amazed Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 I met this girl at around the christmas period at a house party. She lives in a different city during university term time. We got on really well, shes spoke about past relationships, asked for advice from me 'as a guy', asked me what i find attractive in a girl etc. There is an age gap, of about 4 years, she's 18. When I was in the same city as her uni for work, she invited me out, showed me around and I spent the night at hers. With nothing happening. Since then ive grown quite a bit attracted to her, im not sure if she still just sees me as a friend though; or something potentially more. Sometimes she can be flirty, other times she isnt and acts shy. Shes an attractive, outgoing and confident girl, who moved away because of a very bad break up with a long term boyfriend last year and has avoided relationships since. She is down for the weekend. On friday she text messaged me non stop throughout the night (she was a bit drunk), asking what i was up to and if i wanted to go out for a drink the next again day. She was supposed to be meeting up with a 'male friend' but decided to ditch him and go out to a club with me and a group of friends instead. Once again nothing really happened during the night but when I got home, at 3.30am, she phoned me and we chatted for well over an hour. I am not sure if she sees me as a best friend, or whether she is actually attracted to me. When shes not in town we chat on msn and text each other all the time. Im scared to make a move incase it backfires and ruins our friendship; im not quite sure what to do. Most of my female friends seemed to think she was "all over me" one night, a couple of months ago, before i realised how much i like her. Since then she has sort of recoiled. I'm going to ask her if she wants to do something tonight. Bowling, cinema etc..
carhill Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 If you are both single, and you are attracted to her, do not sacrifice your attraction at the altar of friendship. That's my advice to you as a middle-aged man. A woman appreciates clarity of action. Her recoil IMO resulted from her perception of your response to her "being all over you". You weren't on the same page at the same time. Now is the time to square things up. Be aware that both of you will change and this will likely not last. Live in the moment and enjoy it
Author amazed Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 Thanks, I appreciate the advice of someone who has been there and done it. I sort of thought being in the 'friend zone' with someone im attracted to wouldnt be a good idea, especially if she ends up dating other guys and asking me for advice. Yes, we are both single. Going to the cinema tonight. However, a few others are coming; so it's not just the 2 of us. In all honesty im not quite sure how to go about this. I've never tried to make a good female friend something more before. Its always been from the off, probably why it never ends well. Her living in another city while at university also makes things additionally difficult.
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