ruggy Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Can someone tell me what is Chemistry? Obviously it is more than having an interest or feelings about someone. Everyone talks about this, and I do not comprehend it well it seems. I seem who these people with "chemistry" are with and then everyone wonders why they are not together in a year. Is this "chemistry" just another word for lust in the end?
alphamale Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Can someone tell me what is Chemistry? no one can define or objectify it and no one ever will... Is this "chemistry" just another word for lust in the end? no
movingonandon Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 It's either an excuse when you don't like someone, or an excuse when you're too lazy to define what or why you like someone so you use that as a shortcut . IMO, pretty useless cliche, on par with "it's not you, it's me"
Tomcat33 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 No lust is not chemistry. Chemistry is a spark that we feel when we are with someone who is holistically compatible with us, like two potent chemicals mixed together to form an explosive reaction. By that I mean all four components need to be aligned in order for that "reaction" to happen. We need to have a physical, spiritual, mental, and intellectual connection. When all that is present and coincides with the other a "spark" ignites and we feel love. But you can have good chemistry with someone in a non romantic sense as well. I can have good chemistry with my friends and there isn't the sexual component to it, where as when this happens with a man this turns into the sexual as well. That's chemistry to me. The better the chemistry the more exact all those four components match. Lust is just sexual no other component needs to be present in order for lust to happen.
Author ruggy Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 IMO, pretty useless cliche, on par with "it's not you, it's me" Thanks for that.
You'reasian Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Can someone tell me what is Chemistry? The study of how matter and energy interact
blind_otter Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 It's either an excuse when you don't like someone, or an excuse when you're too lazy to define what or why you like someone so you use that as a shortcut . IMO, pretty useless cliche, on par with "it's not you, it's me" I completely disagree. It's not something you can necessarily define in a succinct manner, and chemistry is not the same between any two couples. You will probably feel lust for someone you have chemistry with, sure, but that doesn't mean the two things are the same thing. And I've liked plenty of guys that I simply had no chemistry with.
39388 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 The study of how matter and energy interact That's the easy to understand chemistry! This other type of chemistry, never felt it
Tomcat33 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 That's the easy to understand chemistry! This other type of chemistry, never felt it You will feel it, and when you do it will be easy for you to define what it is.
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Maybe chemistry is solely the property of women. Maybe chemistry = lust to men.
Tomcat33 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Maybe chemistry is solely the property of women. Maybe chemistry = lust to men. And you base that on two guys who post on this thread a very jaded and dismissive post because possibly they never experienced a true connection on all levels with someone? Ask your past and present men what chemistry means to them I bet you $100 they can define it NO problem.
peteyj Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 I think it's more about connections and feelings. There are some people we feel an instant connection with for whatever reason. Maybe they grew up in the same area and you're 3000 miles away, maybe they lost a family member, maybe you both like the same sports team or whatever. From that point on sometimes you build on a relationship that turns into something special because of all those emotional connections and ties. It might just be a good friendship or it might become more than that. Who knows. Some people just look at lust and assume it's chemistry and a connection. I enjoy talking to people and getting to know them. I love learning about things I know nothing about or very little about. And the more people I've met over the past few months the more careers and ideas and who knows what else I've learned about. However my soon to be ex meets far more people than I and in all honesty she has no clue about them and they really have no clue about her. I have a co-worker who seems to know less about his gf of six months than I do about some random girl I hung out with once. When I actually start looking for a relationship again, it'll be more about finding out who they are, finding out what they like, and so on. And from that a connection might develop. Call it chemistry if you want. Of course if I'm attracted to them it makes things easier. But I'm not going to say I have a connection or chemistry with some woman I just met and shared 2 words with. That's not really having a connection. That's just lust. Big difference that many people don't seem to comprehend. And they get into trouble down the road because of it.
You'reasian Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 That's the easy to understand chemistry! This other type of chemistry, never felt it Chemistry is a connection that you build with a woman or vice versa, an invisible connection that you can feel but cannot easily define. When the two of you are together, you can't help but smile at each other and feed off each other's presence, humor, attention etc. Its more than lust - again, you cannot explain with words.
