My wee story

[Edgey]

First off, Hiya everyone!

 

I'm going to tell you my wee story, I'll do my best to give as many details as possible yet condense it as much as I can so please bare with me.

 

I got together with a girl last January, and very quickly we were madly in love. We were almost inseparable. Things were going perfectly fine and we were so happy. Although it wasn't all plain sailing. The truth is this, I loved her so much that I didn't feel like I could lie to her about anything, I wanted to be with her forever. So I told her the truth about me and my past. To clarify, the truth is I had slept with a silly amount of girls before I met her. I assured her that it was my past and she was my everything, but it must have bothered her because she became jealous of stupid little things. Anyways, we had a slight argument in June and decided to have a break for 2 weeks as she was off on holiday with the girls and I was going away with the boys.

 

I gave her space when she was on holiday, didn't contact her. Then she would text me "by accident" and I replied and asked if she was having fun, to which she replied that everything was going great etc. So I text her "I love you so much and I miss you" She didn't say it back to me but continued to text me for the next week. Til one night she was texting me and teasing me about the fit guys on holiday and I snapped and text her back the most horrible text message of my life, I took all her insecurities and threw them in her face. I had instant regret. I was so stupid. I apologised but she was really angry.

 

When we got home from holiday we decided to meet up and talk, I told her how I really missed her and I was upset she didn't say it back to me while she was away. She told me that she was missing me more than anything and was desperate to get home and see me and get back together (why didn't she just say that? girl logic!!) until I sent that SMS message. She said that had broke her trust.

So she didn't want to get back into a relationship with me, yet we were still constantly talking and texting. Then we had an arrangement, we would just be sleeping together. So that's what happened, we were sleeping together, then it became we were seeing each other everyday and having sex. This went on for 4 months and I kept asking her to take me back but she said she couldn't because she didn't trust me! She said she loved me and wished she could but she "knew" i would hurt her again!!

 

So that takes us up to October, she went on a few dates with a guy and I was cool with it. Gutted inside but there was nothing I could do! Anyways, she knew it upset me and said she was going to start seeing this other guy, we got into an argument and she told me how amazing he was, gorgeous, and how amazing he was in bed. So at this point I have to options, whither and die or get out with my friends and get over it! I opt for getting on with my life. I go out with my friends and have fun for the next 3 weeks (I did pick up a few girls in that time, I slept with 2 diff girls)

 

I'm still in contact with her and we meet up, we have mindblowing sex and she tells me she never ever slept with that other guy, she just said those things to hurt me. So we are back sleeping together again, she tells this guy she was dating that it was over with him and she wanted to get back with me. But, she still kept up that she couldn't get back with me!! :(

 

So it was now November and we are together all the time, she loves me but she can't trust me, this is her war cry!! I love her so much and constantly reassure her that things would be better than ever if she takes the chance! So anyways, we buy each other gifts at Christmas and we see each other on Christmas day and we sleep together.

 

Then it happens, 29th of December, she tells me her friend has set her up on a date with a guy and she really likes him.

 

And by the time new year comes round, they are "a couple". She comes to see me on the 4th of Jan and we have a chat and kiss.

 

I decide to go for NC because I couldn't handle the thought of her with another guy. But she still texts me throughout January, telling me how amazing he is, how good in bed he is etc etc.

 

I snap and call her all the names under the sun. And we don't talk at all for another 2 weeks. Until Friday night, the 13th of Feb. She rings me up just before midnight, to tell me happy valentines day. We speak for 2 hours, laughing and joking. She tells me that I was the love of her life, she has never loved anyone more than me etc etc. I ask her to give things another go, she says no. For two reasons : 1. she would look sad and desperate to take me back after everything that i had said and 2. she was in a relationship now.

 

So yeah I spent Valentines day really depressed and missing her. My head is spinning. I love her so so much. She is coming over to talk to me at somepoint this week. I really don't know what to do.

 

I am so sorry about the length of this post. If you read this far then I genuinely thank you from the bottom of my heart. I just need some advice, kind words, tough love, whatever!!

[SYL]

What I don't understand is how she can't trust 'you'... She initially said that she couldn't resume your relationship because of the nasty things you said to her while she was on holiday. Well... how about all the nasty things she has said and done to you since?? She doesn't know what she wants.

 

NOBODY who is supposedly in love with someone will reveal other intimate relationships they have had or are about to have with others. If she loves you, she would spare you the unnecessary information whether they are in fact true or not. If they are NOT true, then she WANTS to hurt you. It's a game.

 

Step away for a bit to allow your spin to unwind. You need to clear your head. Eliminate all the external factors and look at the situation for what it really is and how it is making you feel. You have the power to choose how you would like to be treated.

