BobSacamento Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I have been in contact with this girl for several weeks. She initiated the contact which is rare for online dating and I am interested in her. Also she suggested to meet up the first time we talked since we lived so close which is also very rare. Anyway that fell through I suggested a place and time and she never got back to me. We would talk occasionally on AIM for a few weeks and then she stopped responding to my emails. I think I sent two like 4 days apart. I figured she wasn't interested so I continued my other pursuits. The out of the blue she IMs me. What's her deal? My theory is she, like me, is talking to several people. It's nice to know that I'm still an option however I'm affraid to ask her out again because, like she has said before "Sure if I'm free." isn't really a good way to set something up. She also has said she does not want clingy guys so I think she might be testing me. These games are wearing me out basically. Also I gave her my number because I know women like to talk before meeting up. I guess the hard part about this online dating crap is the art of how not to scare someone off. Some girls like to be asked out within a few weeks some months. Some might be turned off if offered a phone number within a few weeks. I will be honest and say it is frustrating and fun all at the same time haha
D-Lish Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Don't ask her out again... if it's going to happen, let her be the one to ask. I find people online very flaky. I've talked to one particular dude for 9 months and we've never met. I make some assumptions about these people: 1) they aren't who they say they are 2) they don't look like their pictures (common) 3) They are multi-dating 4) They are frustrated with the process themselves and sometimes can't be bothered to follow through with dates after so many failed attempts. 5) They are insecure and concerned about rejection. I'd just let her do the initiating- if she only reaches out once and a while, it means she isn't serious and should be deleted, blocked and forgotten about.
Crestfallen_KH Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 D's got some great points - and I agree, let her ask you out at this point. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong - I would have appreciated your approach personally. Online dating is very flaky - even for us women. I will say that when I acted flaky to a guy, it was either related to one of D's reasons, or: 1) I was still dealing with an ex coming in and out of my life and felt that I shouldn't meet someone until that was all cleared up. 2) I honestly just didn't find him that attractive in the first place OR he said something in an e-mail that just completely turned me off.
D-Lish Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 D's got some great points - and I agree, let her ask you out at this point. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong - I would have appreciated your approach personally. Online dating is very flaky - even for us women. I will say that when I acted flaky to a guy, it was either related to one of D's reasons, or: 1) I was still dealing with an ex coming in and out of my life and felt that I shouldn't meet someone until that was all cleared up. 2) I honestly just didn't find him that attractive in the first place OR he said something in an e-mail that just completely turned me off. These things are true as well. Currently, I am still stinging over a break up with an ex (um- that I met online)... So I haven't been feeling too excited about dating someone new. She asked you out right away correct? Then flaked? Might just be cold feet- or she might have someone else on the go and doesn't know what she wants to do. I actually had a great date with a guy- and I was positive he was going to call.... he even e-mailed me after and told me how impressed he was and wanted to take me out for dinner. Then I never heard from him again UNTIL 3 MONTHS LATER. He said "sorry about taking so long to call- I had met someone just before our date and we got together...but we are broken up now so I was wondering if you'd like to do that dinner" YEAH RIGHT. !!!! I never returned that call. Flakes- lots of flakes. I can be a flake sometimes with it.
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