Juno Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Making through the weekend has brought me absolutely no relief for my pain. Can't understand how someone who claimed to love me can turn it off like a flip of a switch. He knows I'm hurting, but you would think he was should some concern as a friend....minimally. Driving about, walking about, typing this post tears streaming down my face. When will it subside? I'm hurting and at a complete lost....tis all.
DSM-IV Tom Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It won't subside for many, many months, and I strongly advise you see a psychologist to talk about this. I know I sure am soon.
a_f_w Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It won't subside for many, many months, and I strongly advise you see a psychologist to talk about this. I know I sure am soon. You might be surprised OP. I thought it would never subside, but after about 3 weeks I started having good days, with increasing frequency, and then it turned into a good week with a couple of bad days, and then for the last two weeks I've been damn good! The road to recovery is going to be different for everyone, and I am lucky that I was able to move myself in the right directions. Hopefully you know yourself well enough to do the same.
wowIlose Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 As mentioned, the road to recovery is different for everyone. Take comfort in the fact your not alone. Keep telling yourself that you can and will get over it - you will start having good days, you may have bad days too... it may seem like a roller coaster of ups and downs but eventually the pain will subside and you will move on. Meanwhile, do something positive for yourself, it may not do much but even 30 minutes for yourself a day will make you feel better and should help you heal quicker. good luck.
IcemanJB Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It will take awhile. The first 3 weeks after my breakup I was a wreck. I hardly talked to my roommates, didn't feel like answering the phone, couldn't stop thinking about her, etc etc. Then I had a really good day. Then a couple weeks later a few good days in a row. Now I've only had maybe one bad day in the past month. Of course I still think about her a lot, but it doesn't hurt much at all anymore. You just have to hang in there, and let all the thoughts and feelings run their course. You'll be back to yourself eventually.
Tha_Ginga Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It is true that breaking up is one of the worst pains you can go through as a human. My sister describes it as like mourning over the death of someone close to you. But as mentioned, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone-and that you will get better. I found it good to get out and get busy. I reconnected with friends and started going out-at first it was so hard because all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and disappear-but try it...your friends will help take your mind off your ex, and they will put a smile on your face. They can take you out on a good night out and will help cheer you up a bit-they care for you!!! One thing I've learned is that when we break up with someone, we only focus on all the good memories of someone-in a sort of idolising way...try and focus on their bad points, because lets face it none of us are perfect! I wish you all the best with healing your broken heart...it is one of the hardest things to do but you can do it!
Author Juno Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 .....is to talk to him. I would feel so much better if he would just talk to me...as a friend. He screens my calls, won't return phone messages, won't reply to text messages or emails. He is giving me the "no contact" treatment in a major way. It is driving me out of my mind. We had such great chemistry, and it is not just in my head. He wrote poetry about me and the times we shared. He wanted to spend endless days and nights with me...never being apart unless it was for work or family obligation. I am afraid I will never be the same. Never allowing myself to love or trust anyone. I embraced and accepted him when so many others rejected him. Not allowing themselves to get to know him. I did and now I am sorry I ever met him. Each day is a struggle. I can not trust myself...I can not. The wave of sadness is so overwhelming. It has not been weeks, but almost two months. Has not become easier, only harder. I find no joy in anything or anyone. I have not smiled or laughed in some time. I only cry, shake, and sleep. In between I find the strenght to post here. I'm soooo sad.
Knight_Ctrl Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 .....is to talk to him. I would feel so much better if he would just talk to me...as a friend. He screens my calls, won't return phone messages, won't reply to text messages or emails. He is giving me the "no contact" treatment in a major way. It is driving me out of my mind. We had such great chemistry, and it is not just in my head. He wrote poetry about me and the times we shared. He wanted to spend endless days and nights with me...never being apart unless it was for work or family obligation. I am afraid I will never be the same. Never allowing myself to love or trust anyone. I embraced and accepted him when so many others rejected him. Not allowing themselves to get to know him. I did and now I am sorry I ever met him. Each day is a struggle. I can not trust myself...I can not. The wave of sadness is so overwhelming. It has not been weeks, but almost two months. Has not become easier, only harder. I find no joy in anything or anyone. I have not smiled or laughed in some time. I only cry, shake, and sleep. In between I find the strenght to post here. I'm soooo sad. Have you considered that maybe he is hurting too, and doesnt WANT to talk to you because it may be painful for him as well? I would stop trying to get a hold of him. This will give you time to heal and him time to either wonder why you stopped trying or time for him to heal as well.
Author Juno Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Have you considered that maybe he is hurting too, and doesnt WANT to talk to you because it may be painful for him as well? I would stop trying to get a hold of him. This will give you time to heal and him time to either wonder why you stopped trying or time for him to heal as well. I'm sure you are right. I can usually go two weeks without trying to contact him, then like clockwork, two weeks and one day I get the overwhelming urge/need to contact him. I never wanted it to work out with someone the way I want it to work out with him. I can only hope he is feeling as much pain as I am...atleast that way I would know he cares.
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