Author five&dime Posted February 14, 2009 Author Posted February 14, 2009 Wow. Good luck with all that, Voldigicam. And thanks for the Valentine's Day tip.
pelicanpreacher Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 F&D, although you don't want to "bite your nose to spite your face" you may want to secretly plan and visualize for yourself the stark realities of bankruptcy, foreclosure, divorce, and separate residences to the point that you've picked out a place for your relocation and established an undisclosed individual bank account before your credit is affected. The place you pick must be month to month with an option to negotiate into a longterm contract. Give her no hint of your actions until you've gotten your mind completely around this concept with your p's and q's in perfect order then bombshell her like she bombshelled you for you must remember that she, in secrecy, bought time to carry on in this affair long enough to cut emotional ties with you and your marriage to become entrenched in her current thinking. You must use secrecy in the same way she did to "cut her off at the pass" in order to shock her like she shocked you into a new reality and your current way of thinking before her mind gets a chance to round the corner and come to grips with this eventuality in its own way and time. Only through calculated abrupt surprise can she truly feel the repercussions of her actions, the loss that she's incurring, and the fear of the new reality enough to shock her into focusing on you and the marriage again if not out of a newly re-emerging dormant love then at least a sense of desparation. If you choose to simply continue waiting on her to make the next move all the time then she knows she's got a ring in your nose and, with the slightest tug, will follow the sway of her azz right into the butcher's shop! (SALE: Ground Round $3 a Pound) If I've said it once I'll say it again, you've got to preempt her thought processes by manipulatively laying the groundwork to induce change in your favor naturally without the pleading, whining, and ultimatums for though you can forcibly lead a horse to water you can't always make him drink!
Author five&dime Posted February 15, 2009 Author Posted February 15, 2009 Final verdict: 1. Generic card reading "Love" on the outside, "Makes the world go 'round" on the inside (signed "Happy Valentine's Day" by me in small letters.) 2. One small candy bar (so the kids could see me being nice to mommy. I got lots of goodies for the kids.) (WW was disappointed, but I made no eye contact with her and quickly left to watch the rest of my hockey game.) P.S. No nookie for me...(shocking, I know.)
pelicanpreacher Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Final verdict: 1. Generic card reading "Love" on the outside, "Makes the world go 'round" on the inside (signed "Happy Valentine's Day" by me in small letters.) 2. One small candy bar (so the kids could see me being nice to mommy. I got lots of goodies for the kids.) (WW was disappointed, but I made no eye contact with her and quickly left to watch the rest of my hockey game.) P.S. No nookie for me...(shocking, I know.) Apropos and good show for the living beef shall remain on and with the steer for one more day!!!
jj33 Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Have you contacted a divorce lawyer yet? even if you are unsure of whether you will stay or go quickly or slowly knowing your rights and best strategy puts you in a much stronger position. I understand finances are tight, but its money well spent. In addition, if you do end up divorcing, you get first pick of who represents you. Once one spouse has consulted a lawyer on a divorce matter, that lawyer cant represent the other spouse. If you end up working things out it was a little bit of mony spent to empower and educate you. Well done on V day. Sends a strong message.
taylor Posted February 15, 2009 Posted February 15, 2009 Final verdict: 1. Generic card reading "Love" on the outside, "Makes the world go 'round" on the inside (signed "Happy Valentine's Day" by me in small letters.) 2. One small candy bar (so the kids could see me being nice to mommy. I got lots of goodies for the kids.) (WW was disappointed, but I made no eye contact with her and quickly left to watch the rest of my hockey game.) P.S. No nookie for me...(shocking, I know.) Good for you, Five&Dime. You handled the day well. Stay strong. The part I bolded is what struck me the most. It shows your wife still cares. This is a very good sign. Continue to temper your displays of affection. Over time, she will miss you. She will miss the little things you bring to her life. She will realize how much she took you for granted. AND SHE WILL WANT THIS BACK. But it is going to take time. Patience, my friend.
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