Author dreamergrl Posted February 17, 2009 Author Posted February 17, 2009 Okay, everyone is wondering! It went GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
likestolaugh Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 *high five!* Glad to hear it! So no belt buckles, utility belts, masks, capes, or power rings? excellent.
Star Gazer Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 What does "GREAT" mean? DETAILS please!!!!
Trimmer Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Okay, everyone is wondering! It went GREAT!!!!!!!!!! Well, not to be "stalky" or anything, but you disappeared for a day and a half there... I was trying not to imagine the worst, but on the other side, I couldn't help thinking of twisted sheets with delivered pizza for breakfast because you didn't want to leave the bed for that long.... Oops, did I just say that out loud? What does "GREAT" mean? DETAILS please!!!! Indeed... C'mon, some of us are living vicariously through you and TBF and Mea here...
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Well, not to be "stalky" or anything, but you disappeared for a day and a half there... I was trying not to imagine the worst, but on the other side, I couldn't help thinking of twisted sheets with delivered pizza for breakfast because you didn't want to leave the bed for that long.... Oops, did I just say that out loud? I had the same thoughts.
Author dreamergrl Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 I had a lot of fun with him. He's very easy to talk to, has goals, I can relate to him, the sexiest blue eyes I've ever seen. I've already seen him again I know everyone wants to know, but work got busy for me this week. I promise to post more
Island Girl Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Fabulous Dreamergrl! I know you were looking at him for a while! It just goes to show you that things happen when you go after what you want! So no superhero costume under his clothes huh? I am really happy for you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Yay! How cool. I'm really excited for you, DG.
OpenBook Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Ohhhh, this is making me uneasy for you, Dreamergirl! I hope you are keeping your wits about you, and not falling for him hook line & sinker (with blinders on)... and that you are maintaining your emotional independence. It's been my experience and my GFs' experience, over and over again - it never works when we chase them first! They always flake out on us eventually. I hope you are the exception. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Author dreamergrl Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 And why does it never work when we chase them first? All because I asked him out?
Island Girl Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 And why does it never work when we chase them first? All because I asked him out? This isn't true. I haven't necessarily asked a man out - but I have made it very plainly clear that my answer would be an absolute yes if they did. That's nearly the same. And I have been proposed to several times - and married. So as far as "not working out" I don't believe there is a hard fast rule on that! So Dreamergrl I think you are just embarking on the relationship journey just as everyone does. Full of possibilities and no guarantees - it just depends on the two individuals involved. You have just as much of a chance as anyone else at true love.
Star Gazer Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 I'm curious: Did you sleep with him already?
OpenBook Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 And why does it never work when we chase them first? All because I asked him out? I wish I knew. They seem to want to believe that they picked you, and not the other way around. It could be a control thing. A testosterone thing. Who knows how they think. I'm clueless. All I know is they're reliably consistent in their behavior. They like to be the ones who do the chasing. I guess there's also another factor (as much as I hate to admit it) - me, and the way I showed them how much I liked them, by asking them out, and then showing how thrilled I was just to be hanging out with them. They liked it at first, but then they just got disinterested, and even a little irritated with me. This has happened every time I have asked a man out. That's why I hope you're keeping some reserve with him, maintaining your emotional independence. It always works out better for me when the man chases me in the beginning. Even the breakups are easier with these men.
Isolde Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I think there's definitely a difference between making an initial opening for a guy, and actually CHASING a guy. No one seems to account for this. Asking a guy out means you have some initial interest. It doesn't mean you want him to father your babies. ALSO, correlation does not equal causation. Asking a guy out is usually not the only reason a relationship fails. With that said, DreamerGrl, perhaps allow him to pick up, now that you've started.
Trialbyfire Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 If it's going to work, it will work regardless of who initially pursued. It also depends on what drives each individual. If you like the shy ones who need to be nudged, expect that you're probably going to need to nudge them here and there. If you prefer the more assertive types, I do agree that pursuit by the woman won't work in the long-term. Time for an update dreamergrl!
calazhage Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 And why does it never work when we chase them first? All because I asked him out? If a girl asks me out I am thinking "easy sex". You can't chase a man.. We are just not wired that way.. It doesn't work because men think of "easy sex", and might not be interested in you. hence, why they didn't ask you out. You can pick the man by smiling, flirting, etc. But explicitly asking him out changes how he thinks of you.
confused_2008 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 If a girl asks me out I am thinking "easy sex". You can't chase a man.. We are just not wired that way.. It doesn't work because men think of "easy sex", and might not be interested in you. hence, why they didn't ask you out. You can pick the man by smiling, flirting, etc. But explicitly asking him out changes how he thinks of you. Not necessarily. If the guy's shy in the first place, he's most likely not looking to score some easy sex. If it's a more confident guy with options, you are probably more right, but I still say there's exceptions.
Isolde Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 But it's presumptuous for guys to think that a girl asking them out means she wants sex right away. When a guy asks me out, even though I may find him sexy, I don't assume that he wants to have sex with me...! because it's too early to know if there's real chemistry. Asking out someone you ALREADY KNOW means that yes they most likely want to have sex with you eventually. LOL. Asking a stranger on a date is such a preliminary step, I don't see how it matters unless the guy is a true alpha male.
