Dating women is like customer service

[BCCA]

If she doesn't value his opinion then she won't care whether he has an opinion or not so why should he risk giving his opinion?

 

If she doesnt value his opinion, then shes not a good match.

 

Youre basic outlook on dating is to be as agreeable as possible, even if you dont agree, which will lead to resentment and inner turmoil. Also, no one in the world wants someone exactly like them. They want someone who has some common interests, but also has a mind of their own.

 

Chris, youre beyond dellusional if you think any of this advice is good. Its terrible, and probably a good reason that you cant meet anyone. And I agree with the other guy, I wear a suit everyday in California, and it wouldnt make you stand out at all. Its actually a lazy move, its like a uniform. You cant even decide on your own style, so youre just wearing a generic outfit. And what if your first date is to a bar or ballgame? A suit is out of place.

 

This advice, all of it, is horrible. Please stop the insanity and read some books by people who can offer good advice. You dont know a thing about dating, which is why one after another, women here are giving a big 'NO' to all your suggestions.

 

Women are people, not products being sold.

[Trimmer]

No my customers do not have to pay shipping and handling. This keeps them wanting to come back for more goods.

Hmm, just a month ago, your policy was "one date per woman per lifetime." Why would you worry if they were coming back?

 

No woman wants a man who is so self righteous that he thinks he's God's gift to women. There is a such thing as overconfidence. What you define as confidence I see as self righteousness.

You are blurring the line between confidence and arrogance. They coexist along a common axis, but they are two different things. If you cannot distinguish between confidence and arrogance (in your view of yourself) then perhaps you are right to be careful...

 

By the way I don't think women necessarily want a man who has his own opinion about things. If she has low interest level in him then she's not going to value his opinion in the first place.

 

If she doesn't value his opinion then she won't care whether he has an opinion or not so why should he risk giving his opinion?

 

For me I don't think it's a good idea to give my opinion during a discussion during my dates because more than likely she may react with a "who asked you?" attitude.

 

I think it's just basic manners and class not to give my opinion unless I'm asked for it.

WTF????

[anne1707]

What if the customer wants a refund because the goods are faulty?

[chris250]

If she doesnt value his opinion, then shes not a good match.

 

Youre basic outlook on dating is to be as agreeable as possible, even if you dont agree, which will lead to resentment and inner turmoil. Also, no one in the world wants someone exactly like them. They want someone who has some common interests, but also has a mind of their own.

 

Chris, youre beyond dellusional if you think any of this advice is good. Its terrible, and probably a good reason that you cant meet anyone. And I agree with the other guy, I wear a suit everyday in California, and it wouldnt make you stand out at all. Its actually a lazy move, its like a uniform. You cant even decide on your own style, so youre just wearing a generic outfit. And what if your first date is to a bar or ballgame? A suit is out of place.

 

This advice, all of it, is horrible. Please stop the insanity and read some books by people who can offer good advice. You dont know a thing about dating, which is why one after another, women here are giving a big 'NO' to all your suggestions.

 

Women are people, not products being sold.

 

 

Speak for yourself. You can't speak for everybody else when you claim that nobody wants someone exactly like them.

 

I know you are wrong on this one because I think it would be nice if I found someone just like me. The right person for me would be a female image of myself. It would be nice if she was like me in all aspects.

 

Do I expect her to be like me? No. I just happen to be more flexible. I'm not going to make it an automatic deal-breaker that she's not like me.

 

There are no what iffs about my first date. I will never go to a ballgame or bar on a 1st date. The first date is always coffee at starbucks.

 

I have no desire to read other books from relationship experts. These people are not God and I do not value their advice on anything they have to say. They are just trying to make money by selling their ideas. If you buy their material you are only helping making them rich. Their books are a waste of your money!

 

I never said women were goods to be sold. I said they are like customers who buy the goods. In order to succeed in customer service you have to be as agreeable with the customer as possible. It's the same in dating.

 

If it doesn't help you to see women as valuable customers then see them as judges in a courtroom. If you disagree with a judge he can make a lot of trouble for you even more so than customers can.

 

It's even more serious to stand up to a judge than a customer. Real life judges can do whatever they want. They can hold you in contempt for just being snappy or smart with them.

 

As a matter of fact the majority of judges are more inclined to take the woman's side in a divorce dispute or child custody dispute so us men might as well get used to looking at women as judges. She will likely want a communist relationship. Judges don't think men have any rights. Whatever is yours is hers and what's hers is hers.

