39388 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I'm not big on ****ting on media etc. (a pathetic past-time for poor humanities types, IMO ) but the prevailing stereotypes has probably influenced my own preferences, at least a bit, and that's why it took me a while to grow fond of my current girlfriend. She certainly's got some curves, but the the funny thing is that she's actually perfectly proportionate and in fact *much thinner* than most girls, given that so many are overweight (she's 5'2", ~120 lbs). The thing is, I was so *wrapped up* in the barbie doll build (which I still prefer - my ex was 105 lbs of the same height), that it took me forever to come back from this and realise that there is absolutely nothing wrong or unnatractive about her . she can still loose some weight and conform to my 'young boy' ideal, but she doesn't have to . I'll just wave the dessert cart away when we go out . Things are different for men though. Unless you're Tony Soprano or Orson Wells, I don't think any man looks good with any 'curves'. The problem is that many men out there have both baby faces AND are also a bit on the chubby side. You can't pull off the "boyish charm" thing if you have any amount of fat what-so-ever... If you're going to have some junk in the trunk, better make sure you look like Don Corleone in his heyday too The prevailing sterotypes actually upset me. Maybe because they are no help to someone not very athletic like me. I know there have got to be so many really nice women who are ignored because they weigh a few extra pounds. Some curves on a woman look nice to me anyway. I'll never have this "boyish charm". I am the opposite. I don't charm people by looking at them. If I do charm anyone, it's with my brain and not my looks.
Author Isolde Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Seriously, how often do you see above average looking guys getting rejected? Hardly ever. How often do you see above average women getting dumped? Constantly.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Anyone else think that there is an infinitely larger number of good looking women, than good looking men? i've met a number of women who look great at night but look like skanks in the morning without their makeup and hair done...
Trimmer Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Seriously, how often do you see above average looking guys getting rejected? Hardly ever. How often do you see above average women getting dumped? Constantly. I don't believe I'm omniscient enough to draw an accurate conclusion either way, and I would be fooling myself to believe that the information I do have - my own experiences, internet postings, movies, TV, "entertainment news" about famous people, etc. - is complete enough to do so. I may have an opinion, but I'm realistic enough to know that it's not worth much as a measure of reality... From what data are you drawing your "constantly" and "hardly ever" conclusions?
Trialbyfire Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Seriously, how often do you see above average looking guys getting rejected? Hardly ever. How often do you see above average women getting dumped? Constantly. Whoah, where did this come from? People get rejected and dumped all the time. It's not the looks that solely drive incompatibility. Time to rein back on those generalizations because they're far from true, only inflammatory.
carhill Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 The only way to get "dumped" is to, initially, be accepted. If one is rejected, there is no acceptance.
kashmir Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Seriously, how often do you see above average looking guys getting rejected? Hardly ever. Is this a joke? Even the most attractive guys get rejected at least 1/2 of the time.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Is this a joke? Even the most attractive guys get rejected at least 1/2 of the time. indeed, i would guestimate that ugly men get rejected 99% of the time, average looking get rejected 95% of time and good-looking get rejected 90% of the time. i have no facts to back these figures up but they are based upon thorough observation.
Author Isolde Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Is this a joke? Even the most attractive guys get rejected at least 1/2 of the time. I'm serious. I think I'm the inverse version of you.
Mahatma Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I will agree here, only your explanation as to why this happened is not right. What REALLY happens is this: Ugly men have a hard time getting women in their early years, so they have a lot of free time to get ahead academically and in business. This is happening while women in their teens and twenties are dating all the hotties they can find, but we use contraceptives so no babies are produced. As time goes on, women wish to settle down and marry Mr. Richugly. The daughters produced have most of the traits from pretty mommy, so they are pretty. The sons produced are ugly. ... seriously though, I know what you mean. I consider myself an attractive male. However, I think I spend more time trying to make myself appealing than many guys. I do not style my hair, or wear makeup, but I have a good sense of fashion. I think I have an attractive face, and was blessed with great hair. I take the time to work out and run and stay fit, while most of the college guys I know are too interested in partying. I think this is truly the reason. Being attractive has some to do with genetics, but I would go as far as to say the majority of it is governed by how you treat yourself and make yourself look. How you dress, do you brush your teeth, keep your face cleaned, shave, exercise, keep your hair cut, what you eat, and things like this. I think women are more concerned with things like this, so yes they look better. I used to consider myself an unattractive male. I still believe I was. Once I started eating right, exercising, and just plain looking after myself, I became attractive.
kashmir Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I'm serious. I think I'm the inverse version of you. I think you are. It would probably do us a world of good to fully exchange places for a day and see the world through the opposite person's eyes. If only that was possible.
