peteyj Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Whaaa? So if I am into basket weaving and ballet lessons on my spare time and my guy doesn't want to share that with me, then we are not bulding a lasting relationship? Or did you mean if the woman isn't sharing YOUR interests your are not? That's probably what you meant because that is more than likely what men that have far too many activities expect of a woman who will enter his life a woman who will partake in HIS activities. No what I meant was that if you work 60+ hours a week and then spend most of your remaining free time with your SO, it means you won't be doing much basket weaving. Spread this out over a couple of years and suddenly all the things you used to like doing you don't do anymore. That's what I meant. And plenty of people get into this habit. If you work all the time and spend your remaining free time with your SO, it's most likely other friendships and hobbies and activities are getting the cut. Nothing wrong with that sometimes, but if it's an all the time thing, could lead to problems.
You'reasian Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Whaaa? So if I am into basket weaving . Some folks are into basket weaving, atleast if its underwater...nevermind.
Trialbyfire Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 petey, you need to do the math and I'm not being sarcastic or facetious. There are 168 hours in a week. 168 - (42+28+60) = 38 hours for personal hygiene, working out, friends, family, SO and hobbies. 42 sleep 28 meals 60 work Keep in mind that when you work from home, you can multi-task easily.
Tomcat33 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 No what I meant was that if you work 60+ hours a week and then spend most of your remaining free time with your SO, it means you won't be doing much basket weaving. Spread this out over a couple of years and suddenly all the things you used to like doing you don't do anymore. That's what I meant. And plenty of people get into this habit. If you work all the time and spend your remaining free time with your SO, it's most likely other friendships and hobbies and activities are getting the cut. Nothing wrong with that sometimes, but if it's an all the time thing, could lead to problems. Ohhh ok I see what you are saying YES I totally agree with that. It sounded like you were saying that you should share hobbies in your spare time together in order to build a solid relationship. Which is fine, provided the guy is up to sharing her interests too, not just nascar and mud wrestling every weekend :laugh: (never dated any man with those interests but for tone and effect those examples must be used) Some folks are into basket weaving' date=' atleast if its [b']underwater[/b]...nevermind. ooooh a man who likes a real adventure!
You'reasian Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Which is fine, provided the guy is up to sharing her interests too, Of course. Its all about compromise! not just nascar and mud wrestling every weekend :laugh: (never dated any man with those interests but for tone and effect those examples must be used) I see nothing wrong with mudwrestling the woman I'm with or wrestling for that matter. I'd let her win....hopefully we'd tie!
Author ruggy Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Seems like a zero sum game. Trying to fit her in your schedule you look like a pussy. Avoiding her you look like a dick. Where is the median? Perhaps, treating a woman like a person and respecting her obligations was a bad thing. Not sure. Since I am always busy was something, it really did not bother me. I guess I need to be more demanding in my needs. Which really are not much. Someone I can trust, is faithful, loyal and will be honest in her feelings. When I had an issue with her, I told her. No sugar coating. I expected the same. The now your dead response is really not what I was expecting. And please, don't tell me to get a dog.
Trialbyfire Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Seems like a zero sum game. Trying to fit her in your schedule you look like a pussy. Avoiding her you look like a dick. Where is the median? Perhaps, treating a woman like a person and respecting her obligations was a bad thing. Not sure. Since I am always busy was something, it really did not bother me. I guess I need to be more demanding in my needs. Which really are not much. Someone I can trust, is faithful, loyal and will be honest in her feelings. When I had an issue with her, I told her. No sugar coating. I expected the same. The now your dead response is really not what I was expecting. And please, don't tell me to get a dog. You neither have to fit your life into hers or her into yours. It's whatever works for both of you, as a couple. You being respectful of her limited time, aren't what makes or breaks chemistry. If she'd been into you, she would have made time for you, just like you made time for her.
peteyj Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 petey, you need to do the math and I'm not being sarcastic or facetious. There are 168 hours in a week. 168 - (42+28+60) = 38 hours for personal hygiene, working out, friends, family, SO and hobbies. 42 sleep 28 meals 60 work Keep in mind that when you work from home, you can multi-task easily. Yeah but it takes many people an hour or more one way to drive to work. So you add another 1-2 hours per day and now you're closer to 70 hours just for work. I used to work a lot of hours all the time. People who work 60-100 hours per week aren't spending too much time doing social activities or keeping up with their hobbies. Unless its somebody who works 60 hours a week but only really spends 10 hours working. Then that's a different story. But if it's a person who really works 60-100 hours per week, it's never just about free time. There just isn't enough in the day or week. 60 hours means a person is spending close to 12 hours a day working. Maybe the go on lunch. I go to the gym during my lunch break. Which for many people means now you're at work for 13 hours. When you leave for work at 6am and get home around or after 8pm.......There isn't much time for anything else but eat something(and if you eat healthy it's never just grab something at a fast food joint),. I know what it's like to work long hours. I've done that for years. When you spend 60+ hours working, you really don't have much free time to do anything else. Especially if all your free time involves a SO who works just as much as you.
peteyj Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 And I've worked with the 'multitaskers' who work from home. Those are people who either shouldn't be working at all or they shouldn't be working from home. Many aren't reliable at all. I know in my job If I work a 10 hour day, it means I worked a 10 hour day. It doesn't mean I worked for an hour, got up and ate something, came back and did the laundry, worked some more, then did some chores, etc. Some peoples jobs might allow them to do what they want. But I bet most of the time half the people who work from home either shouldn't have a job or they shouldn't be claiming they worked 60 hours a week.
