lookingforward1 Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 This is the first time I have been on this site, and it looks like just where I need to be. I have had an on again off again relationship with a man who is so completely wrong for me. He has been verbally abusive in ways I have never experienced. He has stolen from me, damaged my house, cheated on me, lied thousands of times, sells drugs, and disappears frequently. Everything a person should avoid in a partner, I have put up with. I am a professional, a mother, a college graduate, financially stable and am told I could "get any man I want." Instead I put up with him... I know he is totally wrong for me and have told him to go find someone else. The other day he did and I absolutely panicked. I feel totally crazy for these feelings, and badly for giving him mixed messages since I know he did a lot to change his ways so I would commit to him. He explained his poor behavior on my lack of commitment in the past, and said he never felt I was totally in the relationship with him (which I wasn't because I didn't trust him! A bad cycle). In any case, I have completely fallen apart over his finally moving on, and I feel terrified. If he asked me back I would say no, yet I can't take the feeling of being abandoned. As I write this I am ashamed and incredulous of my behavior. I have had years of therapy, and know this is crazy. My issues of abandonment are getting the best of me, and I'm sure of him. I need help to let this go... to let him go, and to stop this awful cycle. Even though intellectually I know this is nuts, the pain feels so deep and so big that I feel terrified. My friends try to help, but I feel more alone than ever. Thank you, if possible, for not judging me. I feel badly enough as it is and just want help to treat myself and him better by letting go of a relationship that I know is wrong.
KRN1126 Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I know exactly what that feels like because i was i a similar situation!!! And it's like no matter what ur friends or family say to encourage you....you still feel like crap!!! Cause you keep asking yourself...."If im such a good catch like they say...then why am i continually being hurt??" Don't ever torment yourself like that!!! Think of your strengths...You have a degree, You are a mother, and you are opening up your heart to heal!!! There are so many people who cannot have children, or cannot get a degree because they are poor with no family and no friends!!! Take the negative energy and use it to become a Better YOU, so that when That right guy does come along....YOU WON'T BE BITTER!!!!! Im telling you, carrying your baggage from an old relationship into a new one is not a good look, because your not giving them a chance to prove themself. You will be ok!!! The best revenge on an EX is when They see that you've moved on and done better without them!!! Even if you never see him again just know..KARMA IS REAL and he will feel your pain in one way or the other TRUST ME!!!!
Author lookingforward1 Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 I know exactly what that feels like because i was i a similar situation!!! And it's like no matter what ur friends or family say to encourage you....you still feel like crap!!! Cause you keep asking yourself...."If im such a good catch like they say...then why am i continually being hurt??" Don't ever torment yourself like that!!! Think of your strengths...You have a degree, You are a mother, and you are opening up your heart to heal!!! There are so many people who cannot have children, or cannot get a degree because they are poor with no family and no friends!!! Take the negative energy and use it to become a Better YOU, so that when That right guy does come along....YOU WON'T BE BITTER!!!!! Im telling you, carrying your baggage from an old relationship into a new one is not a good look, because your not giving them a chance to prove themself. You will be ok!!! The best revenge on an EX is when They see that you've moved on and done better without them!!! Even if you never see him again just know..KARMA IS REAL and he will feel your pain in one way or the other TRUST ME!!!! Thank you for responding. Just reading your thoughts helps a lot. I know I am so lucky and extremely fortunate. I appreciate your encouragement and it really helps to know someone understands!
Recommended Posts