help with deppression and relationship does he love me and whant to be with me

[melissababe000]

hi my name is melissa im only 16 and suffering from server dippression and ingaged .my fiencey says he carnt cope with me beeing dippressed his mum is also dippressed which doesnt help.i love him verry much but he and i are going though a rough patch and i need some help with what to do.we argue so much and im always with him because im liveing with him i got chucked out of my mums house and my parients are seperated.i lost my verginity to him and i whant to stay with him his mum and dad love me and treat me as there daughter.it all started going bad when he said he loves me but a part of him doesnt whant to be with me i said why he said because im always depressed and say i whant to die all the time.he said he whanted to sleep around and just have me as a friend but he still whants me to live there and have sex with him no way am i.then he goes on saying im like a best friend to him and a sister he keeps saying we will just be friend then says he whants to be together he also whants me to keep the ring.i love him so much i dont whant to loose him i get scared when he goes out with these girls that he has met at college because he said he llike 2 of them.i have been so upset no wers still together and haveing a break because we are always together.and we r off on our ingagement holiday next wensday.but i see him at college at break and today didnt say hellow to him and ignord him in frount of his mates.later on he came over to see how i was doing and he gave me a hug but when i tryed to kiss him he moved away.im so upset i dont stop thinking about him last time we where ment to have a break i came back after 2 days because i was missing him and his mum said she missed me on the phone.he keeps going out with his m8ts and thouse girls i know i sound a bit jellous but im freightend of looseing him.please help me i need im new to relationships and havent lernt what to do in situations and see things properly and maybe some one older who has maybe been though sometink like this could help thanx melissa xxxx

[jenny]

i want to help you, but i don't totally understand what you ar saying. take a deep breath, think about what you want to say, and list in numbered points if that helps you.

 

you will have better luck getting a response if you do not post your thread in so many places and if you communicate clearly.

 

 

cheers, k

[LadyX]

Why would you want to be with someone who obviously wants to use you? No wonder you're depressed! Dump this guy...your young, you have your whole life ahead of you. You have many more relationships to experience before you decide who your Mr. Right is. Don't settle! And if your not in school.....you should be!

[melissababe000]

im currently in a relationship but he doesnt seem bothed with me i suffer with depression and we live with each outher so we are allways argueing its not helping me and its not helping the relationship we are off on holiday next week so im at my dads to get a break but i worry whether he does whant me and love me because he is saying and doing loads of negitive things.like he whants to sleep around but still whants me and that he said he loves me like a sister and best friend and he still whants to be with me.but he doesnt seem interested he will not kiss me or tell me he loves me any more and it makes me more depressed as im a verry insecure person and need to be told and showed that im loved.and at the moment im not getting that please help me what do u think i should do and do u think he loves me ?

[melissababe000]

i go college

[LadyX]

I'm sorry for asking...but what country do you live in?

 

College? At 16?

[jenny]

Originally posted by melissababe000

i go college

 

 

very, very, pleasing. i think i'm going to put this on a bumper sticker.

[melissababe000]

england manchester why

[LadyX]

Originally posted by melissababe000

england manchester why

 

If I'm not mistaken, the people in England spell English words the same way Americans do. I could barely make out what you were saying!

If I were you I'd get my mind off this boy, and study harder.

[clia]

I'm desperately hoping English is not her first language.

[HokeyReligions]

Had I gone to college directly after high school I would have started my freshman year at age 16.

 

Melissa, dump this guy. Just because you love him does not mean he will ever love you. You are new at this so this is what you do in this situation. You dump him. Move out, if you go to college perhaps you can find some housing on-campus or share an apartment with others. Date lots of people - you don't have to go to bed with all of them, or any of them. See a doctor about the depression - it may be easily treated and if you are talking about wanting to die then you need to see a doc. Wouldn't it be wonderful to NOT feel that way! It might be a simple imbalance in your system that is treated with drug therapy and short-term counseling.

 

Let go of this guy. Most people suffer at least one heart-break in their life - it's like a right-of-passage. This is yours.

 

1. Get to a doctor

1a. Start therapy

2. Dump the guy

3. Move out

4. Study and stay in school

5. Make new friends

[moimeme]

16 is awfully young to be engaged!

[Georgeo]

You need some help with being free from having to live with this monster guy.

 

Then maybe you will have a clear mind and get some stuff done like finding a career path and some goals. If you have no goals then you have no future and you should try to get a big sister instead of a "brother" to help you out with your feelings.

 

In closing I feel that 16 is way too early to start a sexual relationship since you are too young to control your feelings and in need of the right goal instead of you being a freeloader with this guy or kido that is taking advantage of you so much that it reminds me of a truck driver going full speed to hit a deer or maybe a bunny. ROFL!!

[SoleMate]

Advice? Sure.

 

* Stop having sex with this boy.

 

* Get treated for depression. You need counseling and medication. Get trusted adults to help you with this.

 

* Find a safe living situation for yourself living away from this boy. Get trusted adults to help you with this.

 

* Focus on your studies, and making new GIRLfriends who will have a good influence on you.

 

* Find yourself a trusted adult mentor, probably a woman, who has a successful life and who is willing to help you learn to be a young woman.

 

Good luck!

[Georgeo]

Ummm, is that what I just covered except for the counseling??? Not sure if a young person tryign to grow needs to have some drugs in my opinion...