Disillusioned Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Problem #1: most people who are hoping to meet someone, have no idea what kind of person they want to meet. I'm one of the few exceptions, I know what kind of woman I'd be happy with, and what kind I'd be unhappy with. Once I realized this, I had a pretty good idea why we have so many divorces and bad relationships in this country. Problem #2: they don't always know it, but singles are either keepers or players as far as relationships are concerned. Players live for the present... they like to flirt, tease, have a fling, then move on. Keepers OTOH live for the future... always thinking about marriage, home sweet home, and that kind of stuff. I think one of the reasons why the singles scene in the USA has become such a hell, is that the dating industry and even the singles themselves make no effort to separate the keepers from the players... so as a result, marriage-minded people and one-night-stand people get caught in a cycle of meeting and dumping each other. If keepers realized this and started meeting other keepers, guess what, you'd probably see more marriages and fewer divorces... while the players could go on happily having their orgies or whatever, into their 80s. Think about what I said. Are you a keeper, or a player?
Geishawhelk Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Problem #1: most people who are hoping to meet someone, have no idea what kind of person they want to meet. I'm one of the few exceptions, I know what kind of woman I'd be happy with, and what kind I'd be unhappy with. Once I realized this, I had a pretty good idea why we have so many divorces and bad relationships in this country. So how do you intend to eliminate the latter, and succeed with the former - if you don't date multiple people and discover this on the way? There's no formula, hard-written, carved-in-stone rules about this, you know. Love is entirely a game of chance, circumstance, place and time. Problem #2: they don't always know it, but singles are either keepers or players as far as relationships are concerned. Players live for the present... they like to flirt, tease, have a fling, then move on. Keepers OTOH live for the future... always thinking about marriage, home sweet home, and that kind of stuff. I think one of the reasons why the singles scene in the USA has become such a hell, is that the dating industry and even the singles themselves make no effort to separate the keepers from the players... so as a result, marriage-minded people and one-night-stand people get caught in a cycle of meeting and dumping each other. If keepers realized this and started meeting other keepers, guess what, you'd probably see more marriages and fewer divorces... while the players could go on happily having their orgies or whatever, into their 80s. Think about what I said. Are you a keeper, or a player? Everybody is both, at one time or another, for any period of time.... Trying to categorise people in this way is a lost cause, because people, emotionally, never fit into just one mould.... You'd get on very well with another poster, with similarly fixed, if somewhat bizarre ideas.....
Author Disillusioned Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 Go on believing what you want... but I was just giving my observation of how it works here in the States.
Geishawhelk Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Your impression is exactly that. Your impression. There are only perceptions, not facts, in cases such as these... And perceptions are entirely coloured by circumstances and experiences. So it would be fairer to say that this is an entirely personal evaluation, and you're open and prepared to be proved wrong...?
Author Disillusioned Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 OTOH what if I ask a bunch of other people (I've already asked 3), and they all agree? Does that mean I'm still wrong? Maybe you're the only one who's right, and everyone else is wrong... but I've always been a keeper, never saw anything appealing in the player lifestyle.
quankanne Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I've always been a keeper, though there was a phase in college where I was a bit ... wild ... and lived a player lifestyle, even though my goal was to find someone to love for the rest of my life. your theory is credible, but my spin is that the two types are not mutually exclusive.
