Lights Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 "You teach others how they should treat you." I've heard this said. Is there any truth to it? I've considered it, but I haven't been able to do the teaching too effectively. It's tough to teach people that one won't take any crap in social matters when crap is all one's culture ever is willing to offer one. Does anyone here have any thoughts about it?
Tony T Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 If somebody treats you poorly, let them know that it is unacceptable to do so. If they persist, simply get them out of your life. If they won't go away, call the police. Simple!
Author Lights Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 If somebody treats you poorly, let them know that it is unacceptable to do so. If they persist, simply get them out of your life. If they won't go away, call the police. Simple! I'm plenty good at cutting people out of my life, and even better at not having people in my life in the first place. I wasn't really referring to people threatening me or the like or anything that would involve the police. Mainly I'm just tired of being forced to put up with behaviors that other people wouldn't tolerate if it came from me, and I'd like to learn a way to teach the entire culture that I'm not going to stand for that any longer. It becomes a problem when refusing to deal with such kinds of people rules out the entire local culture.
Ronni_W Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I'm just tired of being forced to put up with behaviors that other people wouldn't tolerate if it came from me, and I'd like to learn a way to teach the entire culture I've interpreted the saying to mean that we GUIDE others to treat us properly by acting assertively, standing up for our own values, needs & goals, communicating our boundaries and expectations clearly and with kindness, etc. For me, though, it is more applicable to personal relationships...not so much that we can educate an "entire culture" as to our individual preferences, sensitivities, idiosyncrasies, etc. If it is that you've grown tired of attitudes of sexism, racism, ageism, or the like...general ignorance and/or closed-mindedness is much harder to eradicate in even a small group, nevermind an entire culture. Sad and unfortunate as that is. In that case, I guess we just gotta do our 'assertive thing' one person at a time...exhausting as that is.
Geishawhelk Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 This is Dr Phil's Law of Life (together with several others). Taken in context with the others, and as a rule, dealing with inter-personal relationships, I absolutely believe it to be wholly accurate, yes. #1 You either get it, or you don't. #2 You create your own experience. #3 People do what works #4 You can't change what you don't acknowledge. #5 Life Rewards Action #6 There is no Reality; only perception. #7 Life is managed, not cured. #8 We teach people how to treat us. #9 There is power in forgiveness #10 You have to name it, before you can claim it.
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