calazhage Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 I never found dating to be all that fun. I pick a girl I like, and she becomes my girlfriend. I run a business, play sports, travel, and go out with friends. How do I have time to keep around 3 or 4 girls in a rotation? I like to have sex with a girlfriend, not waste time dating women I am not that interested in.
Author ruggy Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 I never found dating to be all that fun. I pick a girl I like, and she becomes my girlfriend. I run a business, play sports, travel, and go out with friends. How do I have time to keep around 3 or 4 girls in a rotation? I like to have sex with a girlfriend, not waste time dating women I am not that interested in. Good choice. Hard to find.
Author ruggy Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 Sorry but I really have had enough of all this self pity and moaning about a $10 DVD. In one of your other threads you said: Is this the same woman? Did you tell her how you felt? That you felt she was an STD risk whilst you were more than happy for her to go down on you? If so, can't really blame her for not calling you. Thanks Anne. Your comments are always welcomed. Nope. Just a generalized question.
fishtaco Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 So the old saying applies? If their lips are moving, chances are they are lying? Or use them and then loose them? Either are not how I envisioned women, but maybe my ideology of them should change. Women are people too you know. They're not some infallible saints. How much would you trust some dude you just met? You should trust a woman you just met the same. There are good women out there, but before you find them, you'll run into a bunch of crap first. You ideology of women should change -- consider them neutral. They're not some sort of magical creatures. They are human, and have the whole range of personalities and moral principles, just like men. Don't just assume and fill in the blanks with good stuff. If you want a woman that doesn't play games, believe it when she proves it, not when she says it.
Author ruggy Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 Women are people too you know. They're not some infallible saints. How much would you trust some dude you just met? You should trust a woman you just met the same. There are good women out there, but before you find them, you'll run into a bunch of crap first. You ideology of women should change -- consider them neutral. They're not some sort of magical creatures. They are human, and have the whole range of personalities and moral principles, just like men. Don't just assume and fill in the blanks with good stuff. If you want a woman that doesn't play games, believe it when she proves it, not when she says it. Fishtaco, I am not like that. I would not treat a woman like that. It was a comment in view another poster.
fishtaco Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 I never found dating to be all that fun. I pick a girl I like, and she becomes my girlfriend. I run a business, play sports, travel, and go out with friends. How do I have time to keep around 3 or 4 girls in a rotation? I like to have sex with a girlfriend, not waste time dating women I am not that interested in. Having a rotation doesn't mean you're dating women you're not interested in. It just means once you're going on dates with a woman you ARE interested in, it doesn't stop you from going on dates with another woman you are interested in also. Options are always good to have. Well if you can pick a girl and she becomes your girlfriend, more power to you. You're much more capable than I am. Both in terms of success ratio and psychic ability. I have experiences where I'm interested in the woman but she's not interested in me, having me pick her doesn't seem to convince her to be my girlfriend. So if you can just pick one and success happens, you're a badass. I also have experiences where the woman that I thought was great, turn out to be not so great. If you can avoid psycho women right off the bat, you're also a psychic badass, because for me I have to use dating to find out, and sometimes it would take many months before they show their true colors.
nittanylion Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 You start paying for everything and I am sure your opinion would change. This is exactly the reason she avoids you or maybe other reasons too. I guess dollars and cents only matter to you in dating. Dont bother dating anyone, save your money and you will have a peace of mind.
Trialbyfire Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 If you're spending beyond your means while dating, it's time to pull back on your spending habits. No amount of money thrown at dating, will ensure success, regardless of the dating manuals that PUA sites spout. Money spent on dates should be chump change. Otherwise don't bother.
Author ruggy Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 OP, this is what dating is all about. You date people so you can find the person who you're into, to have a relationship with. Not every dating situation is going to turn into a relationship. I do have to vent. If you try to keep an open mind and date someone for awhile, even though you're not feeling it, then realize it's not going to work, you get crapped on for it. If you turn someone down for a second date since you're not feeling it, you get crapped on for not keeping an open mind. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Whether she's being gentle or being honest, does it really matter? In the end, no one enjoys rejection. You can also look at it another way. She could have continued this for much longer, then dropped the hammer when you were fully invested. Doubtful as I was the one to cancelled the date after she "forgot" about the one for that day. I maybe slow, but once I come around, I am pretty fast at summing things up. Funny, she said she'd still like to be good friends. Never heard from her since. So much for being immaterial or fake. Moving forward, I have a new skin. Still treat the women with respect, but not giving a second thought on any of them. I read somewhere, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Feeling better about not being screwed on VD. But ashamed at myself for not picking it up sooner. Will get better. Who said I could not afford it. I just don't like wasting it. Teachers may be underpaid, but I get by. I do find in interesting where some of the women here don't see the point of view if your date is paying for everything and you are not being honest with him on your feelings there is a problem here. Talk about a double standard.
