jojobean Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I dated this guy for a very brief period of time a few months ago. Things went great and we got along perfectly. I started to want to see where it would go and he did not, so we decided to be friends. I took the friends thing as a blow off, so thought O.K., whatever. I called a few weeks later to say hi and we chatted for a little while. We go to the same bars so we run into each other pretty regulary. I went out of town a few weeks ago so I did not go out that Saturday night. He called me during the week and commented on me now being there, asking why. He then called me a few days later to ask if I would be at the bar the following weekend and I was. When I got there he was very affectionate with me, then just kind of disappeared except for the few times he was just kind of standing around my friends, which has been his MO for a few months. Then the pattern is he will ignore my calls for a few days after seeing me in person. I guess what I want to know from this ramble is does he want to be friends or am I being blown off? I just find this behavious very strange and do not want to waste any energy on someone that does not want to talk to me. Thanks for any input
Kamille Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Stop wasting your energy. He isn't exactly blowing you off: he's just conveniently keeping you in sight. Nothing more. Time to move on. Stop calling him, that way there will be no calls he can ignore.
dreamergrl Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 He's only doing enough to just keep you around, nothing more. He's not putting forth effort. Who knows what he has on his other side. Not worth your time!
Author jojobean Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 I kind of figured a game was being played here I just was not sure what it was. I do not understand what he is trying to keep me around for. Neither of us have tried to have sex with each other since we stopped dating. I should have known something was not right with him because when we were dating, he threw all of the lines out, how I was perfect, pointing out all of the great things about me, talking about the future blah blah blah. Then when I expressed feelings for him, he bailed.
dreamergrl Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I wonder if he's seeing someone else, but isn't sure how it's going or something.
Author jojobean Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 He is definitely not seeing someone else
dreamergrl Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Then it sounds like he only wants to see you on his terms, so he has control over the relationship you have with him, whatever type of relationship one would classify that as.
Kamille Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I kind of figured a game was being played here I just was not sure what it was. I do not understand what he is trying to keep me around for. Neither of us have tried to have sex with each other since we stopped dating. I should have known something was not right with him because when we were dating, he threw all of the lines out, how I was perfect, pointing out all of the great things about me, talking about the future blah blah blah. Then when I expressed feelings for him, he bailed. It's all right for you to feel hurt, since you obviously hoped there was something there but I don't think he's playing a game or trying to be malicious. It sounds like he just doesn't know what he wants. Guess what? You deserve better then that.
Author jojobean Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 So, any chance of a normal friendship is non existent? That is unfortunate because we do get a long great and I like talking to him.
Island Girl Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 So, any chance of a normal friendship is non existent? That is unfortunate because we do get a long great and I like talking to him. Why would you want to be friends with a guy that is playing games at this level? He sounds like a moron.
d0ll Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I agree with everyone. I think once a guy knows you like him as more than a friend but he doesn't want to take it further he'll still keep you around because you're a potential f**k
Kamille Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 So, any chance of a normal friendship is non existent? That is unfortunate because we do get a long great and I like talking to him. Be honest with yourself... Could you be friends and not hope there is something more there? Take the time to be free of feelings for him before you start thinking about friendship.
Author jojobean Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Ran into him last night. The usual. Kiss on the cheek hello, arm around my waist while talking to me and my friends, blowing me a kiss from across the room, making funny faces at me to make me laugh, a quick inappropriate touch but the only conversation we had was me asking him how he was and him telling me his life is boring. I am so upset and angry at myself that I fell for this game from the beginning when we were dating then to be dumb enough to think that he wanted to be friends.
Lucky_One Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 His behavior last night indicates that he sees you out and is nice to you there in the hopes that you'll ask him to go home with you. Nothing more.
Author jojobean Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 His behavior last night indicates that he sees you out and is nice to you there in the hopes that you'll ask him to go home with you. Nothing more. That's not it because my friend had mentioned to him early in the evening that she was staying at my house last night. I'm just upset right now due to all of the things he said and did while we were dating made me think he cared enough to have a friendship, but I was proven wrong. I'll get over it, I just hate the confusion and the feeling of being played
Lucky_One Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Ok. Maybe he was hoping that you could get it on in a stall in the ladies' room. Or in the parking lot. Whatever he is looking for, he is NOT looking for a dating relationship, and if you were only looking for a friendship, then you wouldn't be trying to interpret his behaviors the way you are. You would accept that him giving a friend a hug or a cheek kiss is what friends do, and you would go on with your life.
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