[BCCA]

Ok, so you've obviously never stepped foot into a courtroom. I stand before judges all the time for work, and while they have the power to do things their own way, the law is the law, and the dont just make it up as they go. I wont go into details about the other stuff, because its just not accurate.

 

Women are human beings, just like the two of us. When you give them the impression that your sole purpose in life is to be their doormat, theyre going to get the idea that you dont value yourself very much. Truth be told, Chris, you obviously dont think very highly of yourself.

 

And you're putting on a suit and tie for coffee at starbucks? Why? I dont think youre impressing anyone. I certainly wouldnt be impressed by anyone getting dressed up to meet me for a cup of coffee. Sure, maybe dont wear sweatpants and a hoodie, but I want to know who someone REALLY is, and all youre doing is putting on a front.

 

I havent bought any books, so I wasnt reffering to me, Im just saying that you are definitely not the expert in this area, so maybe you should see what the experts have to say before deciding 'how it is' on your own. Several women here have told you that you are just flat out wrong, but you insist because its easier for you to believe what you want.

 

You're single and dont seem to be Don Juan by any stretch. Im not, either, but at least I can be rational. Just try and look at both sides of the coin, and realize that things arent always the way you want them to be.

[Woggle]

It is just sad how Chris seems perfectly happy with being a doormat. I wonder what happened to him to make him this way. Men like him are the end goal of feminism though.

[Geishawhelk]

Actually Woggle, although I understand your PoV, a 'True' feminist (and I've met some men who are feminists, my father being one of them) would also consider Chris a sad case.

 

No feminist wants a man like this around.

 

A Feminist would want a man who respects her position completely, without ever making him feel compromised or belittled.

A feminist wants a man who wants the same things she wants, and supports him 110% in his life goals too.

[Woggle]

True feminists are an endangered species though. What has replaced is women who want all men tyo be like him or at least think they do.

[chris250]

I support the feminist movement completely. I do not believe that the man should be the leader of the household.

 

I for one do not need a woman to support my life goals. My goals are my personal business. I don't need anyone to support me in those goals. Yes even when we are in a relationship I am still an individual with personal goals.

 

If I wait around for someone to support me before pursuing my goals then I'll never get anything done. I don't have time to worry about getting support before pursuing goals.

[alphamale]

It's more important for a man to stand up for his girlfriend than standing up TO his girlfriend.

i think both are equally important

[Woggle]

I support the feminist movement completely. I do not believe that the man should be the leader of the household.

 

I for one do not need a woman to support my life goals. My goals are my personal business. I don't need anyone to support me in those goals. Yes even when we are in a relationship I am still an individual with personal goals.

 

If I wait around for someone to support me before pursuing my goals then I'll never get anything done. I don't have time to worry about getting support before pursuing goals.

 

Feminists aren't you proud of what you have created?

[Trimmer]

I support the feminist movement completely. I do not believe that the man should be the leader of the household.

 

I for one do not need a woman to support my life goals. My goals are my personal business. I don't need anyone to support me in those goals. Yes even when we are in a relationship I am still an individual with personal goals.

 

If I wait around for someone to support me before pursuing my goals then I'll never get anything done. I don't have time to worry about getting support before pursuing goals.

 

Feminists aren't you proud of what you have created?

I feel like we've entered a double mind-warp here... I'm not sure there's a way out...

[collegekid491]

Lol, Chris man.... did someone pee in your cornflakes this morning???

 

Thats a very cynical view. In fact, the opposite is true, girls WON'T rule over you unless you let them. Grow a pair and be a man, this little rant only shows your immaturity, no wonder you have such a bleak outlook on the subject. In fact it should be retitled What it's like for a girl who dates Chris.

[anne1707]

What it's like for a girl who dates Chris.

 

It would not be a long thread - no one to post.

[blondesmiler]

Most women would like an equal not a doormat. Someone you can banter with, discuss issues with and that person has an opinion.

 

Life would be boring if you always got your own way, and you would soon get bored with that person, they would become spineless, dull, boring.

[chris250]

Most women would like an equal not a doormat. Someone you can banter with, discuss issues with and that person has an opinion.

 

Life would be boring if you always got your own way, and you would soon get bored with that person, they would become spineless, dull, boring.