39388 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 The only way to get "dumped" is to, initially, be accepted. If one is rejected, there is no acceptance. I know all too well
sweetie17 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I def think it's part regional. Here on the East Coast, I feel that way a lot. But when I visit Chicago, I see hot men everywhere (in my opinion). So, yes I know what you're saying. But also remember when you see women on the street, they are prob wearing make-up and are all done up. Who knows what they look like when they wake up in the morning. With men, what you see is what you get for the most part.
kashmir Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I def think it's part regional. Here on the East Coast, I feel that way a lot. But when I visit Chicago, I see hot men everywhere (in my opinion). So, yes I know what you're saying. But also remember when you see women on the street, they are prob wearing make-up and are all done up. Who knows what they look like when they wake up in the morning. With men, what you see is what you get for the most part. Heh, well, I live on the east coast too, and let me tell you - jersey girls aren't much to look at either. I went down to Washington DC last spring and I was so envious of all the hotties walking around in their sundresses. I feel like it's a "grass is always greener" situation, though. You take your own situation and environment for granted too easily.
39388 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I think this is truly the reason. Being attractive has some to do with genetics, but I would go as far as to say the majority of it is governed by how you treat yourself and make yourself look. How you dress, do you brush your teeth, keep your face cleaned, shave, exercise, keep your hair cut, what you eat, and things like this. I think women are more concerned with things like this, so yes they look better. I used to consider myself an unattractive male. I still believe I was. Once I started eating right, exercising, and just plain looking after myself, I became attractive. Being attractive has a lot to do with genetics. I can't stand what my face looks like, yet there is nothing I can do about it. I can keep it clean but not much else. I'll never have that jawline or face shape that most women crave. I'm starting to work out and they will help in some ways, but it will not change the shape of my face. Women want me for my brain but not for my looks. I'm not a 0 so they can at least stand me for an hour but I've never ever been told I'm attractive by a woman in my age group or younger. Never and I'm in my 30s.
Jaytb Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I call it "gender bias". You probably have much stricter standards of beauty for men than women because, guess what, you're sexually attracted to men not women. I feel there are more attractive guys than girls, so I can argue the opposite. (although I go to a science and engineering University so I pretty much am used to not only having very few women, but usually not as attractive women as well.) My honest opinion though is that there are probably equal numbers of attractive men and women. But there are probably more "goddesses" (10/10) than "gods". To be really good looking when you're a man you have to be muscular. Muscles are harder to build up than just staying in shape. Believe me, I can stay in shape easily (I lost weight pretty easily) and now I'm trying to build a little muscle and it's much harder.
Author Isolde Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Oddly enough, I don't give a damn about muscles, nor would I agree you need to be muscular to be handsome.
39388 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It would seem some women like muscles while others don't care. What about face shape? I can't change that. Is what women find physically attractive in men qualities you are born with (face shape and height and such) or qualities you can develop?
kashmir Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I call it "gender bias". You probably have much stricter standards of beauty for men than women because, guess what, you're sexually attracted to men not women. I feel there are more attractive guys than girls, so I can argue the opposite. (although I go to a science and engineering University so I pretty much am used to not only having very few women, but usually not as attractive women as well.) My honest opinion though is that there are probably equal numbers of attractive men and women. But there are probably more "goddesses" (10/10) than "gods". To be really good looking when you're a man you have to be muscular. Muscles are harder to build up than just staying in shape. Believe me, I can stay in shape easily (I lost weight pretty easily) and now I'm trying to build a little muscle and it's much harder. There's also less demand for "gods" versus "goddesses." There's a MUCH greater amount of beauty products and ideals targeted at women than men. When you think of a model, you think of a woman, not a man. Many more attractive women are put in the limelight than attractive men. And tell me about there being no girls in engineering. My engineering program has a 6:1 ratio of guys to girls. Most girls in engineering aren't even attractive, and because of the horrible ratio, almost every girl gets an inflated ego. I lived in an engineering dorm last year where the ratio was also 6:1. There were these four girls that lived right around me...they weren't attractive at all. 5/10 at best. They thought they were the **** though because they had an entire dorm of horny nerdy guys that wanted to get laid. The one with the biggest ego was by far the ugliest (and heaviest, uggghhh, she thought she was so hot ).
