paperchase Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Everyone knows the excitement surrounding a new relationship and the rush of falling in love. It's been discussed how real love doesn't start, if at all, until this honeymoon period ends and you see a person at their best and worst I'm interested in how long this feel good period lasts for most relationships. My estimate is 3 months. This might be a useful thing to consider for those who hope to get their ex back when their ex has moved on -- not that I recommend pining around for an ex.
Author paperchase Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 I feel kinda dumb responding to my own post, but I dug up one answer on here from an experienced Cali poster. He said 3 months for the honeymoon, 4-6 months you see the bad side and if it goes beyond that, it might be long term. So, here's a follow up question. Say your ex began a new relationship while still with you. Does the 3 months start from when they began, or when you were officially out of the picture. I would think the latter.
EmperorR Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 I used to think that but it depends, some people especially if you have been talking to them awhile before dating and there was no interest at all then you already know how they are. I'm the same person yesterday today and 3 months from now I don't put on a costume and act a certain way. And for exes who knows when they show their true self, imo especially if they leave you cheat on you etc and the other person they are with doesn't know what scum they are, they can only hide their dirty ways so long. I know my ex is the most crankiest b*tchiest bossiest person in the whole world, she had on a nice little front for like 5 months till the rust started to show over the cheap can of paint. And I would think the latter as well when my ex cheated dumped me and went to another guy a week later she was already thinking of kids and a future together so quickly, for people like that especially when they leave you for someone else, its almost impossible to fight that newness happy feeling they think will last.
diskey23 Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 4-6 months. in my experience. i have a female friend & a male friend who just love the honeymoon period. theyll date someone & after 6 months or so its almost as if theyre single again the way they talk to the opposite sex when they go out. once they find someone they like. theyll dump their SO for the new one. i know, classy.
EasyHeart Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 I think it depends on the situations. Generally, I think the faster the relationship moves, the quicker the honeymoon will be over. It's like getting a new job -- during the interview, you put on your best suit and use your best manners. But if it's just an act to impress people, pretty soon they'll start noticing that you're not the person you pretend to be. Also, people who fall in love at first sight (ie, the relationship moves really fast), are usually in love with an illusion of what they THINK the other person is like, rather than who they really are. That's why the best relationships are usually the ones where you know someone a long time before you start dating, or at least until you get serious.
2sure Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Sure, there are lots of studies on this subject and being a former serial dater myself...I read them. The period you are referring to has all kinds of factors which were studied, including chemical levels, and the average was 3 months. A 3 month cycle. It was spot on for me. As to when it starts...probably starts when the "relationship" stands alone, unimpeded by others or secrets, or possibly distance. Thats why affairs can last so long. They dont cycle through until the affair partners are together for real.
2sure Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Ahhh. Paperchase. I remember your previous posts. Are you by any chance, now waiting out the drama queen?
Author paperchase Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 Ahhh. Paperchase. I remember your previous posts. Are you by any chance, now waiting out the drama queen? No, I'm not waiting her out. I finally got the closure I needed today. We met briefly and it really made me feel better. No she didn't say she wanted me back, she said she was finally happy, but the way things ended was ugly and I was really bothered. We texted a little bit after our brief meeting about why she felt afraid of me. She said things like you looked scary, you're a little off, you're not yourself, it's like I don't know you anymore. I was really offended and basically told her that I'm not myself because I'm not superman. I demanded she stop with that crap or explain. I told her she devastated me and I didn't have a plan B like she had lined up so I was not prepared for this...after which point she wrote the following bullsheet: I do care for u. I wasn't trying to harass u. U told me to explain myself. I wish things were different, and who knows that the future may hold for us." I wrote back: thx for explaining.
2sure Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Women/people that require so much often accidentally on purpose push every button any sane person has. Thenm once they have you totally twisted trying to figure out their nonsense...they look at you and say you're the crazy one. Sigh. You sounded so very sane at first. I think this has gotten away from you. In trying to think like a high drama person, you'll act like one. You cant figure her out, there is no figuring her out. Get it?
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