kinkasaurus-rex Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 hey all. Last night, my husband and I were watching television. It was rock of love bus with brett michaels, the mudbowl. for those of you not familiar, it's just a bunch of hot, not so smart girls running around getting dirty and half naked. I love the show and it is something my husband and I watch together. anyway, half way thru, he turns to me and says, "you know what would be sweet? If I could get you and my girlfriend involved in a threesome." I mean, sh*t, I am just getting over finding out he has a girlfriend in the first place and now I have to reminded of his cheating while trying to enjoy my crappy tv? I left the room and sent him an email stating: Don't you get it? I am handling this the best way I know how and you mentioning me involved in a sexual fantasy with your girlfriend not only grosses me out but it hurts my feelings. everytime you bring her name up, I am reminded of what the two of you did to me and are STILL doing. I DON"T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. It's cruel and insensitive. Then, I suggest we give her a call and let her know exactly what I happen to be doing, see how much she appreciates it. I mean, why does he think it's okay that I have to hear her friggin name every day? I don't want to hear crap about her or her well being or his stupid fantasy. I have had enough. They didn't consider my feelings when they started this affair, eh? Then, I said, "Hey, you wanna know what my fantasy is? Two guys that aren't YOU!" He's all like, "That's not fair. My fantasy includes you." Well, we're all different. I went to bed with a smile on my face. I don't actually have too many fantasies that don't include him, but he doesn't need to know that.
carhill Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 As a dementia-carer, I know the sacrifices which have to be made. I advise you to work on an exit strategy for when you're stronger emotionally. My sympathies during this time. Given your H's nonchalance about this relationship issue, I doubt that MC, even if affordable, would help. I do know that some men, when they think they "have" a woman, will play these mind games to keep the woman's emotions engaged, primarily jealousy. He, often incorrectly, surmises she'll always come back, merely by him switching back to his smooth-talking, romantic self which hooked her in the first place. Clear sign of immaturity, IMO. My advice is to see things for how they actually are, plan for YOUR future, and take care of dad the best you can. My mom talks to the walls now in a locked facility, so those days are over for me. Savor what is left.
quankanne Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 "oh, honey, I've got a fantasy about me and you and another person, too! It's a big burly ex-convict who's been in the big house for 20 something years and is looking for a sweet piece of *ss. He comes to our house, I start dancing for the both of you, all sexy like, and you're both getting really hot. And as I start shimmying out of my demi-cup bra and thong, he reaches over, grabs you and starts giving you the kind of loving you could only dream of ..." :laugh: KR, some people are just thick-pated. Your guy is one of them, unfortunately. hugs, q
Dexter Morgan Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 my god, you should have slapped the piss out of him for that!!! Or you should have told him, no, I want a 3some with you and another man!!! Oh, bet that would piss him off.
MichelleS1983 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Rather than provide a snarky comeback which means nothing in the scheme of things, I guess my question is, why is this dirt bag still in the house? Do you have an open marriage? That's the only way I could justify why you'd allow this level of disrespect shown toward you.
Geishawhelk Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Someone else posted a wonderful comment once: I don't remember the exact circumstances, so I'm making some of it up, but the bit in italics is the best - and fairly well-remembered - bit... "He wouldn't leave. Inspite of my telling him I never wanted to see him again, he wouldn't go. He either didn't take me seriously, or was just acting like the jerk he is, for the hell of it, because he thought he could.... So, I'm sitting in the armchair watching TV with him in the room. He makes some stupid, inane, insensitive and really, really brainless comment. I sit and seethe for a few seconds. Then I respond: "You know, sometimes I just have to fight the urge to get up in the night, and stab you whilst you're asleep. I lie awake for ages, just willing myself to stay in bed, instead of going to the kitchen and grabbing a knife. Last night, I even found myself standing there, going through the knife drawer. I came that close...." And I just looked at him, with a serious look on my face, to show him I meant it, then went back to watching the TV. He said something to me, but I ignored him. He spent that night, sleeping in the locked car. The next day, he packed his bags and left." Try that.
Reggie Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 You are married to someone with very limited intellectual abilities and no maturity. Must be a nightmare. You sound like you could do a lot better. You mayhave no idea how god a relationship with a non-child could be. I think you should exit,asap.
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