 

I doubt it. Most people are selfish. Who wouldn't want to have their way all the time? I know I'm selfish. Everyone has selfish reasons for giving me advice here. I know nobody has my best interests at heart.

 

I just can't go around assuming that a woman would value my opinion.

 

She would have to like me first before she would be interested in my opinion on anything.

 

First things first. A woman's interest level comes before she'll want a man's opinion. I say worry about the girl liking me first before worrying about giving my opinion.

 

A woman wants a man who exercises good manners by not giving out his opinion unless she asks for it too. If I just shout out my opinion without being asked then I run the risk of her reacting with "who asked you?" attitude.

[blondesmiler]

I doubt it. Most people are selfish. Who wouldn't want to have their way all the time? I know I'm selfish. Everyone has selfish reasons for giving me advice here. I know nobody has my best interests at heart.

 

Because its boring having your way all the time, if you can have any sweet in a sweet shop all day every day for free, eventually your going to want to go to McDonalds too have something different and challenge your tastebuds.

 

I just can't go around assuming that a woman would value my opinion.

 

She would have to like me first before she would be interested in my opinion on anything.

 

Agree with your opinion no she doesn't, but be respectful that everyone has there own opinion on certain subjects and things or move on ~ clearly you do not agree and lay down like linolen because you are always being ANTI against what everyone says on here, so why not do that in real life!

 

Yes she would have too like you, that you need to work on but better to be hated for who you are than liked for someone your not!

 

First things first. A woman's interest level comes before she'll want a man's opinion. I say worry about the girl liking me first before worrying about giving my opinion.

 

Yes this is going to be a problem for you, you really do not have any clue about women or sadly are willing to listen the lovely LS ladies opinions, even the LS guys actually.

 

You are too closed off, thats why you cannot get a girl too like you. Open your mind to ideas and fresh thinking.

 

A woman wants a man who exercises good manners by not giving out his opinion unless she asks for it too. If I just shout out my opinion without being asked then I run the risk of her reacting with "who asked you?" attitude.

 

No one said shout, just if someone has opinions, beliefts, wants then they should have the balls to speak up and be able to discuss them, male or female.

[chris250]

Because its boring having your way all the time, if you can have any sweet in a sweet shop all day every day for free, eventually your going to want to go to McDonalds too have something different and challenge your tastebuds.

 

 

Agree with your opinion no she doesn't, but be respectful that everyone has there own opinion on certain subjects and things or move on ~ clearly you do not agree and lay down like linolen because you are always being ANTI against what everyone says on here, so why not do that in real life!

 

 

 

I think you are comparing apples with oranges. Taste buds and human beings are totally different things. I don't think this is a good analogy.

 

And what you said about being disagreeable on here but not in real life is because I know there is a time and a place for everything.

 

There is a time and a place to speak out aggressively about what I believe in and there's a time & place to keep my mouth shut.

 

I assume that a forum like this would be very opinionated and therefore it is appropriate for me to be opinionated on here and not pull any punches.

 

But when I'm out on a date with a woman I find that it usually works in my favor to let her do most of the talking. The more I keep my mouth shut the less likely I will say something that will ruin her interest level.

 

Afterall I have no business opening my mouth unless what I'm about to say is for the purpose of raising her interest level. If I'm not sure it's going to raise her interest level why would I talk about it?

 

I use the analogy of customer service. In the workplace is also a time and place not to be so opinionated. Customer service is top priority even when they are being rude to me over the phone.

 

If everyone on here acted the same way when dealing with customers then we'd all be out of a job in a heartbeat.

[Trimmer]

I think you are comparing apples with oranges. Taste buds and human beings are totally different things. I don't think this is a good analogy.

And yet, you think customer service and dating is a good analogy, to the degree that you keep coming back to it to justify your dating behavior?

 

That works as long as you look at a relationship as a mechanical interaction where you just have a need to exchange specific and narrow set of "goods" for currency. You you don't really have to care about each other on the inside, but it's to your benefit to put on an act to keep the other party coming back. You think that's a good analogy?

 

 

But when I'm out on a date with a woman I find that it usually works in my favor to let her do most of the talking. The more I keep my mouth shut the less likely I will say something that will ruin her interest level.

