mpc Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 There's really no reason to explain all the details of the break-up. Long story short, I took my ex for granted, was overly clingy, and drove her away. We did end on good terms, and since our break up (three months ago tomorrow) we've hooked up (I know, terrible), entertained the idea of getting back together, and agreed to remain friends. The thing is, aside from any personal weaknesses that I may have, she's in one of my classes and several of my clubs. She is also friends with many of the same people that I am close with, meaning that avoiding her isn't much of an option, and even when it succeeds word about her gets back to me. I truly think that, as I've read on here, no contact would be a blessing - but I'm forced into seeing her everyday, all happy and chirpy with MY friends in our class (which is a study hall kind of thing, meaning it's basically recess. So not only do we have a class together, but we talk and joke and what not, and I hear not-so-discreet tales about her personal life). So, uh, help please?
MalachiX Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 If you can deal with it then don't worry. You shouldn't shut yourself off from your friends because of her. Who knows, it may be very healthy if you can find a way to exist together when you're not lovers.
Author mpc Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 First, thanks for the response. But, perhaps I didn't make clear my emotions in my first post: I can't deal with it. It makes me depressed, anxious, and sad, constantly. And on long weekends when I don't see her, I feel better. Admittedly still sad, but better. So I really, REALLY wish I had no contact.
Frankasy Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 NC isn't unavailable, it's just hidden and you need to find it. This is what came to my mind regarding your situation: Just ignore her, don't even say hi. If she asks what's wrong just ignore her, act like you're mad at her or just tell her that you two shouldn't talk with each other anymore due to your past. It depends on your type but both will do since you feel better when you're away from her(weekends). In your case full NC isn't possible. You will still see her everyday but at least you won't know what she's up too which eases up the hard part a bit. Anyways tell me what you think or if you decide to follow my advice, how it goes. Good luck.
Author mpc Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 As always, thanks for the advice. The thing is, as I explained, the class we're in together is very free. Instead of a class, think of it as a mandatory hang out setting, with a bunch of people just sitting around and talking. It's relatively small, with less than 25 people. I sit with a specific group of people because they include some of my best friends. But she sits with them, too. Meaning that if I specifically ignore her as you suggest, not only will everyone notice, creating awkwardness and difficulty in making conversation, but I'll still hear about her life, and worse: see her getting along fine and talking all chirpily to my friends while I sit there nearly mummified. Trust me, I've tried this, so I speak from experience. If anything, our whole group has developed a culture of flirtation in that class, so that all the guys flirt with girls and vice versa (haha, what's wrong with our education system?) So very often I'm stuck seeing her hugging other guys, joking around with them, making flirtatious gestures or remarks, or talking about her personal life, which includes hooking up with other people.
Author mpc Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 Bump... Anyone else care to weigh in?
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