Rissy Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 I've been dating a guy for almost 6 weeks, and it seems to be going well. Due to his work schedule I tend to put a little more effort in when seeing him, but when he can he is always good about taking me out and showing his affection to a point. Obviously, Valentine's Day was yesterday and I had gotten him a little something and again due to work gave it to him on Friday night. I helped him all day yesterday with his work (he has a business he runs out of his home), and then we had a simple dinner out, but he didn't say Happy Valentine's Day or even get me a simple card. He had made a comment that he doesn't like Valentine's Day etc. I actually had zero expectations, but was hoping I would at least get a card. Is that wrong? Looking back, I'm wondering if he's just really comfortable with everthing and doesn't think he needs to put the effort in??? I've been taken for granted in the past, and I don't want to start this pattern again...not sure what to do...advice?
Geishawhelk Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Start as you mean to go on. If this relationship looks and feels as if it has a 'long-term' flavour to it, I suggest explaining to him how you feel about certain things - like enjoying being romanced, receiving a card or a little gift on valentine's day... Because if you allow this to slip 'unnoticed' and un-noted - you are setting yourself up for greater disappointment, bigger communication issues and eventual resentment. At some point, tell him you felt a little annoyed, particularly as you purchased him something. Now, if he shrugs and says "well that's just the way I am", as opposed to, "Actually, I think it's just a load of commercial hooey, but if you enjoy it, I'll make a point of remembering next time, if it means something to you" - see it as a red flag.... In itself, it's probably just a little thing... but it's the little things that hold the big things together. A house made of bricks is useless if the mortar's missing. Things like Valentine's day aren't there because of feelings you might have, they're there because of the feelings you have for someone else..... If he finds it all too much effort to give you a token of his affection.... It's not going to get better..... Talk.
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 If he finds it all too much effort to give you a token of his affection.... It's not going to get better..... I couldn't agree more! Expecting a card and a greeting, isn't asking for much at all. Even if he doesn't want to fuel the commercial nature of V-day, he can make you a card.
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