So this "works" then. What has it achieved for you? And I don't mean in the abstract "raising her interest level" or "keeping her interest up." I mean in terms of getting laid, getting multiple dates with the same woman, establishing a long term relationship... In order to say "it works" we need to know if we are measuring results in the same way, if I find the same things "valuable" in a relationship that you do.

[chris250]

And yet, you think customer service and dating is a good analogy, to the degree that you keep coming back to it to justify your dating behavior?

 

That works as long as you look at a relationship as a mechanical interaction where you just have a need to exchange specific and narrow set of "goods" for currency. You you don't really have to care about each other on the inside, but it's to your benefit to put on an act to keep the other party coming back. You think that's a good analogy?

 

 

 

So this "works" then. What has it achieved for you? And I don't mean in the abstract "raising her interest level" or "keeping her interest up." I mean in terms of getting laid, getting multiple dates with the same woman, establishing a long term relationship... In order to say "it works" we need to know if we are measuring results in the same way, if I find the same things "valuable" in a relationship that you do.

 

 

There's no proof that it doesn't work. That's the point. I've never been dumped for keeping my mouth shut.

 

The taste bud analogy is bad because I would like to have a free cake available everyday. Getting bored with free cakes is how I've chosen to react. I can choose not to get bored with free cakes.

 

Getting bored with someone is a choice that you make. You choose to react with boredom when you always get your way. Your reaction to getting your way all the time is something that is within your control.

 

That's fine if some women get bored with me but they need to take responsibility for their reactions to the kind of person I am. They choose to react with boredom instead of learning to appreciate the good qualities about me.

 

Why should I change the way I am just because someone else finds it boring? For every woman that finds me boring there's at least 10 that don't.

 

Why is it my responsibility to control how women react to me? It's not my problem.

[tigereyes12]

This is...not a good tactic, my friend. I think most intelligent women want to be with men who are individuals with opinions and thoughts of their own...not cheesy schticks.

[blondesmiler]

I think you are comparing apples with oranges. Taste buds and human beings are totally different things. I don't think this is a good analogy.

 

And what you said about being disagreeable on here but not in real life is because I know there is a time and a place for everything.

 

There is a time and a place to speak out aggressively about what I believe in and there's a time & place to keep my mouth shut.

 

I assume that a forum like this would be very opinionated and therefore it is appropriate for me to be opinionated on here and not pull any punches.

 

But when I'm out on a date with a woman I find that it usually works in my favor to let her do most of the talking. The more I keep my mouth shut the less likely I will say something that will ruin her interest level.

 

Afterall I have no business opening my mouth unless what I'm about to say is for the purpose of raising her interest level. If I'm not sure it's going to raise her interest level why would I talk about it?

 

I use the analogy of customer service. In the workplace is also a time and place not to be so opinionated. Customer service is top priority even when they are being rude to me over the phone.

 

If everyone on here acted the same way when dealing with customers then we'd all be out of a job in a heartbeat.

 

You do not need to be aggressive at anytime.

 

Your anagolgy is no better than mine. You just don't accept what I or anyone else says to you as to be true. So am unsure as too why you come on here, if you already know the answers to everything in life?

 

I can have an opnion in work. Also the customer is not always right and as such you have to convey to them infact that they (in my job as Business Manager for a Bank) have not conducted their account as is stated in the terms and conditions or as agreed.

 

 

 

There's no proof that it doesn't work. That's the point. I've never been dumped for keeping my mouth shut.

 

The taste bud analogy is bad because I would like to have a free cake available everyday. Getting bored with free cakes is how I've chosen to react. I can choose not to get bored with free cakes.

 

Getting bored with someone is a choice that you make. You choose to react with boredom when you always get your way. Your reaction to getting your way all the time is something that is within your control.

 

That's fine if some women get bored with me but they need to take responsibility for their reactions to the kind of person I am. They choose to react with boredom instead of learning to appreciate the good qualities about me.

 

Why should I change the way I am just because someone else finds it boring? For every woman that finds me boring there's at least 10 that don't.

 

Why is it my responsibility to control how women react to me? It's not my problem.

 

Attraction is not all about looks nor is it about attraction in the beginning.

 

So what is attraction well eyes, smile, personality, opinons, views, interests, conversation skills, hair, dress sense, job, weight, how they are with other people, their kindness (if thats your thing tis mine), affections,

 

So in need to attract and keep attracting a mate, all they way through your relationship you need to be attractive too them.

