incision Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Im in a very bad place at the moment and have no idea what to do. the story is On january 2nd my wife of 7 years and been together 12 years with 3 children told me she only loved me as a friend and wanted to split but the next day she said her ideal plan would be we stayed apart for a unsaid time to find that spark we had when we started going out and build it up from friends again but later than week we slept together but i still moved out, we continued to see each other every day and slept together about another 5 or 6 times then 2 weeks ago we had the best sex and the best weekend together she always said we`d get back together but in the days after the great weekend she kissed a friend from work who she also see`s socially and has since promised that she isn`t seeing him and that was the last thing she was looking for. An last night she told me it was over and i can`t understand what has changed i can get past the kiss i really can but i keep imagining her with this guy and it eats me up inside i`ve told her this but she still says its over and to take it that it is over but if anything happens in the future then it is a bonus. By the way this guy goes round hers most nights and continuesly sends her texts. Its valentines day tomorrow and wants to see her but i don`t want her to know i`m free for tomorrow night in case she asks me to babysit so she can go out maybe with this guy. Any help form anyone who is in or been in the situation and women please give me insight into what you think. I`m at my wits end what to do.
Geishawhelk Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 File on the grounds of Adultery. Go for joint custody. Make her move out. This is so over, you do know that, don't you? She's a liar and a cheater and she has no intention of coming back to you unless this guy dumps her. Don't let her even think she can do that. Good Luck.
Author incision Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 I dont know if its over or if a just can`t accept its over i know she`s not together with this guy. Or am i just being stupid ?
Geishawhelk Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 You're not being stupid. but right now you're too emotionally washed over toi be able to think straight. You cannot rely upon her word as factual. She has come and gone like a spring tide, and she will just keep doing so, because frankly - she thinks she can. You're Mr. Reliable. You've taken her back before, you can keep doing it, can't you sweetie....? She "kissed" someone whilst you were in the throes of having - in your words - "the best sex ever"... so even in your most intimate, close moments, her mind and heart were wandering. You know absolutely, without any shadow of a doubt, do you, that she's not together with this guy? How would you know? Because she's told you? Yeh. Right...... This other guy is barely important. It's what her actions tell you, that's important. She's shifty, flaky, unreliable and deceitful. She's yanking at your heart and playing with your loyalty. Revert to plan A. File, Joint custody, she moves, not you.
BCCA Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Geishawhelk is right on. In the history of dating, I would bet less than 1% of these 'temporary splits' don't end up permanent. Its basically someone being selfish, they dont want you, but since its either you or nothing, they'll take your love until they find a replacement. She's not 'together' with this guy, as in, they arent a couple? Thats pointless. Shes probably been cheating emotionally with him for a while, and from my experience, people tend to lie about what they did. Sure, she told you it was just a kiss, but she also told you that she only wanted the split to reignite your flame. Were both a lie or just one? Who knows, but one thing is certain, she's been dishonest. I'm sorry, but this needs to end. Take Geishawhelk's advice, its right on the money, as usual.
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