39388 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 And tell me about there being no girls in engineering. My engineering program has a 6:1 ratio of guys to girls. Most girls in engineering aren't even attractive, and because of the horrible ratio, almost every girl gets an inflated ego. I lived in an engineering dorm last year where the ratio was also 6:1. There were these four girls that lived right around me...they weren't attractive at all. 5/10 at best. They thought they were the **** though because they had an entire dorm of horny nerdy guys that wanted to get laid. The one with the biggest ego was by far the ugliest (and heaviest, uggghhh, she thought she was so hot ). It is easy to get a big ego when the numbers are that much in your favor and have no ego at all when the numbers are not in your favor.
Jaytb Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Oddly enough, I don't give a damn about muscles, nor would I agree you need to be muscular to be handsome. Not all women of course. But plenty do. And tell me about there being no girls in engineering. My engineering program has a 6:1 ratio of guys to girls. Most girls in engineering aren't even attractive, and because of the horrible ratio, almost every girl gets an inflated ego. I lived in an engineering dorm last year where the ratio was also 6:1. There were these four girls that lived right around me...they weren't attractive at all. 5/10 at best. They thought they were the **** though because they had an entire dorm of horny nerdy guys that wanted to get laid. The one with the biggest ego was by far the ugliest (and heaviest, uggghhh, she thought she was so hot ). Around here, they call it RIBS. Ratio Induced B!tch Syndrome. It just goes to show how so many people's egos are validated by the desire of others. Really sad actually.
Mahatma Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Being attractive has a lot to do with genetics. I can't stand what my face looks like, yet there is nothing I can do about it. I can keep it clean but not much else. I'll never have that jawline or face shape that most women crave. I'm starting to work out and they will help in some ways, but it will not change the shape of my face. Women want me for my brain but not for my looks. I'm not a 0 so they can at least stand me for an hour but I've never ever been told I'm attractive by a woman in my age group or younger. Never and I'm in my 30s. I disagree. I have seen countless people who are "ugly" before they get in shape. This does not mean weight-wise either. When you go from being out of shape (again, not meaning fat) to being physically fit, your face will change. I have seen plenty people, including myself, go through this change. I will agree genetics does play a role, but I still believe the majority of your looks depends on your person treatment of yourself.
Author Isolde Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 There are also a lot of people, particularly older women, whose faces become gaunt and harsh after losing lots of weight. So don't overdo it.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I'm talking about broad, subjective attractiveness. For instance I don't like Johnny Depp's type but I would consider him handsome for purposes of this post. I am not saying that I want to date only gorgeous guys--I'm saying that I think women have the short end of the deal because there are fewer guys that are generally, subjectively attractive, than women. I also feel like handsome men are often spoiled in life because there are so few of them that women just flock to them. Beautiful women have the same difficulty, but since there are lots of beautiful women around, they become humbled, whereas the good looking men don't get to that point. Just a couple quick points. 1. You need to define "attractive" 2. It has been pre-established in previous threads that your a touch mental. So, this being a very subjective issue... it could all be in your head. 3. The features that make a woman beautiful... are in many ways not the same as what makes men attractive. If you find highly effeminate looking men attractive... that should answer your question.
Author Isolde Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Just a couple quick points. 1. You need to define "attractive" 2. It has been pre-established in previous threads that your a touch mental. So, this being a very subjective issue... it could all be in your head. 3. The features that make a woman beautiful... are in many ways not the same as what makes men attractive. If you find highly effeminate looking men attractive... that should answer your question. How am I more mental than anyone else on LS? Seriously I'm open to criticism/honest advice like Star Gazer's, but it's hurtful to be called vapid and crazy when I'm just basically thinking aloud. It makes me feel like my thoughts are no longer welcome here.
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