 

Most women do not want a doormat with no opinion, no backbone. Remember the scene in Coming to America when Eddie Murphey says to one of his potential arranged suitor, bark like a dog and she does, hop on one leg and she does ~ he is bored with her. Same goes for women.

 

Although some of us might not like agressive men, most of us like men to be men and speak up about something the feel strongly about, talk about interesting topics that spark different views, that can be assertive when making a complaint about bad customer service or food etc, that can banter with his lady.

 

If you truly didn't believe that, you would not post any responses to what any women says on here. Real life or not if your really thought that its your place to be silent in life you would on here too.

 

But let me guess, shortly you will be on here disagreeing with me or another again.

 

Do you not think that so many people saying you might be incorrect, that you actually might be about certain things?

[chris250]

You do not need to be aggressive at anytime.

 

Your anagolgy is no better than mine. You just don't accept what I or anyone else says to you as to be true. So am unsure as too why you come on here, if you already know the answers to everything in life?

 

I can have an opnion in work. Also the customer is not always right and as such you have to convey to them infact that they (in my job as Business Manager for a Bank) have not conducted their account as is stated in the terms and conditions or as agreed.

 

 

 

 

 

Attraction is not all about looks nor is it about attraction in the beginning.

 

So what is attraction well eyes, smile, personality, opinons, views, interests, conversation skills, hair, dress sense, job, weight, how they are with other people, their kindness (if thats your thing tis mine), affections,

 

So in need to attract and keep attracting a mate, all they way through your relationship you need to be attractive too them.

 

Most women do not want a doormat with no opinion, no backbone. Remember the scene in Coming to America when Eddie Murphey says to one of his potential arranged suitor, bark like a dog and she does, hop on one leg and she does ~ he is bored with her. Same goes for women.

 

Although some of us might not like agressive men, most of us like men to be men and speak up about something the feel strongly about, talk about interesting topics that spark different views, that can be assertive when making a complaint about bad customer service or food etc, that can banter with his lady.

 

If you truly didn't believe that, you would not post any responses to what any women says on here. Real life or not if your really thought that its your place to be silent in life you would on here too.

 

But let me guess, shortly you will be on here disagreeing with me or another again.

 

Do you not think that so many people saying you might be incorrect, that you actually might be about certain things?

 

 

That's not true. Unlike you I can choose when & where I will speak my mind and when I will not. I have control and can be selective about when to take a stand and when to let things slide.

 

I select the battles I want to stand up for. It's my place to be silent depending on the time and place I'm in. I don't act the same way in a church as I would in a classroom. I don't act the same way at work as I do when I'm walking down the street.

 

I am more aggressive on here because I can afford to be. I don't see this place as a social networking site for making friends so I can afford to be more aggressive. Nobody here knows me. It's an annoymous message board. I'm nobody but a faceless stranger like you!

 

It's called having a time and place for everything. This is why nobody here can accurately predict how successful I will be with women because they do not know how I act in the offline world. You assume that everybody acts the same way in all places at all times!

 

All everyone here has done so far is told me that I need to change who I am. Well I don't want to change who I am. Why is it my problem if other women do not like the real me? They choose not to like the real me. Why am I responsible for their decisions?

 

I have my personal things that I'm attracted to in a woman but you know what I take responsibility for it. I don't make it another woman's problem if I'm turned off by certain things. I choose to be turned off. That's my problem and my loss.

 

And not everyone is like you. I have said before that I would like to have my own way all the time. If it were possible I would love to have a free cake everyday. I eat the same subway sandwich everyday for lunch and I never get bored with it. So your taste bud analogy is terrible!

 

I've been eating the same flavor of ice cream everyday for the last 10 years. I'm still not bored with it. Some of us actually do like routine. Some of us do not want a challenge.

 

You can't speak for all women and I cannot speak for all men. To say that all women want a challenge is like saying all men want sex. Not everyone wants a challenge. I know I don't. I would learn to appreciate things that come easy. We're not animals. We can choose to take something for granted or appreciate it. It's all about programming your mindset.

 

By the way if your business establishment does not adhere to the policy that the customer is always right then all I can say is good luck with making good profits and staying in business. The death of your establishment will come soon enough if you don't subscribe to that mentality.

 

You are basically cutting off your nose to spite your face. Why? because that customer will go around talking bad about your establishment and hopefully discourage enough people from buying anything there.