He says he doesn't want a relationship with me, but still wants to "hang out"??

[avacakes]

No more waffling or letting him back in. You must be firm with yourself and not take his calls, reach out to him, or respond to him. If he truly wants and loves you, he will do whatever it takes to PROVE to you that he should be in your life. He doesn't deserve you, and you DESERVE to be with a man who will show you and tell you how he feels, and as long as this guy is in the picture, you won't allow others in. Best of luck to you honey!

 

Thank you That is pretty much what my friends have been trying to drill into my head as well....that as long as I'm in this situation and waiting for him, that I won't even be open to anyone else. And I do realize this, it's just been so freaking hard to let go . I feel like I'm given him so many chances, and in the process have given him that many chances more to hurt me.

[LeroyJose]

You're right Ava. I understand where you're coming from. You know, IMO, most people decide not on what's always right but on what they feel is right... again, this is just my opinion.

[dwightl]

It's been going on too long-this crazy limbo. We dated a few months after he came home from Iraq, and those months were great...then he pulled away, we broke up and this back and forth hot and cold randomness has been going on for about 8 months. I know, what sane person would stay and endure that? Like I said before, I feel like this is driving me insane. I'm hoping that I am strong enough to walk away once and for all. I don't want to hate him, or hold a grudge....I just want to not feel this way.

 

Don't rush yourself too much. Give yourself some time. Don't totally isolate yourself to him. Just maintain some distance for now.

[bluehare07]

It's been going on too long-this crazy limbo. We dated a few months after he came home from Iraq, and those months were great...then he pulled away, we broke up and this back and forth hot and cold randomness has been going on for about 8 months. I know, what sane person would stay and endure that? Like I said before, I feel like this is driving me insane. I'm hoping that I am strong enough to walk away once and for all. I don't want to hate him, or hold a grudge....I just want to not feel this way.

 

hi avacakes, I'm glad to know that you're not holding any grudge against him. It's a major leap on setting yourself free. Don't ever think that you can't do it. Remember, you'll get yourself hurt no matter what you chose for now. Better chose the option that will benefit you most.

 

Good luck...

[dwightl]

hope you're doin' fine avacakes..

[avacakes]

hope you're doin' fine avacakes..

 

Thank you. you're too sweet. I am doing ok...the update on this situation is that I am trying to detach and maintain some distance from him, even though I feel that I'm still in love with him.

 

The good thing is, he just went on a 2 week field op (he's in the military) so there won't be any temptation to see him and to let him come over, and he won't be able to just "drop by". So this will hopefully give me a chance to have some emotional and physical distance and really think about things....although with his actions and the indifferent way he's treated me there probably shouldn't be much to think about. Still the heart doesn't always agree with the brain...sigh...but hopefully I can get some clarity.