Art_Critic Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 To me chemistry is how you sum up your interaction with another person, How you feel about it and how excited it or they make you feel when you are together. One person can feel the chemistry and the other not feel it as it only has to do with one sole person. If both people feel chemistry then they are feeling their own separate feelings about your interaction together.
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 And you base that on two guys who post on this thread a very jaded and dismissive post because possibly they never experienced a true connection on all levels with someone? Ask your past and present men what chemistry means to them I bet you $100 they can define it NO problem. I'm looking at chemistry from a different perspective. Lust drives men. This is fact. It can drive them far more than it drives women, to unbelievable degrees of risk. This is fact. While I'd love to believe that men experience chemistry the way we do, I'm not 100% convinced of such.
anne1707 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 While I'd love to believe that men experience chemistry the way we do, I'm not 100% convinced of such. My husband lusts after me because of the chemistry we have. Men certainly do experience chemistry and do not have to be totally driven by lust. Those that are are not worth knowing in a serious relationship.
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 My husband lusts after me because of the chemistry we have. Men certainly do experience chemistry and do not have to be totally driven by lust. Those that are are not worth knowing in a serious relationship. I've yet to have a relationship with anyone who doesn't claim chemistry with me. What that means, I'm not certain. The best person to respond to that, is the men who are actually experiencing. Maybe a component of chemistry for men, is that she finds him funny.
peteyj Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 I'm looking at chemistry from a different perspective. Lust drives men. This is fact. It can drive them far more than it drives women, to unbelievable degrees of risk. This is fact. While I'd love to believe that men experience chemistry the way we do, I'm not 100% convinced of such. Men experience special connections and chemistry. If we didn't sites like this wouldn't exist cause men wouldn't care that their wives cheated or left. Yeah a lot of people, Men and Women, confuse lust with chemistry. Sometimes you feel a certain connection with somebody. Maybe it only leads to sex and other things and nothing more. Maybe it'll eventually lead to more. I think for long lasting relationships there has to be some kind of chemistry and special connection otherwise it's just lust and nothing more.
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Men experience special connections and chemistry. If we didn't sites like this wouldn't exist cause men wouldn't care that their wives cheated or left. Yeah a lot of people, Men and Women, confuse lust with chemistry. Sometimes you feel a certain connection with somebody. Maybe it only leads to sex and other things and nothing more. Maybe it'll eventually lead to more. I think for long lasting relationships there has to be some kind of chemistry and special connection otherwise it's just lust and nothing more. Don't get me wrong in that I believe men don't experience special connections. I'm guessing that the special connections = love, where chemistry = lust. I'm more curious than being bitter or jaded.
anne1707 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 The special connections ARE chemistry. Without that there is no real love. This is what gives a relationship substance, the ability to last. Lust on its own will not be enought.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Can someone tell me what is Chemistry? "Chemistry", in this context, is a label placed by the clueless to describe a situation in/during which two people just randomly happen to be having a sexual attraction to one another at the same time. More often just one person is sexually attracted to another, and in situations like those "there is no chemistry". So if by accident you and the girl in the locker next to yours happen to see one another in a sexual way, perhaps for the first time, at the same time during the Thursday lunch hour, then it can be said that you "have chemistry". Until a situation has two substances, there can be no "chemistry". For until you add flour, water is merely water. (***caution: The wind doesn't count as a substance when one is romantically peeing into it)
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 To drill down into it: Women: Experience three tiers, in that it starts with lust, then chemistry, then love. Men: Men experience two tiers, where it starts with lust/chemistry, then moves to love.
anne1707 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 To drill down into it: Women: Experience three tiers, in that it starts with lust, then chemistry, then love. Men: Men experience two tiers, where it starts with lust, then moves to chemistry/love. No. When I met my H, it was chemistry, then lust, then love. Just asked him and it was the same for him too.
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 No. When I met my H, it was chemistry, then lust, then love. Just asked him and it was the same for him too. How can you have chemistry when you don't know each other?
anne1707 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 How can you have chemistry when you don't know each other? Because we talked to each other!
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