[quankanne]

honey, this kind of behavior screams "MIND FOOK" ... there are several red flags popping up when you describe your relationship, namely that she has no respect for you OR the boundaries she claims to have established, and you don't need those kinds of games she's subjecting you to.

 

if she truly was "in a relationship," she wouldn't have bothered contacting you for Valentine's Day. Sounds like she's hanging on because she needs the drama your relationship provided.

 

move along – you'll preserve your sanity much more easily than if you keep trying to rekindle something with someone who sounds like the queen of wishy-washy.

 

just my 2 cents

[Edgey]

What I don't understand is how she can't trust 'you'... She initially said that she couldn't resume your relationship because of the nasty things you said to her while she was on holiday. Well... how about all the nasty things she has said and done to you since?? She doesn't know what she wants.

 

NOBODY who is supposedly in love with someone will reveal other intimate relationships they have had or are about to have with others. If she loves you, she would spare you the unnecessary information whether they are in fact true or not. If they are NOT true, then she WANTS to hurt you. It's a game.

 

Step away for a bit to allow your spin to unwind. You need to clear your head. Eliminate all the external factors and look at the situation for what it really is and how it is making you feel. You have the power to choose how you would like to be treated.

 

She cannot trust me, in her words, because of the amount of girls who like me and the number of girls i have slept with.

 

 

honey, this kind of behavior screams "MIND FOOK" ... there are several red flags popping up when you describe your relationship, namely that she has no respect for you OR the boundaries she claims to have established, and you don't need those kinds of games she's subjecting you to.

 

if she truly was "in a relationship," she wouldn't have bothered contacting you for Valentine's Day. Sounds like she's hanging on because she needs the drama your relationship provided.

 

move along – you'll preserve your sanity much more easily than if you keep trying to rekindle something with someone who sounds like the queen of wishy-washy.

 

just my 2 cents

 

Thank you. I don't know how many times I have told her to either be with me or f**k off!!

The thing is, anytime i see her, we have incredible sex.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Why does it seem like you keep bragging about the girls you've banged (as if this is some kind of achievement? Who gives a damn really) and the girls that like you, or how you have incredible sex. Who are you trying to convince dude?

 

This relationships dead. Don't know if it ever started but I can guarantee you on your LIFE that you two will never be a normal couple ever again. This is 100% guaranteed. Tone down your obvious arrogance too, you remind me of me.

[SYL]

Tone down your obvious arrogance too, you remind me of me.

 

I am glad you said that! LOL! I have read some of your posts and... maaaaaaaaan...!! LOL!

[Edgey]

Why does it seem like you keep bragging about the girls you've banged (as if this is some kind of achievement? Who gives a damn really) and the girls that like you, or how you have incredible sex. Who are you trying to convince dude?

 

This relationships dead. Don't know if it ever started but I can guarantee you on your LIFE that you two will never be a normal couple ever again. This is 100% guaranteed. Tone down your obvious arrogance too, you remind me of me.

 

 

Why would I lie to a faceless internet forum?

 

I am far from arrogant mate. It is just the facts of why she says she cant trust me. "you'll leave me for someone younger and prettier" << her insecurities not mine.

 

Trust me i wish i had only ever slept with her in my life, or i wish i would have lied to her about the number of girls!

 

Don't know if it ever started? what are you talking about?

 

Thats for your support all the same.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Lol don't be fooled SYL. Some people mistake my knowledge in psychology for arrogance. But when I start naming disorders, that's not me being arrogant. That's psychology. My arrogance is when I start talking about my looks... which I haven't done on this site really. And I don't do it in real life either except once in a blue moon. But it is still arrogance

 

 

And I mean I don't know if it ever started, because this girl seems to be severely lacking some type of IQ / logic. Telling you she can't trust you/she's banging other guys when she isn't? She has more loose screws than Lowe's. This ***** is psycho.

[Edgey]

Lol don't be fooled SYL. Some people mistake my knowledge in psychology for arrogance. But when I start naming disorders, that's not me being arrogant. That's psychology. My arrogance is when I start talking about my looks... which I haven't done on this site really. And I don't do it in real life either except once in a blue moon. But it is still arrogance

 

 

And I mean I don't know if it ever started, because this girl seems to be severely lacking some type of IQ / logic. Telling you she can't trust you/she's banging other guys when she isn't? She has more loose screws than Lowe's. This ***** is psycho.

 

Who mentioned looks brother??

 

If you believe that looks get you girls then you aren't only arrogant, you are pretty dumb.

 

If you read the OP, the jealousy never started until I told her about my past.

 

Thanks again.

[DSM-IV Tom]

When I mentioned looks, I was referring to me, not you. Calm down bull dog

 

And yes, looks do get you girls. We can debate on this all night. Personality is what keeps girls, but looks is what attracts them the quickest, initially, before you have the time to say anything. Personality of course increases or decreases the attraction, but looks are an indication of someone's health (not always accurate, though) as well as other things that appeal to our primal instincts. Physical attraction comes first, and if you say it doesn't, then it's you who is "pretty dumb".