Eve Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Problem #1: most people who are hoping to meet someone, have no idea what kind of person they want to meet. I'm one of the few exceptions, I know what kind of woman I'd be happy with, and what kind I'd be unhappy with. Once I realized this, I had a pretty good idea why we have so many divorces and bad relationships in this country. Problem #2: they don't always know it, but singles are either keepers or players as far as relationships are concerned. Players live for the present... they like to flirt, tease, have a fling, then move on. Keepers OTOH live for the future... always thinking about marriage, home sweet home, and that kind of stuff. I think one of the reasons why the singles scene in the USA has become such a hell, is that the dating industry and even the singles themselves make no effort to separate the keepers from the players... so as a result, marriage-minded people and one-night-stand people get caught in a cycle of meeting and dumping each other. If keepers realized this and started meeting other keepers, guess what, you'd probably see more marriages and fewer divorces... while the players could go on happily having their orgies or whatever, into their 80s. Think about what I said. Are you a keeper, or a player? I was thinking something simular whilst brushing my teeth the other day. It was a knee jerk response to some stupid programme I had been watching. Yes, I am a keeper but fell foul of a few players in my younger days. I got over the whole thing pretty quickly but still it would be much easier if people could be more honest and players simply go and play together. Maybe if we had a country specifically designated for players things would be a whole lot easier? At least they could keep their STDs and blood borne virus' to themselves! Personally I think that the best system has gone for good, never to return. I think the neanderthal days were probably the best system. The men went out, got the food and the women ran everything else - together. Everyone knew who they were, kids got looked after, less chance of drama because the men were out of the way until they were needed... Perfect system. Thats my take anyway. Regards, Eve xx
Author Disillusioned Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 Maybe if we had a country specifically designated for players things would be a whole lot easier? At least they could keep their STDs and blood borne virus' to themselves! Uhh, I was thinking more along the lines of dating services with separate keeper & player divisions... or "players only/keepers only" outfits. The companies would benefit, because fewer people would sue them and abuse the system. I can see how players would be good for their repeat business... keepers OTOH would be lousy at that, but they'd give the companies good reviews for matching them up with the person they're happy with. I think the neanderthal days were probably the best system. LOL! Believe it or not, I actually knew this other guy whose favorite pickup line was "how about I crack you over the head with a club and drag you back to my cave by your hair?" No word on what kind of woman he ended up with.
Lizzie60 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Used to be a keeper.. now I'm a player.. and enjoy every second of it..
Eve Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Uhh, I was thinking more along the lines of dating services with separate keeper & player divisions... or "players only/keepers only" outfits. The companies would benefit, because fewer people would sue them and abuse the system. I can see how players would be good for their repeat business... keepers OTOH would be lousy at that, but they'd give the companies good reviews for matching them up with the person they're happy with. LOL! Believe it or not, I actually knew this other guy whose favorite pickup line was "how about I crack you over the head with a club and drag you back to my cave by your hair?" No word on what kind of woman he ended up with. Oops sorry, I went a bit 'global' on you. In terms of dating agencies I think that there are agencies who cater exclusively to the needs of players... cant remember the site I was told about by someone. The idea you have come up with sounds goods. Good business idea. The neanderthal pick up line was bad.. but I think pick up lines generally are! Regards, Eve xx
Eve Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Used to be a keeper.. now I'm a player.. and enjoy every second of it.. I dont know where you find the time! I have always wondered how 'players' time manage everything.. mind boggling. The only avenue it could work for a woman is if she is a prostitute or a 'kept woman' - which amounts to the same thing methinks. I can see how for a younger person the time management side of things would not matter too much because when we are young we think we are immortal. Cant see where the satisfaction would come from to an older lady such as yourself. Nope, I dont get it! No offence to you obviously. I dont know you and how you 'time manage'. Practically thinking it could all be quite seedy. If I ever get my own country to try out the plan I mentioned earlier, you can be the Queen there Lizzie. Only thing is no children would be allowed to live there, so you would have to make a conscious choice between lifestyle and parenthood.. I bet most players would choose to continue playing. Regards, Eve xx
Author Disillusioned Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 I dont know where you find the time! I have always wondered how 'players' time manage everything.. mind boggling.Eve xx Eve, Even in this bad economy, there are a few people who have a lot of time and money to spend as they wish. I work with a guy like that, I know his job doesn't pay much, but he owns 3 boats, 2 trucks, and has a different gf every week. How does he do it? He bums off his mother and younger brother, of course! I should have it so lucky... I inherited my house, and ended up starting 2 businesses to make enough money for the taxes and bills because my day job isn't enough. OTOH if you know a woman who's looking for a man who fixes things and stays out of debt, here I am... I'll pay for her train ticket.
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