Trialbyfire Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 You're entitled to your opinion based on what your personal experiences have been. You also have to keep in mind that not everyone's capabilities and structures are equal. There are people who can accomplish a lot more than others, within the same time frame. Now how this fits into chemistry, defeats me.
peteyj Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It has nothing to do with capabilities. If a person is doing everything else but work related things, it means they probably are claiming to work 60 hours a week when they really aren't. Like I said........I've done it so I know what it's like 6am - Leave for work 7am - Start work 12pm - Lunch 1pm - Back to work 8pm - leave work 9pm - home from work , eat do some stuff 10pm -12am finally free time but you probably aren't going to go crazy at this point Do that Mon - Friday every week.. That's 12 hour days and 60 hours a week. Not sure what kind of places you work for, but that's what the reality has been for most people I know who work those kind of hours. And whether you work at home or in an office doesn't matter. The only difference is you can do your laundry and save the commute time. Work is work. Heck when I work from home I spend more time working than I do at work. So I might be working till 10pm. If you're out doing everything else, it means you really aren't working. How it fits into chemistry is in response to somebody who spends the little free time they have with their SO. That's great but the reality is it also means they probably no longer have any other hobbies or activities to do due to lack of time.
zenith Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 LOL :laugh: look at all you geniuses trying to explain what ''chemistry'' is... it's a womanese, bro
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Actually chemistry was defined somewhere by a scientific study. Can't be bothered to look it up but it's a chemical response in the brain to the way your senses react to someone (sight, sound, smell, taste), that releases a load of endorphins. Similar to being in a psychotic state which is why some people can't eat, go a bit skitz etc.
zenith Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Again TBF, you do not know it all about relationships. There is no script. When I met my H, it was like a meeting of minds - that is how we both describe it. Now does that sound like chemistry? This is utter BS don't try to convince everyone that you are right, bro meeting of minds... pffft IF hubby of yours didn't feel any lust when you first met, then that means he didn't find you attractive at all :laugh:
zenith Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Actually chemistry was defined somewhere by a scientific study. Can't be bothered to look it up but it's a chemical response in the brain to the way your senses react to someone (sight, sound, smell, taste), that releases a load of endorphins. Similar to being in a psychotic state which is why some people can't eat, go a bit skitz etc. Womanese again, bro If you are talking about when a man sees a woman and feels LUST (stimulation in inferior gyrus, which then activates insula; causing erection then signals medial amygdala and hypothalamus to boost your sexual urges), it is FAR from ''chemistry'' that these women are talking about, bro
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Womanese again, bro If you are talking about when a man sees a woman and feels LUST (stimulation in inferior gyrus, which then activates insula; causing erection then signals medial amygdala and hypothalamus to boost your sexual urges), it is FAR from ''chemistry'' that these women are talking about, bro Actually it was for both sexes.. but feel free to tell us all what the female chemical reaction is bro.
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 This wasn't the study I was referring to but this might go some way to explaining whatever it is http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7890517.stm
Isolde Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 While it's tempting to believe that chemistry is "either there or it isn't," I think there may be a spectrum. In other words, it's entirely possible to have chemistry with several people in your life but you'll have more with some than with others. When it's NOT there, though, it's just not. Do you guys think that there is any such thing as too MUCH chemistry? In other words, chemistry so strong it makes people do foolish things?
zenith Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Actually it was for both sexes.. but feel free to tell us all what the female chemical reaction is bro. No ****... women got brains too, bro (I believe this so called chemistry comes from lust; simply chemical reaction in your brain, but these ladies think it is more than sexual attraction or lust, so I think it's whole bunch of Womanese) If you don't understand my post, don't reply, bro time to contribute with something useful, bro
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Do you guys think that there is any such thing as too MUCH chemistry? In other words, chemistry so strong it makes people do foolish things? Yes! I've experienced that. Whereas most women I've had chemistry with put me in a positive state, one of them totally knocked my head off. I don't think it was a good thing either.
zenith Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Do you guys think that there is any such thing as too MUCH chemistry? In other words, chemistry so strong it makes people do foolish things? Yeah, bro I've done some crazy stuff before, like a fool
peteyj Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 WHO CARES really. Go out, date, feel something, don't feel something. Stop worrying about what some survey tells you to think or feel.
zenith Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 seriously all this talk of ''divine connections at intellectual level etc'' = chemistry is BS chemistry is literally chemistry, bro It's all about sex
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I've done some crazy stuff before, like a fool I think that was just something to do with your personality.
zenith Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I think that was just something to do with your personality. I'll take that as a compliment, bro now time for you to develop some personality, too
Recommended Posts