not_a_happy_camper Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 couples everywhere...............love songs on the radio...................Puke! in my 25 years, there is only one valentines day when I wasn't single. up to then, it never mattered. it was just another day, and I still think of it like that...................I want to at least. But I'm missing what I had now.......... Oh I was doing so good! And I still am. I realise I'll have these moments still. I failed my driving test today, and so much was banking on passing............that when I failed I got pretty upset. First person I thought of................my ex. No one could hug away the pain like he could. (or cause it like he could). Just when I thought things were going well. I know today was a let down. And I'm sure I'm just feeling sorry for myself. But finding out last weekend that he's having regrets about everything.............................I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve, but 50% of my friends are telling me to bite the bullet and contact him......I don't want to! I want him to crawl back to me! He needs a large dose of humble pie!
Ronni_W Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 50% of my friends are telling me to bite the bullet and contact him......I don't want to! I want him to crawl back to me! He needs a large dose of humble pie! Maybe he just doesn't get the genuine humility does not mean also losing his dignity and self-respect? Or, maybe he's into that "cut my nose to spite my face" attitude, where it prevents us from following our own heart because we have the (wrong) belief that doing so will somehow make us "lesser beings"? You're right about Valentine-schmalentine! I don't get why couples need a "special" day to celebrate their love...shouldn't that be EVERY day?
Author not_a_happy_camper Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 so true ronni. I think if you can't show it everyday, why bother with one day that everyone else does it too?! you shouldn't need an excuse to put it out there that you care! I don't know what to think about my ex. I'd love to see him swallow his pride. it would mean a lot to me! but that's in la-la dreamworld. I feel like I can't keep guessing what's happening. It's just I mailed him that if he was ever home and felt like a coffee to let me know. that was last wednesday. on Saturday I heard he'd been regretting things...............whether it was he's regretting breaking up, or the way he behaved, or just the way it happened................I don't know. maybe he feels he made the right decision but just regrets it happened the way it did. I just wish I knew. I had been indifferent about him replying until I heard this, it's set me thinking a lot about him again. nowhere near as bad as I was, I don't think it's a major setback....................he replied to my email sunday, saying he'd like to meet up, he'll see me soon. nothing since then anyway. and maybe it's the day that's in it.......................I wish he'd contact me! to the extent again, that I'm like, just want to contact him and get it all out in the open! I can't do that. or won't?! I hate this! GAAAAAH!!!
Goatsbreath Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 hey happy camper, I feel yah. For me though, I honestly don't know how she feels about the breakup. At one point during the breakup when I was being pathetic and stupid, I asked her "don't this make you sad." She said "yes, but not like the intensity of what you seem to be feeling. I'm on some pretty strong anti-depressants. Have you thought about ever maybe getting on some." Haha, um.....no, this is a legitimate sadness I think I need to feel I responded. So my point is I guess I don't know if she even regrets anything at all but I imagine if I heard she was I would start pulling it apart and wondering what was meant by that statement. Did it mean the breakup itself or just how it happened or just in general, that the relationship did not work. Ok, well, I cant type anymore. I have cold fingers and its bugging me.
confused and broken Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Time to let go..... I have played on and off again lots and lots and it just sucks... Eventually you figure out why you broke up the first time and that of course you should have moved on right then and there...oh no... but instead you wasted two years of your life...don't make my mistakes I already made them for you.....
confused and broken Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 im takeing my girlfreind out to dinner tonite i buoght her a ring and im going to proposse to her theres this romanntic spot we go to to have car secks (can i spel l the 3 leteter word out or will i get censered) anyway i cant remember a single vallentines day when i didnt have somone specail to share it with it must be horibble to not have someones pecaial on valentimes day i just cant imagiene i tell her i love her evrey day an d she tells me why are you people all alone on valentiens day/? thanks buddy and if life is so amazing what are you doing chatting with all of the lonely love shackers
Asami Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Maybe he just doesn't get the genuine humility does not mean also losing his dignity and self-respect? Or, maybe he's into that "cut my nose to spite my face" attitude, where it prevents us from following our own heart because we have the (wrong) belief that doing so will somehow make us "lesser beings"? You're right about Valentine-schmalentine! I don't get why couples need a "special" day to celebrate their love...shouldn't that be EVERY day? tell me about it!
Author not_a_happy_camper Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 ok, well I just spoke to the person who told me he was having regrets.............and asked straight out, was it that he wanted to get back together, or was just having a hard time with the break-up. she said there was no mention of getting back together. it was more that he was finding this really difficult. and that she told me, because she thought I felt I had meant nothing to him. And she knew this was wrong, that I did mean a lot. I guess she didn't know what a can of worms she was opening in saying this to me! He dumped me, so I wonder how the hell can he be feeling crap about this three months later?! All I've read here, is dumpers don't give a crap because they already have detached themselves before they make the break................hate to break it people, such a generalisation! I know it's probably better to think that way for the sake of healing, but I"m so bloody angry over the last three months. I just had three pretty good weeks of feeling better. It was pointed out to me tonight, that someone merely has to mention his name to me, and my face just shows all the emotions, I've been burying it. But all you have to do is scratch the surface. I'm not ready to let go of this. I know everyone says closure comes from within. screw that. that is crap, it's not working. I keep asking everyone else questions, hoping to find the answers, when I should be asking him for answers. If he doesn't give them to me, fine. There's my closure. I can't keep asking other people. I hate this.
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