 

And if your past ruined the relationship, then that's that. You can't change your past. Plus, her insecurities also came from hearing that. It's not all you. This relationships dead though, mark my words. Your better off.

 

Next relationship, please act like most females do and lie about the number of people you've slept with. No one NEEDS to know.

[SYL]

And yes, looks do get you girls. We can debate on this all night. Personality is what keeps girls, but looks is what attracts them the quickest, initially.

 

Totally agreed unless the woman makes a conscious effort not to... However, this is a discussion for another thread. Apologies to the OP.

[Edgey]

When I mentioned looks, I was referring to me, not you. Calm down bull dog

 

And yes, looks do get you girls. We can debate on this all night. Personality is what keeps girls, but looks is what attracts them the quickest, initially, before you have the time to say anything. Personality of course increases or decreases the attraction, but looks are an indication of someone's health (not always accurate, though) as well as other things that appeal to our primal instincts. Physical attraction comes first, and if you say it doesn't, then it's you who is "pretty dumb".

 

And if your past ruined the relationship, then that's that. You can't change your past. Plus, her insecurities also came from hearing that. It's not all you. This relationships dead though, mark my words. Your better off.

 

Next relationship, please act like most females do and lie about the number of people you've slept with. No one NEEDS to know.

 

Fair enough mate, you stand about clubs and hope that the most beautiful girls approach you because of your looks. It won't happen.

 

And I have just had a look at your pics lol

 

You need to eat more protein x

[IcemanJB]

She says she loves you, but can't trust you? IMO, trust is the foundation of love, not the other way around. She is screwing with you (literally and figuratively). Tom is right in that this relationship will NEVER be the same. Cut her off and move along.

 

And I'd also like to agree with Tom about his comment on looks. We all wish initial attraction had nothing to do with looks and only personality, but that's just not the case. Anyone who says and believes 100% that "looks don't matter" is dreaming; at first at least. I often get ruled out immediately by some girls just because of my [lack of] height. That's just the way things are. I do the same thing when meeting girls; if she's taller than me, forget it. I don't like girls with blonde hair. Every girl I've ever dated has had dark hair, brown eyes and light skin (with the exception of one). Now if you're so open minded that you NEVER rule out a girl as a possible partner, more power to you, but I'd have a hard time believing it.

 

Of course I've met girls that fit this physical description that had the personailty of a rock, which obviously makes me run for the hills.

 

Whew.../tangent

[DSM-IV Tom]

You need to eat more protein x

 

 

 

Can't argue here. Tried that though and I don't gain any weight. Lol. If you have any suggestions on weight gain other than protein x, I'll take your advice. But I don't dwell much on being thin, I am happy I have the body shape / face I do. I could've been born some fat average person.

[Edgey]

She says she loves you, but can't trust you? IMO, trust is the foundation of love, not the other way around. She is screwing with you (literally and figuratively). Tom is right in that this relationship will NEVER be the same. Cut her off and move along.

 

And I'd also like to agree with Tom about his comment on looks. We all wish initial attraction had nothing to do with looks and only personality, but that's just not the case. Anyone who says and believes 100% that "looks don't matter" is dreaming; at first at least. I often get ruled out immediately by some girls just because of my [lack of] height. That's just the way things are. I do the same thing when meeting girls; if she's taller than me, forget it. I don't like girls with blonde hair. Every girl I've ever dated has had dark hair, brown eyes and light skin (with the exception of one). Now if you're so open minded that you NEVER rule out a girl as a possible partner, more power to you, but I'd have a hard time believing it.

 

Of course I've met girls that fit this physical description that had the personailty of a rock, which obviously makes me run for the hills.

 

Whew.../tangent

 

 

Don't get me wrong I agree with Tom to a certain extent, I am also often told I am good looking. But I would never have pulld some of the good looking girls I have without being confident enough to approach them, interesting and intelligent enough to get them interested and funny enough to make them laugh.

 

So IMO, standing there looking pretty is advantageous but defo not how to get the best looking girls.

[DSM-IV Tom]

I don't doubt ur good looking OP. Don't get me wrong or anything, I'm not trying to put down anyones look. I know iceman is also a pimp.

 

I agree with you though too OP that looks won't get you everywhere. Some girls think they're gods. I tell them to get back in the kitchen

[Edgey]

Some girls think they're gods. I tell them to get back in the kitchen

 

 

Haha! superb brother!

 

I'll put a few pics in my album incase you think I'm talking **** about looks.

My point was only that i'd rather be average looking with game than a pretty boy with no game!