Flamenco81 Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Hi. Today I just came back from my first date with a girl that I had met through an online dating site. We have many things in common and overall it went well. We went to have drinks and were there for about 3 hours just talking the whole time, then we shared a subway ride back home because we get out at the same stop. So next week she is going away and comes back Thursday. So I am planning on calling her that day to see if she wants to go with me to a friend's dance show on Saturday night. And then maybe have dinner. Now I didn't really try to do anything or come on to her too strong tonight since it was just our first time meeting. But if she does agree to go out again then I feel I really have to let her know I am interested. In general I am pretty affectionate with my female friends, just little things like put my arm around them, or hug them, or touch their hair, etc. Not in like an obnoxious sleazy way or anything. But these are people I've known for a while and who know I don;t mean anything by it. So for this second date, should I try some form of physical contact throughout the night? Will it be too soon? I know it depends how the mood is going, but assuming we are having fun. What stuff could I play around with to show interests and get closer personally? Also would it be a good idea to offer to walk her home, or will that seem like really direct. Will she be like "yeah this guy is trying to see what he can get out of me tonight"??? Any input will be appreciated.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Light touches, arm around her shoulders briefly when you are walking around (sort of like a side hug), physical proximity, positive open body language (if you are not sure what I mean by that, google 'attraction and body language), etc. When it is time for goodnight, a nice full body close hug with maybe a kiss on the cheek or neck. That is how my second date went recently with a guy I've started seeing, and it worked well. Both of us were still a little nervous, but by the end of the night it was clear that attraction was reciprocal - the light physical stuff and an awesome close up hug was followed by a kiss on the cheek. I made it a kiss on the mouth because I was so crazy attracted to him. Let your girl do the same on the second date - when it comes to the kiss make it clear you want to kiss her but feel her out and see if she will make it on the mouth. If not, you always have the next date and you can make that move depending on her actions throughout the night.
Isolde Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Yeah, dancing is great for a second or third date. On the first date, light touching on the back is hot, maybe a kiss, but not more than that. I'd be weirded out if someone tried to hold my hand on a first date, most likely. BTW, I don't think it's the greatest idea to overdo the touching with your female friends. It's always best to keep body language free of ambiguity, IMO. If you are not attracted to a woman, whether she is a friend or someone you are going on a first date with, don't touch her. In the past, I always found the more a guy liked me--the LESS he touched me. Annoying. Try to avoid this, again, by assuming that touching communicates interest.
Recommended Posts