Mary3 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 It just simply means : You aren't getting in her pants "
Author ruggy Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 It just simply means : You aren't getting in her pants " Thanks Mary. Rub it in a bit more.
Author ruggy Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 Listen to this bulls-h-i-t. I thought I was done and was really finally over her. Then, she e-mails me a long e-mail out of nowhere. Three weeks later to my last e-mail. Saying sorry for the late reply. Don't take it personally or something. Said she really matched with me on many levels. All but two, passion and chemistry. Goes into that more and says wishes me the best and keep in touch. I then replied back in really long e-mail saying how do you have passion and chemistry when the other person is near impossible to get in touch with and we only saw eachother at night once or twice a week. Said I was basically treated as a safety backup. Brought some other things to bear and everything. She said she'll return my DVD too. Whoopee. I swear she knows she is pouring salt on the wound. Just replying to my e-mail THREE WEEKS later shows she doesn't give a s-h-i-t. Which is fine. I can dig that. But why contact me back? I did not ask any questions. I wished her well and said good bye. I am all pissed off again. In case everyone has not noticed.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 She's an idiot! plain and simple, she's expecting butterflies in her stomach your not gonna get chemistry with everyone you meet. I'd tell you to block her email from now on, NC is a must. Dont worry i live in new york too. I know exactly what you mean, some are serious the rest are flakes. They dont know what they want, and act stupid when they get it. much luck to you my friend.
Author ruggy Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 Yea, I was even just about over her. Tells me not to concern her response to me e-mail from her e-mail three weeks ago. I did not ask for a response, not sure why I got one. So she did. And in two to three weeks, she will again. I am sure of it. I particularly like this line from her e-mail "you truly are a gentelmen in all regards. Maybe one of the few left. and I have every reason to have regrets. Everything that makes sense in the world means nothing if I'm not passionately confident that what I feel in my heart of hearts. I do feel like we could be like relatives, our values and priorities are amazingly so similar. However it does nott make up for the passionate chemistry that goes into the relationship that I know each of us is looking for and needing so badly." I responded to the relatives remark pretty harshly. Blamed the passion and chemistry on her for not being available. Before I get attacked on that last sentence. Note, I did my best to make convenience times for both of us. Did not work. I still think I was her safety. I pushed it (for good reason) and it is not over. And she is NOT in anyway stupid. Extremely smart. Extremely naive and stubborn, yes. Will not listen to reason, yes. Evil, maybe. Makes no sense. Just irritates me to no end. Not really feeling sad, but anger and hatred. Never had this before. See dudes. This is what happens when you let women in. Never a good thing.
ddraper Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 She's not attracted to you anymore, bottom line. You can repair it but it takes some work, and at this point you may be the point of no return. You want any chance to get her back, you gotta get outta your head and move on. Date other girls and when she gets wind of that, don't be surprised if she comes back. You probably just became needy and desperate. Change that. Your move.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Cant argue with crazy. this woman does not respond to logic like we do. Her emotions must be invested. and all this talk of your similar values is BS she's stringing you along and you dont need to fall for it. How come you havent blocked her from your email? You need to stop picking up weird numbers let them leave a message, if it's her erase it. NC should be upheld, she'll get the message and leave you alone. Trust the best way of getting over a chick is to get under new one! lmao.
Author ruggy Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 Very true. Draper, she contacted me, I did not contact her. Not sure how or where I was needy or desperate. I don't need anyone. Only called her once a week or so when we were dating. I am not trying to get her back. I am/was moving on fine until she popped back in. Kinda hard to block txt messages though. Next time, I will not respond. Done and done. Part 2. And I did delete her contact info from my tel. Can't delete it from hers though.
fishtaco Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 She's an idiot. That email is just unnecessary and lame. She's not fooling anyone what that BS. You responded because you let her get to you. Your harsh response just made you look like a sore loser - she dropped you, so you threw a fit. The best way would have been either a no response, or a casual response like you don't care. Like a polite version of whatever, I've got better things to do. But I couldn't even finish reading that quote from her that you put. The BS smells so bad I had to quit half way. I wonder why she would even bother to spend the time to come up with that trash. Something is up. She needs something from you, otherwise she wouldn't have bothered.
