How and when does one know if you and your partner are not meant to be together?

[djdiablo]

From past relationships, what signs have you SEEN or IGNORED that told you that the relationship you are in is on its way to disaster?

 

I need to know if I am heading towards a wall once I try to get back with my gf after a week-long break... She is 21 this year. She is not experienced. I am 4 years older. I don't want to hold her or myself back... But I do love her and she does love me.

[gwynieatpain]

From past relationships, what signs have you SEEN or IGNORED that told you that the relationship you are in is on its way to disaster?

 

I need to know if I am heading towards a wall once I try to get back with my gf after a week-long break... She is 21 this year. She is not experienced. I am 4 years older. I don't want to hold her or myself back... But I do love her and she does love me.

 

When you are in love with someone, you tend to IGNORE the signs you should have SEEN!

 

Just follow your heart!

[Trialbyfire]

If you're constantly questioning your relationship, in that the other person isn't treating you right or in the way that you need, this is a sign that things aren't going to last.

 

You can also kill a relationship by over-analysis. In your situation, I think it the former, over the latter.

[Geishawhelk]

dj, if things were cool between you and your girlfriend, you wouldn't be posting here so often to ask why does she... what does she.... how does she... why doesn't she.... and so on.

I swear, you've had more conflicts and issues with this GF than anybody has a right to have in a lifetime.....

 

She's immature, demanding, self-contradictory and hard work.

 

Do you want to keep putting this much hard work, or more, into this?

And for how long, exactly?

 

Just because you 'love' someone, it doesn't necessarily make you right for each other.

 

Questions perhaps you'd like to think about and ask yourself.

 

 

Is it worth it?

[movingonandon]

If you're constantly questioning your relationship, in that the other person isn't treating you right or in the way that you need, this is a sign that things aren't going to last.

 

You can also kill a relationship by over-analysis. In your situation, I think it the former, over the latter.

 

 

Strongly disagree --> questioning is the first step towards self-awareness. Not questioning is conducive to making rash decisions founded in nothing but vagua feelings (i.e. what girls do ).

 

A basic example: if you're a guy, after some time, you *inevitably* question yourself "I don't think I'm actually attracted to this woman (never was [rarely], or am not anymore [most common])". If you don't consider the source and implications of this thought, you may break up (and delusionally believe that it was "The right thing to do"). If you do, you will realise that it is ri-di-cu-lous and will understand that you will go through a similar cycle even if you hook up with Megan Fox.

 

The same process of questioning applies to any other aspect of the relationship. "Is this behavior (mine or her/his) indicative of such and such, or such and such?", "If so, what are the implications?".

 

As for more general questioning - you can spend your entire life questioning if you're really in love with someone, only to realize that you've been happy all along... (i.e. whether or not you question is not a credible indicator of anything)

[Geishawhelk]

moving, have you seen how many threads dj has posted about this one girl?

It's a nightmare!!

[Miss Ting]

For the simple fact that your questioning it, it probably means it's headed in that direction. People tend to only ponder these things when there's already doubt and problems brewing. When you're happy, you have better things to think about.

[livinlovin]

Moving,

 

So if you think that questioning is a natural part of a relationship, how do you know when your "questioning" is founded and when its ridiculous?