Religioux Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 So, I've been dating my current boyfriend for a little over a year now. Right before we started seeing one another, he had been talking to this girl, Caitlin, over the Internet. They had met at a water-park, and would have most likely begun to date, but her parents were extremely strict and wouldn't let her see him. Therefore, they had to talk over the Internet. A "relationship" (so to speak) blossomed between them. They talked to one another about everything, and became very close. This went on for around half a year or so. Then, her parents found out they were talking through the Internet/on the phone occasionally, freaked out, and forbid her to talk to him. She obeyed, and thus their lines of communication were severed instantly. He was understandably depressed about this for quite some time, and missed her terribly, since they had become so close over the months. Enter me...I met him through a college class of ours. We began to casually date, and became serious after a month or two. I knew about this girl almost from the start, because they were still covertly chatting, only occasionally though, through her best friend's cell phone. I tried not to mind, because he insisted that he was by this point over her, but still cared about her as a friend. And like I said, their talking was only occasionally, when she would text him randomly maybe twice a month. She tried to get him to still flirt with her, though, by saying things like "If you send me another picture of you with your camera, then I'll put up pictures of me in my panties on my Myspace for you to see." This bothered me HUGELY, but he wouldn't ignore her texts or quit talking to her, because as he said, he still cared about her. He kept assuring me he was over her, that she was immature, that he realized now that their "relationship" was unrealistic and he had viewed her in an impossible light. Eventually, over the months, their communication dwindled as she got a new boyfriend and we continued to become more serious. They haven't talked seriously for months now, so I figured I could quit worrying about her. However... I logged into my boyfriend's Myspace account this morning, and saw that she had emailed him. Curiousity killed the cat. I just HAD to read it and figure out what was going on. I copy-pasted the email here... ~*~*~*~ I just wanted to say that you have been in my mind all week for some strange reason! I dont know why, but i could not stop thinking about you! I miss you. I have dont some stupid tings and ugh giving my damn virginity up to zach might be one of them! I think he is about to break up with me! miss you p.s. please dont tell anyone that i wrote you! I just thought if i write you my mind would be clear again or at peace. lol! ~*~*~*~ Ugh. My heart is racing. I'm sick of having to worry about this girl. And I don't know how to bring this up to my boyfriend. He knows that I know his Myspace password (he told me it) but I'm afraid he'll think I was snooping...which admittely, I sort of...was. Which is wrong on my part. I'm also afraid that if he sees this email from her, then he won't be able to resist contacting her again. He's admitted multiple times to me that he has a huge soft spot for this girl, that he still cares about her in a platonic way. And if they were to start talking again on a regular basis, well...I don't know if my nerves/paranoia could take that. Like I said, I thought this girl was history. What should I do? Should I just delete the email from her, so that he is never the wiser as to the fact that she's trying to get in contact with him again? I mean, she could also just as easily text or call him, I'm sure. Any advice...would be awesome, thank you. And please don't bash on me for snooping. Plenty of people do it, and I have trust issues as I've been cheated on before in the past...never an excuse, I know, but...being bashed on will only make me feel worse.
Enema Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 You shouldn't post personal information here... ie. her email address. As to your post, just because you beg us to ignore it, doesn't mean we will. You brought this crap on yourself by snooping. No one ever felt better after snooping, it's a deplorable thing to do. That you're considering actually tampering with his account so that he never sees her email is despicable. You should be very ashamed. If you can't trust a guy not to cheat without keeping tabs on his every action, you shouldn't be with him.
Treasa Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 You shouldn't post personal information here... ie. her email address. As to your post, just because you beg us to ignore it, doesn't mean we will. You brought this crap on yourself by snooping. No one ever felt better after snooping, it's a deplorable thing to do. That you're considering actually tampering with his account so that he never sees her email is despicable. You should be very ashamed. If you can't trust a guy not to cheat without keeping tabs on his every action, you shouldn't be with him. I ditto everything.
Author Religioux Posted February 12, 2009 Author Posted February 12, 2009 Why, thank you...I am just so glad that I know this site exists for those actually interested in helping people out, rather than bashing them. Much appreciated. As for posting her email address, it was a mistake, I should have realized it was included in the message and deleted that part out. I just tried to edit my post, but the site won't let me anymore. If a mod could do it for me, that'd be great, thanks. As for my issue, I went up to my boyfriend and was honest with him about everything. We're very open with one another. We know each other's passwords to things because hopefully we have nothing to hide. Anyway, after talking it through with him, I feel better. I should know next time to go to him, instead of anonymous rude people via an Internet forum, for help. Thanks for the lesson.
Enema Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Nothing to see here folks. Just a jealous, controlling woman who wanted us to pat her on the back and cheer her on with a doomed strategy.
chrislovestosurf Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Enema, why dont you keep your mouth closed. She wanted feedback, not your dumbass insults. Not to mention, the guy TOLD HER HIS PASSWORD. To the original poster, snooping is no good but I can see why you are upset, at least you admitted it was wrong. You are in tough situation now because he will know that you were snooping. If you are going through this much turmoil its probably best to get out of the relationship and move on.
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