StrawberryStrawberry Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Hello, I'm new here and this is my first thread. I'm trying to keep it cool but it's all bottled up and I have no one to talk to about this. I think I'd be too embarrassed to admit my fears IRL, and I hope to find some help and any advice. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, going on 5 years this year. I could not be more in love and everyday I find something to endear him more to me. But the problem is he's leaving me in less than 3 years. He's going to reside permanently in another country, get a job and spend the rest of his life there. Last year, the day he informed me that after he graduates he's leaving for good was the most defining and critical point of my life. I've never really thought about the future, about us or where we were going because I held the belief he was the one I was going to spend a long time with (I was too young to think of 'the rest of my life') but then he gradually told me of his other plans: He was going to graduate, go to another country since all his family's already there, get a job, find a bachelor's pad where him and his buds will share, be successful in his career, and then maybe travel the world. I just looked at him and felt so far away. I didn't even have space for his future... and I realized that I never did and I never will. Nothing was mentioned about me or about us. There he was, saying all that to me, no vagueness about it that's for sure. I smiled at him and I wanted to say, "that sounds like fun!" but for some reason my throat was too full. I read somewhere, "Everyday takes us closer to the end" and all that I do nowadays is just cope and accept. But every night I can't stop thinking on how it would feel to say goodbye. I don't want to, but what can I do. He's going to leave and I will be the last person to stop him and hold him back and ask him to stay. That would be incredibly selfish and an insult to all that he has worked hard for. Any INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH advice please on how I can cope better and how I can stop myself from going crazy mad with heartache. You might be wondering why I'm staying with him until today. Well, he has asked that I stay with him until he goes and I stupidly said yes. I've invested too much of my heart with him. I didn't have the courage to say otherwise. Anybody say something to me
Peter_pan Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 well that sucks, how old are you? sounds like you met to young. he clearly dosnt think of you in the same way that you think of him. i believe everything happens for a reason. so try not to worry about it. sorry to hear of that news. at least he isnt leaving you for a new girl or leave without any saying a word xx
eske Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Hello, I'm new here and this is my first thread. I'm trying to keep it cool but it's all bottled up and I have no one to talk to about this. I think I'd be too embarrassed to admit my fears IRL, and I hope to find some help and any advice. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, going on 5 years this year. I could not be more in love and everyday I find something to endear him more to me. But the problem is he's leaving me in less than 3 years. He's going to reside permanently in another country, get a job and spend the rest of his life there. Last year, the day he informed me that after he graduates he's leaving for good was the most defining and critical point of my life. I've never really thought about the future, about us or where we were going because I held the belief he was the one I was going to spend a long time with (I was too young to think of 'the rest of my life') but then he gradually told me of his other plans: He was going to graduate, go to another country since all his family's already there, get a job, find a bachelor's pad where him and his buds will share, be successful in his career, and then maybe travel the world. I just looked at him and felt so far away. I didn't even have space for his future... and I realized that I never did and I never will. Nothing was mentioned about me or about us. There he was, saying all that to me, no vagueness about it that's for sure. I smiled at him and I wanted to say, "that sounds like fun!" but for some reason my throat was too full. I read somewhere, "Everyday takes us closer to the end" and all that I do nowadays is just cope and accept. But every night I can't stop thinking on how it would feel to say goodbye. I don't want to, but what can I do. He's going to leave and I will be the last person to stop him and hold him back and ask him to stay. That would be incredibly selfish and an insult to all that he has worked hard for. Any INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH advice please on how I can cope better and how I can stop myself from going crazy mad with heartache. You might be wondering why I'm staying with him until today. Well, he has asked that I stay with him until he goes and I stupidly said yes. I've invested too much of my heart with him. I didn't have the courage to say otherwise. Anybody say something to me Hi.. How old r u?? Well saying goodbye is really a difficult thing to do.. i have been through that and let me tell u it is very difficult.. my now ex is going to get married in some 12 hrs time. we were together for 3 years.. but after the 1st year we realized that we could not be together(her parents wanted her to marry somewhere else and she didnt want to disappoint them).. i know she cared for me and needed me and vice versa.. i STUCK on with her for the next 2 years as a friend(we met twice in 2 years) and now i am facing the inevitable.. i am facing the dreaded "goodbye".. i said goodbye to her some 4 days back.. and i feel numb.. i feel senseless and i cry a lot.. i cry not because i am not with her(i slowly accepted that over the 2 years) but i just cry for the goodbye.. i have in a way lost a friend.. and no matter how hard i try i cannot be as close to her as i were before.. now she will be married.. i know she also didnt want her to get married that way or to some1 else.. but u know sometimes u dont get wat u want no matter how hard or bad u want.. i just pray for her daily and wish for her good life and i am sure she does the same for me.. Good byes... u still have lots of time left why do u even want to say good bye.. try talkin to him about ur feelings and he will respond to u.. u have lots of time to think about it and work on it.. good byes are very difficult.. why dont u talk to him.. take care. its good that u feel that u will be selfish if u stop him from going ahead and pursuing his career.. ur thinkin is very mature.. hope things never go bad for u..
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