northstar1 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Any guidance would be great... So you finally get back into dating, after 6 months of dealing with a breakup. You meet a pretty great girl and go out several times (say 7 or 8). There is good chemistry, communication, dates are a lot of fun and relaxed. But you are still worried about allowing yourself to develop stronger feerlings because fear of getting hurt again. You find yourself beginning to really like them, but you also know it's early on. You haven't had any discussions about "are you dating others" or how things are going, so although things are going well, you aren't really sure where you both stand. At what point do you talk about these things, and should it be left up to the girl to raise any talk of "are we dating others, or just each other etc"?? Without appearing too 'desperate' or that... Any comments would be great.
Illiandra Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 I think we have been in this boat many times before. You dont want to come off desperate and ask, but you do want to find out what is going on. I would wait a few more dates. You mentioned that you have been on a 7 or 8 dates. You are still getting to know one another. I think it is easier to bring up this question when you get into the intimacy stage. Have you guys done the deed yet? If so, then you have every right to ask, what is going on, are we exclusive? If you are in the early stages of dating ( which it seems like you are ) I would hold off on asking her. She may like you but want to take things slow. Asking too early about the relationship may also turn her off, or make her back away slowly from you. We usually have a tendancy to put up a "wall" when we dont know what the relationship is, but the best advice is, just let it happen naturally. Try not to put up a wall (just in case you because your scared of getting hurt) If you like her just keep treating her the same way, and maybe she will come around and ask YOU what is going on
Author northstar1 Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 I think we have been in this boat many times before. You dont want to come off desperate and ask, but you do want to find out what is going on. I would wait a few more dates. You mentioned that you have been on a 7 or 8 dates. You are still getting to know one another. I think it is easier to bring up this question when you get into the intimacy stage. Have you guys done the deed yet? If so, then you have every right to ask, what is going on, are we exclusive? If you are in the early stages of dating ( which it seems like you are ) I would hold off on asking her. She may like you but want to take things slow. Asking too early about the relationship may also turn her off, or make her back away slowly from you. We usually have a tendancy to put up a "wall" when we dont know what the relationship is, but the best advice is, just let it happen naturally. Try not to put up a wall (just in case you because your scared of getting hurt) If you like her just keep treating her the same way, and maybe she will come around and ask YOU what is going on Thanks for the reply. Yes there has been intimacy. Things have been good so far, and we get on quite well but we aren't at that stage where we act like a couple or that (ie. we don't talk every day etc). I guess I just want to know where things stand before I find myself developing even stronger feelings.
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