Author ruggy Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 For the record Fish, I called it off after she "forgot" the last date. I am slow at times, I agree, but date seven or so, we should had been closer and seeing more of each other. That was not the reason. The reason was the lying and trying to cover on something, even though she said she did not try too. Whatever. And after that weekend, I did move on and started to date other women. There was more on that e-mail. About seven paragraphs. I especially liked the lets keep in touch ending. Infuriates me. This is why I do not do relationships often. Too difficult when one person becomes attached and the other one is a witch (or worse). She did say he had ADHD. I did brush that off as a joke, I thought. Don't know. And, in my e-mails to her, I was never mean or harsh in anyway. I am not like that. Just how I am. I think she may consider me as the "safety". However, it would not happen. I go by the old saying. Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.
calazhage Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I wouldn't be angry, and this is why.. Yes, you wasted time, feelings, energy, and money. But who knows what type of hurt this woman might be living through? You would be surprised as to how hurt and empty many of these women are whom always "act busy". She might have been abused, beat, molested, been abandoned, etc. I met many women like this, from all walks of life. yes, she might just seem evil, but who really knows what is behind all of that? Perhaps she is just emotionally unavailable? She might never be able to have a relationship with anyone. I woulds say she was just "not attracted", but it is strange to go on 7 dates with someone to figure that out. Normal women would know after 1 or 2. Yes, you could have played a bit more hard to get etc. But sooner or later she would have ran. Just be happy it is over.
Author ruggy Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 I wouldn't be angry, and this is why.. Yes, you wasted time, feelings, energy, and money. But who knows what type of hurt this woman might be living through? You would be surprised as to how hurt and empty many of these women are whom always "act busy". She might have been abused, beat, molested, been abandoned, etc. I met many women like this, from all walks of life. yes, she might just seem evil, but who really knows what is behind all of that? Perhaps she is just emotionally unavailable? She might never be able to have a relationship with anyone. I woulds say she was just "not attracted", but it is strange to go on 7 dates with someone to figure that out. Normal women would know after 1 or 2. Yes, you could have played a bit more hard to get etc. But sooner or later she would have ran. Just be happy it is over. Dude. I here ya. But why contact me three weeks after the deed? You see how it does not make sense? About here life. She lived a very afluent life growing up. I lived with one mother raising two kids. And we all had to pitch in and help family. Daddy paid for college and her masters. Paid for here D/P on her place a year ago. So, please. she may be a a bit screwy, but she did not have a hard life. We should all be a horrible situation like that.
fishtaco Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 One of the things I've learned to do is to NEVER make excuses for the other person's bad behavior.
ddraper Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Relationships have a dynamic change occurring all the time. The best thing you can do is just what you are doing. If she contacts you again ignore it and move on. If she insists to contact you through text, send her one and only one "Look, I'm not your boyfriend anymore, I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm headed out, goodbye." I know it sounds harsh, but the message will get across. I have been in that situation before, its tough, but remember she was the one who left first. Unless she has herself together. You should not talk to her nor even entertain the idea until some times passes.
calazhage Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Ruggy, I am saying she sounds strange. I am sure you agree. The question is why? I dated one affluent girl whose brother used to rape her. I dated another who just found out her dad is gay, and he is in prison with aids. I dated another girl who had her things together, was from a wealthy family, but was hooked on meth for 3 years and overdosed 4 times. I can go on and on. Some women were dating a guy and were constantly cheated on. In all of the above situations, I found out months down the line. It is not an excuse for their behavior, and it is not your problem. All I am saying is many women are strange for a reason. There is no way to logcially understand why she just contacted you, or for what reason.
sid3 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 She came sniffing around for an ego boost, plain and simple. She was looking to see if she could get a reaction out of you. She came up with that crap in her email for her own validation, Fish is right, it's a bunch of BS. It's good that your angry, when you reach that emotion, your that much closer to getting over someone. Now your on the path to really getting over her, which apparently you were'nt as far along as you had thought prior to her pathetic response to your last email. Had you been, you'd most likely not replied or replied with indifference. You now have the chance to go that route in the future. One thing I've found is that an ex will usually contact you almost exactly when you've gotten over them. From the sounds of it she was right, it's not you, it's her.
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