Rogue52 Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 So, I had been with a girl for 6 years. We were engaged and getting married in May. This past October she claimed she wasn't sure if she was ready to get married. Things progressed and it turned into doubts about me. She decided we needed space and moved out in early January. Since October, I was doing everything possible to make things right. Never even considered NC. There was an old guy friend involved who she was "just friends with". Well, I find out after she moved out that she actually had cheated on me with him. I had already dealt with a lot and almost knew it to be true, so I took a few days and decided that I'd still be friends with her. A few weeks passed and I started to get the feeling that she was taking our friendship for granted and I just couldn't deal with it. I went NC, but it didn't last long and we started talking and hanging out again in the last 2 weeks. During this time, she started to tell me how much she missed me and blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm thinking that if I play my cards right, we can get back together. Fast forward to 36 hours ago, we plan to go to dinner together. On the way there, she tells me she has something important to talk about. I figured it was to say she was dating the guy. Nope! The "just friend" got her pregnant. Then went on to say that she's more confident about this guy after a couple months of talking than she ever was with me after being together for 6 years. FOR EVERYONE WHO THINKS THINGS CAN WORK OUT, DO NOT BE LED ON. THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL. You think that they still love you and they'll come back, they won't. If they do, it's going to need time and a lot of it. In the meantime, don't screw yourself over and try to be friends. They'll only hurt you more. I disagreed with the obsession about NC on this board, but I've changed my tune. Just remember, it might be your ex that turns pregnant with someone else one month after moving out.
Template Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Damn!! That truly, truly, truly sucks for you dude. I know how you feel, as I once too had a gf of about 5 years got pregnant (well announced it anyways) 3 week after she broke up with me. I don't know if she cheated on me, but I had my suspicions (like underwear twice the size of what I usually wear in our bedroom, suspicion). Word to the wise to everyone, just to elaborate on this - the majority of the time, "friends" do not work out. ONLY when you are both completely over each other can this work. Not a minute sooner. Stay NC, and stay on the road to happiness.
BCCA Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Wow man, I cant even being to say I know how you feel. Thats plain aweful, and the worst part is, somehow she's rationalizing it being ok to someone right now. That is one of the worst things I've heard in a long while, I'm so sorry you have to go through that. It is true, though, the writing is usually on the wall.
UCLAMike Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 So, I had been with a girl for 6 years. We were engaged and getting married in May. This past October she claimed she wasn't sure if she was ready to get married. Things progressed and it turned into doubts about me. She decided we needed space and moved out in early January. Since October, I was doing everything possible to make things right. Never even considered NC. There was an old guy friend involved who she was "just friends with". Well, I find out after she moved out that she actually had cheated on me with him. I had already dealt with a lot and almost knew it to be true, so I took a few days and decided that I'd still be friends with her. A few weeks passed and I started to get the feeling that she was taking our friendship for granted and I just couldn't deal with it. I went NC, but it didn't last long and we started talking and hanging out again in the last 2 weeks. During this time, she started to tell me how much she missed me and blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm thinking that if I play my cards right, we can get back together. Fast forward to 36 hours ago, we plan to go to dinner together. On the way there, she tells me she has something important to talk about. I figured it was to say she was dating the guy. Nope! The "just friend" got her pregnant. Then went on to say that she's more confident about this guy after a couple months of talking than she ever was with me after being together for 6 years. FOR EVERYONE WHO THINKS THINGS CAN WORK OUT, DO NOT BE LED ON. THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL. You think that they still love you and they'll come back, they won't. If they do, it's going to need time and a lot of it. In the meantime, don't screw yourself over and try to be friends. They'll only hurt you more. I disagreed with the obsession about NC on this board, but I've changed my tune. Just remember, it might be your ex that turns pregnant with someone else one month after moving out. Bolded part shows just how foolish this girl is. This isn't true and she will find out sooner or later. Mark my words. She will call again and come begging saying she made a terrible mistake. It's true she did. This woman is not for you, and I really can't see how she is good for anyone as a matter of fact. She just F'd her life over and she will pay it for a long time. As hard as it is for you to hear me out on this, she was never meant for u so dont feel regretful. You don;t even have to miss her. YOU ARE FREE. What she does is none of your business and vice versa. Wish her well and move on. Get a smart girl next time. There really is a good girl out there trust me. I have girlfriends who I wouldn't mind marrying. I know there are good girls with good heads on their shoulders. Be strong my friend, don't go down that rocky path.
BCCA Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Bolded part shows just how foolish this girl is. I generally think people make those statements more to convince themselves than others. And if that was really true, what does that say about her?
JoL Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I can guarantee you, bet anything you want - this girl will end up in a mess in times to come and then she will come running back for your support. Believe me, it always happens. Just cut her off. 100%. Not a word of contact. Nothing. Delete her from anything internet based- messenger, facebook, whatever. Delete her number. JUST DELETE HER FROM YOUR LIFE. I know it will hurt, you will be in pain, you will suffer, there will be moments where you will be consumed by thoughts of her and what she is doing...but you MUST be strong. You need to discard this person and move on with YOUR happiness- which is NOT with this girl. She threw 6 years into your face by dabbling in typical "the grass is greener on the other side" behaviour. Believe me, the whole having confidence in this guy in 2 months crap it's all about the honeymoon period. 6 years is a long time ago. I am sure that when you started dating it was all love, happiness and wonder. Her logic is messed up- and so will her life be when she realises a year into that she is stuck to a guy she has a kid with and is no longer head-over-heels for. The honeymoon phase will fade, and so will her interest in the new guy when it's not all roses and romance anymore. Move on my friend. You deserve to purge your life of her and move on.
openbook08 Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 sweet jeezuz that is just horrific silly SILLY girl sigh hugs for you X
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