Tha_Ginga Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Heya everyone! This is my first time posting on these boards (so be nice ) and I'm looking forward to helping as much as I can and hopefully getting as much help as possible! Ok basically this is my story... I met this amazing girl when we were at college. We fell head over heals for each other and we were together for two years. Everyone said that we were made for each other and that they could see us going the distance. During the last 6 months of our relationship, she took a job that worked 2-10PM Mon-Fri so we barely got to see each other as I was working 9-5. This put a strain on our relationship as we never got to spend much time together. As well as this, we both felt that the little time we had together at the weekends should be spent together and as a result we never went out with friends or anything. She then decided to move into a houseboat that was quite frankly, delapidated and in a poor state. I couldn't see how we could live there but she could-"just to save money". It hurt a lot because she spoke about it as an "I" and not as "We". We started arguing a lot and things seemed to be breaking down. I began to drink quite a bit and arguments just kept coming and coming. On New Years Day she sat me down and said that she wasn't sure she loved me anymore and that she needed some space. This completely destroyed me. I mean, they even had to send me home from work as I was a total mess from it. I went to a very dark place and if it wasn't for a policeman I would have ended up at the bottom of a cliff...this is a hard thing for me to admit but I was feeling very suicidal without her. I did get some help though and managed to struggle through that dark phase... After a month she asked to meet me, we sat down and chatted away like old times. But all the time she was texting someone and then placing her phone facedown so I could not see who she was receiving mesages from... But she said to me after we had spoken a lot that she wanted to be just friends. She felt that she couldnt jump back into a relationship with me just yet and that if we started as just friends and it felt right then maybe something might develop. I replied by saying that I didnt feel I could be friends with her just yet and that I need some space for this to happen which she understood. We spoke for a bit, just sorting out minor things but never really had conversation... On Valentines Day she started speaking to me through MSN messenger. It was just like how we started chatting when we first got together and we were flirting a little bit too-she wanted to pay for half of the deposit of a holiday I had arranged for her birthday which I cancelled obviously and we were just flirting about paying it back and me saying dont worry about it. She also said Happy Valentines Day to me. What do I make of that?! I asked if maybe she wanted to go for a coffee or lunch at some point and she agreed. Then she asked me if I would want to go see a film in May when it is released. I am just so confused. I mean, I have been going out, meeting new girls and new people and having a great time but there is something deep inside me that cant and wont let go of her. And now this has happened I really dont know what to make of it?! Half of me feels that she is just keeping me on the sidelines and not trying to make me lose interest as she is well aware that I still consider her my world and how I feel so strongly for her. I just really dont know what to make of her at all, or what I should do? I really would appreciate any help as to be honest, even though Im getting out and about and meeting new people I still feel like Im dying on the inside, and I still feel so low inside. Thank you for all your help
DSM-IV Tom Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It's over, period. And the fact you ever considered suicide over a relationship makes me want to find you and beat the hell out of you. Glad you got help for that though, because in the grand scheme of things, a suicide over a relationship is like suicide over getting the wrong type of food at a fast food place. It's just STUPID, cliche, over dramatic, and a PERMANENT solution to a temporary problem. Now that we've sorted that out... It's over. There is no reconciliation to be had unfortunately. I wish things were different, but once a couple breaks up, it will never be the same. It hurts to hear, but you need to hear it. This girl is someone elses problem now. Fight the pain
Author Tha_Ginga Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Thanks dude. Needed to hear that. I look at the way I was and quite frankly I think I needed to be beaten out of it! But the way you put it about suicide over the wrong type of food...that makes sense to me...thank you. I do understand that it's over, and over for good. But it is so hard as we all know... But why would she want to go and see a movie with me? I don't get it...and to be honest I doubt that I will go with her. I'm regretting asking her to go for coffee, I'm not to bothered about blowing her off-after all, she rejected me! But thanks for the advice!
Narf Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Hello... Just my thoughts the whole movie thing is cause she wants to be friends with you for whatever reason... When you break up it might not be that you hate the person it is just that you dont feel the same anymore... might be confusion, or fear or another person or anything... You just have to answer truthfully to yourself is friends going to be enough for you... For me i try to convince myself it is, but the reality is i do more damage to myself then the dumping did cause i trick myself into thinking friends is fine! I dont need more from them... When really i want them to want me :/ I would give yourself time, stay away until you have let go... By then you prob wont want to hang out with the person that broke you...
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