM was shocked by that decision and wass terribly hurt. Our child is now 4 and he has since remarried. I decided to keep our child away about 2 years ago because I was selfish and couldn't deal with the hurt. About 4 months ago the OM reached out to me because he wants to be a part of my life and our sons. So, this other "wonderful man" is now cheating on his wife? Does he have any children with her, by any chance? We have been having an affair ever since we saw each other. My Husband and I have been very rocky over the past few years becuase I fell put of love with him a long time ago. I want to be with the OM but he is still married. Is this something worth continuing or should I just move on? What are you questioning continuing: your marriage, the affair, or both? And what would moving on look like: ending the affair, ending the marriage, or both? +1 on the professional help suggestion.
Dexter Morgan Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I know that everything I am doing is wrong, but I can't help how my heart feels. I have been married for 13 years to a man who is normally wonderful. He is BiPolar and refuses meds so I always get the verbal abuse. 5 years ago I met this wonderful man who I fell in love with. I left my husband and lived with the other man, I endedd up getting pregnant with the OM and in my fourth month of pregnancy I went back to my husband because of all the guilt. uh.....what? You went back AFTER you got pregnant by this other man? And your husband took you back??? The OM was shocked by that decision and wass terribly hurt. Our child is now 4 and he has since remarried. I decided to keep our child away about 2 years ago because I was selfish and couldn't deal with the hurt. About 4 months ago the OM reached out to me because he wants to be a part of my life and our sons. He can be part of his child's life without being a part of yours. Now he is disrespecting his current wife, and if you are entertaining the idea of being in the OM's life, then you shouldn't have gone back to your husband in the first place. Does your husband know the child is the OM's? We have been having an affair ever since we saw each other. My Husband and I have been very rocky over the past few years becuase I fell put of love with him a long time ago. Then why did you go back to him and not get a divorce? I want to be with the OM but he is still married. Is this something worth continuing or should I just move on? ya sure, continue on. he is a cheater, you are a cheater....you'd make a perfect match. Then years down the road when things get stale, you can cheat on each other. Ya, he remarried and is having an affair....what a catch. And you went back to your husband when you should have gotten a divorce and set him free when you had the chance.....another great catch. Just divorce your husband, have the OM divorce his wife, and do what you want while saving your husband and his wife. They deserve better.
pelicanpreacher Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Since the child has only known your husband as his father since he was born what will be the course you take upon divorce regarding child support and the continuity of their relationship? Also, you mentioned that your OM got remarried after you left him so was he divorced or still married when you engaged in an affair with him 5 years ago?
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 You are so frigging selfish. You do nothing but betray people. First your husband, then the other man, now your child. You "can't help it" because you have no conscience. You don't care who you hurt. The problem is, you want to think of yourself as a good person. Give it up. You're not. You're a serial cheater who leaves nothing but pain and destruction in her wake. Leave your husband and the other man (he's married). And then live however you want, (just hopefully with no relationship, just have sex with people, as you are not fit to be in one) You do anyways.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 My Husband and I have been very rocky over the past few years becuase I fell put of love with him a long time ago. I want to be with the OM but he is still married. Is this something worth continuing or should I just move on? It would probably make things a lot easier for you... if you just left your husband. You don't love him, and your just wasting both your lives. The OM is married... and I hate to be all doom and gloom, but if I were him... I would not trust you for anything. I would not be interested in any kind of relationship with you that required commitment.
stillafool Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 You are so frigging selfish. You do nothing but betray people. First your husband, then the other man, now your child. You "can't help it" because you have no conscience. You don't care who you hurt. The problem is, you want to think of yourself as a good person. Give it up. You're not. You're a serial cheater who leaves nothing but pain and destruction in her wake. Leave your husband and the other man (he's married). And then live however you want, (just hopefully with no relationship, just have sex with people, as you are not fit to be in one) You do anyways. Ditto!!!!:sick:
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 The people have spoken! lol. I dont need to say much!
LostLamb Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Leave him. You didn't love him 5 years ago and you don't love him now. It is time to start cleaning up the mess you have made!
ForumFool Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 wow....let me understand this....you were married....left hubby and LIVED with the OM ...you got knocked up and he did not want to marry you? Did he ask? So to do hubby a favor and out of pity (as you said guilt)...you went back to hubby who took you back? Right? Being vindictive to the OM you didn't let him see his own child for 2 years....now bored with hubby again....you want OM ..NOW MM who wants to see his child and get a free piece now and then too behind his wife's back? You what.....you want us to say yeah go at it? I would advise you to give your child to hubby total custody and go get some therapy..I am sorry hubby was somewhat abusive to you when he didn't take meds....but that doesn't mean you get to run amok like a s*&t..ruining hubby's life....your childs.....the M-OM's and his wife and maybe other kids....Oh and maybe other mistresses.... You didn't do hubby any favors
flash582 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Hey, if you don't have the guts to do the right thing why don't you just give the people on here your husband's e-mail so they can tell him what a doormat he's being. 1. You don't love your husband. Obviously he's just your meal ticket 2. You don't love yourself either .... time to get to the shrink.
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