Art_Critic Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Sometimes if a girl wants a specific guy then she has to ask him out.,. If the guy is considered a catch for whatever reason then the chances are he goes out with a lot of women that ask him out... He can appear unavailable to women because of his job or whatever priority he has that makes him look busy but a catch.. I don't think asking a guy out alone makes her look like easy sex.. Now if she asks him out and makes him dinner at her house for the first date then yes it might look a little easy.. but who does that ?
Island Girl Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 When a guy asks me out, even though I may find him sexy, I don't assume that he wants to have sex with me...! because it's too early to know if there's real chemistry. If a guy asks you out he wants to have sex with you. At that point there doesn't really have to be any "chemistry" either. That doesn't mean you should sleep with him immediately. It just means that if you did you would more than likely find a willing partner.
calazhage Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 But it's presumptuous for guys to think that a girl asking them out means she wants sex right away. When a guy asks me out, even though I may find him sexy, I don't assume that he wants to have sex with me...! because it's too early to know if there's real chemistry. Asking out someone you ALREADY KNOW means that yes they most likely want to have sex with you eventually. LOL. Asking a stranger on a date is such a preliminary step, I don't see how it matters unless the guy is a true alpha male. Why else do you think he asked you out? This is why guys start threads asking what chemistry is.They do not think of "chemistry" in the same way women do. They see you, talk to you, they know they want to have sex with you , they ask you out. So naturally, often times men think the same if women ask them out. You are attracted to him, and would have sex with him. Why else would you ask him out? Lets say they are 100 women. A guy might have sex with 60 of them. He might want to take about 7 of them on a date, and he might want to have 2 as a girlfriend. So if you are in the top 60, he will go out with you. That does not mean you are in the top 7, or top 2.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Lets say they are 100 women. A guy might have sex with 60 of them. He might want to take about 7 of them on a date, and he might want to have 2 as a girlfriend. So if you are in the top 60, he will go out with you. That does not mean you are in the top 7, or top 2. Dude. Those odds suck. I'm not saying you're wrong - I'm just saying it sucks. If I ask a guy out, it's because I'd like to get to know him better to see if I'd potentially want him for a relationship. Once I've decided on a relationship, THEN I'm open to sex. It's so funny how differently men and women think. But sadly, I'd have to say that you're most likely right, calazhage (what does your name mean, anyway?).
Trialbyfire Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Gotta' love the twisting of every anecdoetal piece of information! Men and women when asking each other out, are attracted to each other. Being attacted doesn't necessarily mean that either gender is going to jump into bed with each other, just like going out with someone doesn't always equate to a relationship. Honestly, people should get their heads out of their backsides with grand assumptions. Okay dreamergrl, now back on topic. Disregard the crap and give us an update!!
Author dreamergrl Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 I'm curious: Did you sleep with him already? Nope, nor is there any pressure for this to happen. But he's a great kisser I think there's definitely a difference between making an initial opening for a guy, and actually CHASING a guy. No one seems to account for this. Asking a guy out means you have some initial interest. It doesn't mean you want him to father your babies. ALSO, correlation does not equal causation. Asking a guy out is usually not the only reason a relationship fails. With that said, DreamerGrl, perhaps allow him to pick up, now that you've started. Actually, he stays in contact with me every day. We've hung out a few times, and he's made it clear it wants to continue to do so. I'm not doing any chasing, and I don't have to! It's great! If a girl asks me out I am thinking "easy sex". You can't chase a man.. We are just not wired that way.. It doesn't work because men think of "easy sex", and might not be interested in you. hence, why they didn't ask you out. You can pick the man by smiling, flirting, etc. But explicitly asking him out changes how he thinks of you. Actually, he told me he wanted to ask me out, but wasn't sure if I had a bf and wasn't sure if I'd accept. He's told me many times he's so happy I went ahead and asked him out. Gotta' love the twisting of every anecdoetal piece of information! Men and women when asking each other out, are attracted to each other. Being attacted doesn't necessarily mean that either gender is going to jump into bed with each other, just like going out with someone doesn't always equate to a relationship. Honestly, people should get their heads out of their backsides with grand assumptions. Okay dreamergrl, now back on topic. Disregard the crap and give us an update!! It's been great! We've hung out several times this week. Either watching a movie, grabbing something to eat. To fill in the details... He is 23, but doesn't act like it. I never would have guessed by the way he presents himself. He doesn't leave me wondering. I know he likes me and wants to keep seeing me. OMG he has the greatest smile, and sexy sexy sexy eyes. He is soooooo easy to be around. There's no pressure for sex, but he's very affectionate. Major attraction there, personality and physically. I look at him, and I just want to smile! He's nice, but no doormat. He speaks his mind, but does it well. There's no lack of contact. I can't remember the last time I dated someone like this, if ever.
Trialbyfire Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Glad to hear that things are great! Relax, enjoy and don't let the negative nellies piss on your parade!
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