mega19 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Hi I need some advice on how to break up with my boyfriend. We started dating about 3months ago and he has already said "I love you" which bothers me because we haven't been dating a long time, I have tried not to say it he whines and says what you don't love me too. He is pretty sensitive for a guy and I know he will be really upset when we do break up. He is very moody and has a short temper. He is also very needy for a guy he is more needy then some of my friends who I think can be a little too dependent on other people. He gets upset if he texts me and I don't answer within 5mins, it's little things like this all day every day that we bicker about. In all honesty I am just not happy. Also his sister is one of my roommates, she knows how he can be sometimes so I think she will understand if I explain it to her, but it still makes things complicated. I am just not so sure how to go about this I know this is going to really hurt him but I don't think he is going to understand....What should I do?
wowIlose Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 What can you do? Explain to him how you feel and end it. What is the alternative? Dragging it out? Odds are hes going to get even more needy to get you back that is why being very blunt is important. You don't have to be mean about this either but just tell him it wouldn't be fair to him if you went on pretending. Good luck.
IcemanJB Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 PLEASE, just tell him exactly what you've told us. I hate it when girls beat around the bush regarding stuff like this (yes, guys do it too). Considering it sounds like you definitely want out, the best thing to do is be completely straight up honest with him. Especially the part about being unhappy. No matter what you're going to hurt him; but you two both took a risk of that happening when you started dating! If he self-destructs and starts begging when you break up, you know you've made the right decision.
BCCA Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I think sometimes we try and find a magic way to end things so that no one is going to be upset. It's irrational thought at best, it just doesnt work that way. In the history of breaking up, 99.9% of the time, one person is going to want out, and the other person isnt. No matter how you say it, he's going to be hurt and upset. You cant control that. But what you can control is what you say and how you act, which believe it or not, will go a long way. People usually dont remain freinds after a breakup, because the dumper usually uses some lame excuse regarding family, the wrong time, or some other stuff going on in their life, and people can see right through that. Now, not only have you been dumped, but lied to. Just be 100% honest and upfront. Youre not interested, its not going to work out, and you're done for good. No chances for later, nothing anyone can say or do, its over. He may push you for some sort of hanging out, 'friendship', but you just have to say no and hold your ground. And then, just leave him alone, for good. It doesnt sound like this will be a problem, but you should never turn to him for companionship of any kind. Being friends is unrealistic, and will only cause problems. Just do it. Dont wait another day, or even minute.
Author mega19 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 I just want to say thanks for the advice I broke up with him last night. I know I hurt him alot and there was no avoiding that but at least he knows the truth and we resolved that at some point maybe we can be friends.
Geishawhelk Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Help him now, by going NO CONTACT. Don't ever call him to see how he's doing, what he's doing, to catch up - nothing. Don't contact him unless his hair's on fire. Block off any attempt for him to get in touch with you, too. Any contact between you, will both prolong the agony for him, and give him false hope. let him be, and let him heal. Without you around to impede that.
IcemanJB Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 As usual, I agree with Geisha. Please do not contact him. This is coming from someone whose ex contacted him a lot after the breakup. I know she was upset with me when I told her I wanted NC, so your best bet is to just start it with him NOW so he can heal.
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