WHAT13 Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 I have been with my bf for about 3 years and we have lived together for the past year and a half. Things have been rocky between us for a while now. He had cheated on me in the past and I broke up with him. However, he made alot of effort to show me he has changed. He seeked professional counceling and after months of talking to him as friends we decided to get back together. Things between us were going pretty well for a while. He is bi-polar and not on meds so I understand that he is going to have bad days. I do my best to understand. However, lately he has been so mentally abusive. I dont really want to get into the details. He has been telling me lately, that he just hates me and doesnt know why. However, that same day he will say stuff like... "when you and me get married can we play this song?" I kind of just look at him w/ a blank expression. How can you in the same day talk about how you hate me.. and how u want to marry me. He does this alot. I have confronted him about it and he just says that he is just trying to be honest with me. I do appreciate honesty, but i cant help but feel that he enjoys messing with my head. Anyways, lately I have been in a state of depression.. I am so hurt.. i am in a state of constant heartache.. i guess i was sticking around waiting for the guy I fell in love with to come back to me. He used to treat me so nice and would never talk disrespectful to me. Granted I know I put up with it .. so i am partially to blame.. I guess I know i need to get my self out of this state of depression. I think I know I have to get out before things get even worse. Well, to make things even more complicated.. i just took a home pregnancy test and the results came up positive.. Just the thought of having a child especially a daughter made me think about my relationship even deeper. How could I honestly look my daughter in the face and tell her not to let a man disrespect you when that is what I put up with now.
Geishawhelk Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Great. I would urge you to recommend he goes under a physician and has correct meds prescribed. You will never be able to stand the pace if he doesn't. The depression is a sign of that. You want two people with depression to bring up your child? If he won't take the Meds, leave, immediately. If he does, see if it imporves matters. if not sufficiently - THEN leave. I really hate to put a damper on things, but if you're depressed whilst carrying a baby, that transmits to your child. A child is physically connected to you., Whatever goes on in you, goes on for your baby. And please realise that her father has a clinically recognised condition. It's inherent in his psychological make up. he didn't "Catch" Bi-Polar. He always had it. It just doesn't always manifest immediately, nor is it always recognised.... It is hereditary. Hereditary.
Author WHAT13 Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 Thanks for the advice. I do realize it is hereditary.
redmelon Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 I dont want to sound rude, but this sounds like a horrible situation to bring a child into, and I hope you will seriously consider all of your options. He is abusive, you are depressed. He is bi-polar and is not on effective meds, or isnt taking them. A lot needs to happen before this could ever be a stable environment for a child to be in, more than could probably ever be resolved in 9 months.
Geishawhelk Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Thanks for the advice. I do realize it is hereditary. So you therefore realise that your child has a 25% chance of also being bi-polar. Subjecting it to this environment, will drastically increase the odds. Influence plays a huge part. Are you getting me....?
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