no_one Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Hello, I'm wondering if any of you experience the same thing and what you do to make it better.. Do you ever have a few hours where you are really enjoying yourself, relieved to have your ex and the sadness escape your mind for a bit........ only to find that you feel so much worse afterwards?? Suddenly i come to the realization that life is not waiting for me to get over my grief, and my ex is probably having many more moments of happiness then i am. When i am sad and can hardly get out of bed, I feel certain that he is feeling some of the same pain and misses me just as much and I seem to take comfort in that.
Bluebird In My Heart Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Hello, I'm wondering if any of you experience the same thing and what you do to make it better.. Do you ever have a few hours where you are really enjoying yourself, relieved to have your ex and the sadness escape your mind for a bit........ only to find that you feel so much worse afterwards?? Yes, in fact I have. However, I am grateful for those windows of peace - much, much better than the virtually continuous pain of being immersed in it, if that makes any sense. May I ask how long you have been broken up? *hugs* You have to expect these feelings to pop out of nowhere, babe. There's no rhyme or reason to them. You have two choices, the way I see it: 1. Stay with the pain, and grieve (but put a limit on it if you can - if you can't, don't put too much stock in that either - just know you will get another window of peace soon enough). 2. Try to distract yourself somehow. There's plenty of things to do (exercise, ect.). Making a list ahead of time with things to do can help...the healing heart does tend to muddle things sometimes, right? Suddenly i come to the realization that life is not waiting for me to get over my grief, and my ex is probably having many more moments of happiness then i am. When i am sad and can hardly get out of bed, I feel certain that he is feeling some of the same pain and misses me just as much and I seem to take comfort in that. His life is his own. We can't know anything that's going on with that. Be careful, you could be projecting, and that's not healthy for you. His happiness, his sadness, doesn't matter. How are you? How about you? Taking care of you? What can you do right now to make YOU feel better? Maybe eat a healthy snack, watch a funny show? Get it? YOU are the only one you have ANY control over right now. So care for you, honey. You are your priority, not him, k? Be your own best friend. Peace and Love to you. xx
UCLAMike Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Break up is just like withdraw from drugs. U will get spurs of moments like that. But just ride it out for a few mins to an hour, maybe a day. It gets better again.
Author no_one Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 May I ask how long you have been broken up? *hugs* Thanks for your thoughtful reply. We have now been apart since Election Night (3+ months) and have been NC since then. His life is his own. We can't know anything that's going on with that. Be careful, you could be projecting, and that's not healthy for you. His happiness, his sadness, doesn't matter. I'm glad you wrote this..it made me realize that I may be depending my feelings on how I imagine he is feeling. If I think that he must be missing me, I feel sad and wonder if I should contact him to let him know I still care.... A martyr..hmmm How are you? How about you? Taking care of you? What can you do right now to make YOU feel better? Maybe eat a healthy snack, watch a funny show? Get it? YOU are the only one you have ANY control over right now. So care for you, honey. You are your priority, not him, k? Be your own best friend. THANKS!
gwynieatpain Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 Whenever I felt sad about the break up I would think ... for billions of people on earth they live happily without my ex. Why would I alone to give him that power to ruin my emotion? Then I would feel much happier for the rest of the day.
Bluebird In My Heart Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 ^ ********** ...Thanks for your thoughtful reply. We have now been apart since Election Night (3+ months) and have been NC since then. *massive hugs!* Well done. How are you? Been thinking about you! Have you taken time to take care of you? I've taken up exercise again, feels really good! Hope you are well, lovie.
Dlyrica Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Whenever I felt sad about the break up I would think ... for billions of people on earth they live happily without my ex. Why would I alone to give him that power to ruin my emotion? Then I would feel much happier for the rest of the day. Oh my gosh I thought about that today on the way home from class..It made me feel a lot stronger and better too!
EmperorR Posted February 17, 2009 Posted February 17, 2009 Grieving is ok, but just remember nothing you can do will bring back your ex, so for me why be sad and downtrodden when I can be happy eat healthy and enjoy life, I was fine before my ex and I know I will be without her again, heck I'm happy right now new bf healthy roof over my head what more could I ask for.
Author no_one Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 Hi Bluebird, I took a step this weekend in claiming my life back---my sis, myself, and a few other family members took a spontaneous trip to Vegas for 4 days. Wow, I was so hesitant at first it was silly. My first thoughts were 'How am I going to find the time to cry in Vegas' Oh my! I'm glad I went. Had a blast. He was still on my mind of course, but it was thoughts like "Who needs him anyways" I'm back home and I'll pray these positive thoughts continue. Thanks for your thoughts.
Peter_pan Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 emp thought you where a dude? yeah i used to get that a lot. she would be on my mind so much i couldnt think of anything else. once an hour had passed without thinking of her and i suddenly remember i would be like woah i forgot about her for that long, thats crazy.
gutted1 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Its certain things that trigger my thoughts off. I sometimes have fond memories of a happy time i had with her but then i force my self into the reality that those happy memories are tarnished because she was lying and cheating on me the whole time, so times that seemed to be perfect and happy were actually full of betrayal and deciet. Its a shame because i truly thought i had met my soul mate and i believed in her and she crushed me. I will never know how someone could treat someone else with the cruelty in which my ex treated me, i would never be able to live with myself. In response to your question, memories are a bitch and you just need a quick reality check when one occurs. life can be harsh
electriclove Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Whenever I felt sad about the break up I would think ... for billions of people on earth they live happily without my ex. Why would I alone to give him that power to ruin my emotion? Then I would feel much happier for the rest of the day. I like that tip! Thanks
gwynieatpain Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 I like that tip! Thanks You're welcome :bunny:
Recommended Posts